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Mared ɛn pikin dɛn we nɔ de tink bɔt wɛda man ɔ uman
Mared ɛn pikin dɛn we nɔ de tek pat pan wɛda man ɔ uman, dat na aw dɛn kin tramp pikin dɛn mɔtalman rayt we dɛn nɔ gri fɔ gi dɛn di rayt fɔ gɛt dɛn mama ɛn papa we bɔn dɛn - yuz as rizin fɔ mek dɛn gɛt mɔtalman rayt ɛn fɔ mek big pipul dɛn ikwal
Dis atikul de tɔk bɔt mared we nɔ de mek man ɛn uman ɛn di we aw famili strɔkchɔ de afɛkt pikin dɛn. Di wan dɛn we de sɔpɔt jɛnɛral nyutral-mared ɛn tinap fɔ fridɔm fɔ du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs na sosayti, nɔ kin luk tin dɛn frɔm di we aw pikin dɛn de si tin. Dɛn nɔ de tek tɛm tink bɔt di impak we di tin dɛn we big pipul dɛn kin pik ɛn di lɔ dɛn we dɛn kin mek kin gɛt pan pikin dɛn. Dɛn pipul ya jɔs de tɔk bɔt ikwal rayt, mɔtalman rayt ɛn soshal inikualiti, bɔt dɛn fɔgɛt se pikin dɛnsɛf fɔ gɛt mɔtalman rayt. Dɛn fɔ gɛt di rayt frɔm we dɛn bɔn dɛn to dɛn tu mama ɛn papa we bɔn dɛn. I gɛt prɔblɛm if dɛn nɔ gri fɔ du dis. Dɛn kin tek pɔsin we nɔ gɛt papa ɛn we nɔ gɛt mama as tin we nɔmal ɛn i fayn. Dɔn dɛn kin op se di pikin dɛn fɔ ajɔst to di tru tin we se dɛn dɔn tek dis men rayt frɔm dɛn ɛn dɛn fɔ ivin tɛl tɛnki fɔ am. I tipik bak fɔ dis tɔpik fɔ tray fɔ shift di tɔk bɔt pikin dɛn to di tink se fɔ agens mared we nɔ gɛt ɛnitin fɔ du wit wɛda man ɔ uman de ripresent homophobia ɛn et to omoseksual. Pipul dɛm wae de tɔk dis kin tink se dɛn no ɛn fil di kayn we aw pɔrsin de tink ɛn fil insay pɔrsin wae nɔr gri wit wetin dɛn de si. Dɛn nɔ de tek tɛm tink se yu kin nɔ gri pan tin dɛn jɔs bikɔs ɔf di tru tin, bɔt stil nɔ et ɛnibɔdi. Di wan dɛn we de sɔpɔt mared we nɔ gɛt ɛnitin fɔ du wit man ɛn uman nɔ de tink bak se bɔku pipul dɛn we de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit dɛnsɛf nɔ de agens dis prɔblɛm. Dɛn si se i de pwɛl di pikin in rayt fɔ gɛt in papa ɛn mama. Di man we nɔ biliv se Gɔd de we nem Bongibault dɔn tɔk insay wan intavyu (Wendy Wright, French Homosexuals Join Demonstration Against Gay Marriage):
WETIN MEK PIPUL DƐN DE SƆPƆT MARED WE NƆ GƐT WANWƆD WIT WƐDA MAN Ɔ UMAN? We dɛn de tray fɔ no us kayn we pipul dɛn kin tink bɔt omoseksualiti - na innate kwaliti ɔ na sɔm bakgrɔn tin dɛn ɛn di pɔsin in yon riakshɔn to dɛn kin afɛkt am - pipul dɛn kin le to di fɔs opshɔn. Bɔku pipul dɛn kin tek dis tin as sɔntin we dɛn bɔn wit Bɔku pipul dɛn we dɛn kɔl di Kristian gay muvmɛnt (ya na Finland, fɔ ɛgzampul, Yhteys-muvmɛnt ɛn Tulkaa kaikki-muvmɛnt) kin apil bak to di we aw omoseksualiti bɔn wit am . Liisa Tuovinen, we na di lida fɔ di Yhteys-muvmɛnt, bin briŋ dis jenɛral we aw pipul dɛn bin de tink insay wan TV tɔk insay 2002:
Afta ɔl, Pɔl nɔ gɛt ɛnitin fɔ du wit mami ɛn dadi biznɛs di we aw Gɔd nɔ want, we na tin we mɔtalman bɔn so dat dɛn nɔ go ebul fɔ chenj am. (2) .
We dɛn ɔndastand omoseksualiti as sɔntin we dɛn bɔn wit, i go mɔs bi se na wan pan di big rizin dɛn bak we mek pipul dɛn de si mared we nɔ de tink bɔt man ɛn uman ɛn di we aw dɛn de liv omoseksual layf fayn na di sosayti tide. Dɛn kin tink se if na tin we dɛn bɔn wit lɛk skin kɔlɔ ɔ lɛft-an, den yu nɔ tink se i rayt fɔ difend di omoseksual layf ɛn pipul dɛn we gɛt da kayn kwaliti de? Yu nɔ tink se i fayn fɔ sɔpɔt pipul dɛn we dɛn de disayd fɔ du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs? Bɔt wetin na di tru tin bɔt di tin? Bɔku pipul dɛn we de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit dɛnsɛf nɔ kin gri se na tin we dɛn bɔn wit. Sɔm pipul dɛn kin agyu se na innate, bɔt bɔku pipul dɛn gri se di sem-sex sexual seduction ɛn sikɔstɛms bin ple pat fɔ bɔn dɛn tendency. Dis na bin kɔmɔn kɔnsɛpt dɛn bak na sayɛns sɔm dikɛd ia bifo. So na tin we fiba bita ɔ wetin mek kriminal dɛn kin kɔmɔt frɔm sɔm kayn tin dɛn. Nɔbɔdi nɔ go ebul fɔ pik di kayn we aw dɛn mɛn am ɛn wetin dɛn dɔn du to am, bɔt pɔsin kin pik fɔ insɛf if i want fɔ fɔgiv, if i go bi kriminal ɔ i go du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin. I kin want fɔ du dɛn tin ya, bɔt te to sɔm mak i kin disayd aw i want fɔ liv:
A rid wan intrestin stɔdi we wan masta sabi bukman bin du: na bin sɔv fɔ no aw bɔku pipul dɛn we de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin biliv se dɛn bɔn dɛn da we de. Eti fayv pasɛnt pan di wan dɛn we dɛn intavyu bin tink se dɛn omoseksualiti na wan we we dɛn dɔn lan fɔ biev we dɛn kin du bad bad tin dɛn we dɛn kin du ali na dɛn os ɛn we ɔda pɔsin kin mek dɛn want fɔ du sɔntin. Nawde, di fɔs kwɛstyɔn we a kin aks we a de mit wit pɔsin we de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin na, “Udat gi yu di inspɛkshɔn fɔ am?” Dɛn ɔl kin ansa mi. A go aks da tɛm de, “Wetin fɔ dɔn apin to yu ɛn yu mami ɛn dadi biznɛs if yu nɔ bin mit yu ɔnkul, ɔ if yu kɔzin nɔ bin kam na yu layf? Ɔ we yu nɔ gɛt yu stɛp-papa? Wetin yu tink se fɔ dɔn apin?” Dis na we di bɛl dɛn kin bigin fɔ blo. Dɛn se, “Maybe, maybe, maybe.” (3) .
Bɔt Ole nɔ biliv se sɔm kayn "ɔmoseksual jin" de. I biliv se di tin dɛn we kin mek pɔsin fil lɛk se dɛn de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin kin kɔmpleks mɔ, ɛn fɔ ɛgzampul, i tɔk bɔt bɔku tu tu twin dɛn we fiba dɛnsɛf ɛn na wan pan dɛn tu pipul dɛn nɔmɔ na omoseksual. Ole biliv se bɔku tin dɛn bin mek i biev, lɛk di kɔmpleks ɛn bad padi biznɛs we i bin gɛt wit in papa we i bin smɔl. Ole nɔ de stɔp we i de tɛl bɔt in padi biznɛs wit in papa we i bin smɔl. I bin fil se in papa nɔ de ɛva de ɛn i bin de fred in papa. Sɔntɛnde, di papa kin gɛt wan sik we de mek i vɛks bad bad wan, ɛn Ɔle kin fil sɔm tɛm se na bay wilful in papa kin shem am na pɔblik. Ole tɔk klia wan se i et in papa. (4) .
Harri intres pan di diskushɔn bɔt omoseksualiti na di midia ɛn stɔdi bɔt omoseksualiti. I biliv tranga wan se omoseksualiti nɔ gɛt natin fɔ du wit tin dɛn we dɛn bɔn wit. Fɔ ɛgzampul, i kin yuz dis we aw pipul dɛn de tink, bikɔs bɔku tɛm i kin izi fɔ no wetin mek pipul dɛn kin lɛk fɔ du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin. Bɔku tɛm, dɛn dɔn du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit dɛn ɔ dɛn nɔ kin gɛt padi biznɛs wit dɛn mama ɛn papa ɔ dɛn kɔmpin dɛn. Harri se, "Dis dɔn mek a biliv se nɔto fɔs ɛn fɔs bɔt jin. Bɔt a nɔ tink se i nɔ pɔsibul fɔ mek sɔm pipul dɛn gɛt sɔm jin dɛn we de mek dɛn ebul fɔ du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin." (5) .
Insay in kes, Tepi biliv se omoseksualiti na bikɔs i gɛt sɔm kayn imɔshɔnal dɛfisit we i de tray fɔ ful-ɔp. Tepi se i bin de fred in papa we i bin smɔl ɛn i stil gɛt "so fred fɔ man". Tepi se i de luk fɔ mama bitwin uman dɛn. Pan ɔl we Tepi de tink bɔt di rizin dɛn we mek i lɛk uman dɛn, i tɔk bak bɔt aw i lɛk uman dɛn se: "As i dɔn go kayn we fɔ shok natin, sɔntɛnde a dɔn rili wɔnda aw i kin go da we de." Bɔt i biliv se rizin de fɔ dis, insɛf. Tepi nɔ biliv se omoseksualiti na bikɔs ɔf jin ɔ pɔsin kin bi gay ɔ lesbian frɔm we dɛn bɔn am. Insay in opinion, pɔsin kin gro ɔp gay ɔ lesbian, ivin if i nɔ gɛt ɛni spɛshal dizayd. (6) .
Na tru se mi, lɛk bɔku gay pipul dɛn, de wɔnda usay omoseksualiti kɔmɔt. A biliv se di pɔsin in pasɔnaliti kin fɔm insay di fɔs tri ia we i de liv, ivin pan mami ɛn dadi biznɛs. Dis kin afɛkt di envayrɔmɛnt ɛn di tin dɛn we mɔtalman de du. A nɔ biliv atɔl se omoseksualiti na tin we pɔsin kin gɛt frɔm in mama ɛn papa. Fɔ sɔm pan mi fambul dɛn, mi omoseksualiti at jɔs bikɔs dɛn de fred se i go bi ɛritabl. (7) .
Yu tink se na jin dɛn kin mek pɔsin du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin? As wi bin dɔn tɔk, di ɔspitul standad ɛksplɛnchɔn fɔ omoseksualiti naw na dat na bikɔs dɛn bɔn am ɛn na di jin, ɔ ɔmon dɛn we dɛn kin pul we dɛn gɛt bɛlɛ kin mek am. Pipul dɛn tink se na di tin dɛn we de mek pɔsin du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin na in mɔ de mek i du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin. Bɔt di stɔdi dɛn we dɛn dɔn du pan twin pikin dɛn nɔ sɔpɔt dis ɛksplen. twin dεm we fiba dεn gεt di sem jin dεm εn di sem envayroment na di bεlε, yet na wan pan dεm nכmכ kin intres pan in yon jεnda. If na jin dɛn mek omoseksualiti dis nɔ fɔ bi so. Di kot we de kam biɛn dis na frɔm wan big stɔdi we dɛn bin du bɔt dis tɔpik, we dɛn bin du na Kanada ɛn we bin gɛt lɛk 20,000 pipul dɛn. I sho se di jin ɛn di tin dɛn we pɔsin kin gɛt frɔm in mama ɛn papa nɔto di tin we kin mek pɔsin du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin.
Wan stɔdi we dɛn du pan twin pikin dɛn na Kanada sho se tin dɛn we de apin to pipul dɛn we gɛt layf impɔtant pas di jin dɛn (...) Di risach rizulyt sho se di jin dɛm nɔ gɛt ɛni big minin. If wan pan wan tu twin dɛn we fiba dɛnsɛf na bin omoseksual, i bin gɛt 6.7% prɔbabiliti se di ɔda twin insɛf bin intres pan pipul dɛn we gɛt di sem sɛks. di pasεnshכn fכ twin dεm we nכ idεntikal na bin 7.2% εn fכ rεgulεr bכda sista dεm na bin 5.5%. Dɛn rizɔlt ya nɔ gri wit di jenɛtik mɔdel we wi bin dɔn tɔk bɔt fɔ omoseksualiti. di envayroment we twin dεm de gro insay dεn mama in uterus na di sem fכ di tu twins dεm we i kam pan כmon dεm, εn so di risכlt we Bearman εn Brucker gεt de pruv di tiori se if di mama in כmon dεm nכ bεlε we i bεlε, i de mek omoseksualiti. (...) Twin stɔdi dɛn we dɛn bin dɔn du bifo dis tɛm bin dɔn gɛt dɛn sɔbjɛkt dɛn na klinik ɔ tru omoseksual ɔganayzeshɔn dɛn, ɔ ɔda we dɛn bin gɛt smɔl sampul. Bearman ɛn Brucker tɔk se dɛn stɔdi na di wan we dɛn kin abop pan pas ɔl bikɔs dɛn bin tek am bay we dɛn tek wan random sampling frɔm wan yɔŋ pipul dɛn stɔdi we inklud di wan ol neshɔn. Na lɛk 20,000 pipul dɛn bin de we dɛn bin de tɛst! Dɔn bak, di wan dɛn we du di risach nɔ bin abop pan wetin wan pan tu twin dɛn tɔk bɔt di twin in mami ɛn dadi biznɛs: Bifo dat, dɛn bin go to di ɔda twin ɛn aks dɛn bɔt dat. (8) .
Bɔku tɛm, di wan dɛn we de stɔdi bɔt omoseksualiti nɔ biliv di kayn we aw omoseksualiti bɔn. Olli Stålström, we na di fɔs mɛmba fɔ di Finnish Seta muvmɛnt, bin briŋ dis tin insay in diserteshɔn Homoseksuaalisuuden sairausleiman loppu (Di ɛnd fɔ stigmatizing omoseksualiti as sik, 1997). I bin tɔk se di wan dɛn we de du risach bɔt omoseksualiti nɔ sɔpɔt di "I was born gay" tiori fɔ lɔng tɛm. I bin tɔk bɔt tu sayɛns kɔnfrɛns dɛn we bɔku bɔku sayɛnsman dɛn bin atɛnd:
Tu sayɛns kɔnfrɛns dɛn we dɛn bin gɛt insay Disɛmba 1987, wi kin si am as impɔtant pɔynt na istri ... involv 100 omoseksualiti risach pipul dɛm frɔm 22 difrɛn kɔntri dɛm na 100 wok grup dɛm... Di kɔnfrɛns dɛm bin gri bak se i nɔ rayt fɔ tek di klasification fɔ omoseksualiti as mental disɔda wit tiori dɛm bɔt innate nature. Dɛn bin si am se i nid fɔ jɔs rijɛkt di impɔtant we aw pipul dɛn de si omoseksualiti, we dɛn se omoseksualiti gɛt wan impɔtant tin we nɔ gɛt ɛnitin fɔ du wit tɛm ɛn kɔlchɔ we gɛt sɔm rizin. ( pej 299-300)
Feral pikin dɛn . Wan tin we de sho aw bɔku mami ɛn dadi biznɛs gɛt fɔ du wit di tin dɛn we de apin ɛn di tin dɛn we de apin na di say we dɛn de na di smɔl pikin dɛn we dɛn kin lɛf fɔ liv wit animal dɛn. Dɛn nɔ gɛt ɛnitin fɔ du wit mami ɛn dadi biznɛs atɔl. Dis sho se mɔtalman kin du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pipul dɛn bak. Nɔto bayoloji nɔmɔ de disayd. Wan man we de stɔdi bɔt divɛlɔpmɛnt sayɛns ɛn we na ɛstɛt prɔfɛsɔ fɔ sayɛns, we nem Risto Vuorinen, tɔk insay in buk we nem Minän synty ja kehitys [Birth and development of self] (1997) bɔt dɛn smɔl pikin dɛn ya we dɛn dɔn lɛf biɛn, we dɛn kɔl feral pikin dɛn, we animal dɛn mɛn. If na jɔs di jin dɛn nɔmɔ de sho mami ɛn dadi biznɛs, dɛn kayn kes dɛn ya nɔ bin fɔ de:
Asesexuality of feral pikin na wan impɔtant tin we dɛn dɔn fɛn. Pan ɔl we dɛn bɔdi machɔ, dɛn nɔ de sho ɛni intres pan mami ɛn dadi biznɛs... I tan lɛk se wan fɔs tɛm de we rili impɔtant fɔ mek dɛn gɛt mami ɛn dadi biznɛs.
Bɔku pipul dɛn we de sɔpɔt mared we nɔ gɛt ɛnitin fɔ du wit man ɔ uman, dɛnsɛf dɔn gri dairekt wan se di agyumɛnt bɔt aw pɔsin kin bɔn pikin nɔto tru ɔ i gɛt gud fawndeshɔn. Wan pan dɛn na Jɔn Kɔvino, we nɔ biliv se omoseksualiti na tin we dɛn bɔn wit. I dɔn tɔk se: "Bɔt bad argumɛnt na bad argumɛnt, ilɛk aw dɛn kin pul fayn - ɛn tru - kɔnklushɔn frɔm am" (9) Risach sho se di sɛkshɔnal aydentiti kin chenj bak to sɔm mak wit di ej, bɔt bɔku tɛm na di usual heterosexual dairekshɔn. Fɔ sɔm yɔŋ pipul dɛn, dɛn jɛnɛral aydentiti kin stil nɔ klia, bɔt wit di ej, bɔku pan dɛn go fɛn nɔmal heteroseksuɛl aydentiti:
Wan big stɔdi we dɛn bin du na Amɛrika we dɛn bin pul insay 2007 bɔt di chenj we di pikin dɛn we ol 16-22 ia kin chenj pan mami ɛn dadi biznɛs, sho se di we aw pipul dɛn kin want fɔ du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin ɔ we kin du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin kin chenj 25 tɛm pas di ɔda we aw dɛn kin du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin insay wan ia pas di ɔda we. Fɔ bɔku titi dɛn, di filin we dɛn kin gɛt fɔ du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin kin go dɔŋ we dɛn de ol. Na lɛk 70 pasɛnt pan di 17 ia ol bɔy pikin dɛn we bin sho se dɛn want fɔ du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit dɛnsɛf, bin sho se dɛn de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit dɛnsɛf we dɛn ol 22 ia.(Savin-Williams & Ream 2007: 385 pp.) (10)
DI TRADISHƆNAL MARED LƆ DE DISKRIMƐNTƆR? Wan argumɛnt fɔ mared we nɔ gɛt ɛnitin fɔ du wit man ɔ uman na dat di tradishɔnal lɔ bɔt mared de mek pipul dɛn nɔ gɛt wanwɔd. Na dat mek di wan dɛn we de sɔpɔt mared we nɔ de mek man ɛn uman de tɔk bɔt ikwal rayt ɛn fɔ fɛt agens diskrimineshɔn, we dɛn de difend dɛn opinion. Di midia kin put mɛsej dɛn bak we dɛn kɔt fayn fayn wan bɔt mɔtalman rayt ɛn ikwal rayt.
Di rayt fɔ mared fɔ ɔlman we dɔn big ɛn fɔ chenj di minin fɔ mared . We dɛn de tɔk bɔt diskrimineshɔn we gɛt fɔ du wit di tradishɔnal lɔ bɔt mared, dɛn fɔ tɔk se ɔl big pipul dɛn gɛt rayt fɔ mared. No eksepshɔn nɔ de ya. Ɛni big man ɔ uman kin go mared wit di ɔda man ɔ uman. So di tradishɔnal lɔ fɔ mared dɔn ɔlrɛdi ikwal ɛn i nɔ de diskriminayt ɛnibɔdi. Fɔ se ɔda tin de agens di tru tin dɛn. Bifo dat, di tray we dɛn de tray fɔ mek mared go bifo to man ɛn uman we gɛt di sem bɔdi kin chenj di minin fɔ mared bak. Di wɔd mared gɛt nyu minin we i nɔ bin gɛt bifo. I tan lɛk fɔ agyu se, fɔ ɛgzampul, nɔmal wok rilayshɔn bitwin pɔsin we de gi dɛn wok ɛn pɔsin we de wok fɔ dɛn, min mared, ɔ se baysikul ɛn plen na motoka, ilɛksɛf nɔto so i bi. Di wɔd, we fɔ lɔng lɔng tɛm insay mɔtalman istri, pipul dɛn dɔn ɔndastand se i min jɔs di rilayshɔn bitwin man ɛn uman, so i chenj in minin to difrɛn wan tru di kɔnsɛpt fɔ mared we nɔ de tek man ɔ uman. I de chenj wan tin we dɔn de na ɔl di men kɔlchɔ dɛn fɔ bɔku bɔku tawzin ia.
Ɔda we dɛn fɔ lɛk pɔsin. Fɔ se mared lɔ we nɔ gɛt ɛnitin fɔ du wit man ɛn uman go pul di nɔ ikwal ɛn diskrimineshɔn na bad argumɛnt bikɔs ɔda kayn rilayshɔnship de. Bikɔs if dɛn kɔl omoseksual rilayshɔnship mared, aw pɔsin go jɔstify fɔ pul ɔda kayn rileshɔnship dɛn kɔmɔt na di sem lɔ? Wetin mek na di wan dɛn nɔmɔ we gɛt mared-os nɔmɔ dɛn fɔ put insay di lɔ bɔt mared? If wi fala di sem lɔjik we pipul dɛn de tray naw fɔ difend dis kwɛshɔn, dɛn kayn rilayshɔn ya fɔ de bak insay di skɔp fɔ di lɔ. If dɛn pul dɛn kɔmɔt, na, akɔdin to di sem lɔjik, diskrimineshɔn ɛn sɔpɔt fɔ inikualiti. Dɛn kayn rizɔlt ya kin kam if wi fala di tin dɛn we di wan dɛn we de sɔpɔt mared we nɔ gɛt ɛnitin fɔ du wit man ɔ uman ɛn we wi chenj di minin fɔ di wɔd mared:
• SMƆL TƆK: Rilayshɔn bitwin mama ɛn gyal pikin, as dɛn de liv na di sem os
• SMƆL TƆK: Man, we de liv wit in dɔg
• SMƆL TƆK: Rilayshɔnship fɔ mared pas wan uman
• SMƆL TƆK: Tu studɛnt dɛn we de liv na di sem dɔm
• SMƆL TƆK: Incest rilayshɔn bak na wan we. Ivin di wan dɛn we de sɔpɔt gay mared, bɔku tɛm dɛn nɔ kin gri wit dɛn kayn rilayshɔnship dɛn de bikɔs dɛn kin si am as tin we nɔ rayt pan gud abit dɛn. Bɔt di wan dɛn we gɛt bad abit bɔt mared we nɔ gɛt ɛnitin fɔ du wit man ɛn uman kin nɔ gri fɔ mared fɔ di sem rizin. Dɛn kin si am se i nɔ fayn pan abit dɛn.
Prɔfɛsɔ, Anto Leikola, bin rayt bɔt dis kwɛstyɔn na Yliopisto [Yunivasiti] magazin (8 / 1996) wit di taytul Olisiko rakkauskin rekisteröitävä? [Yu tink se dɛn fɔ rɛjista lɔv bak?] . I bin tɔk se we dɛn fala di sem lɔjik, i nɔ go gri fɔ mek dɛn jɔs gɛt di prɔblɛm fɔ di wan dɛn we de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin. Wetin mek na dɛn nɔmɔ fɔ de insay di lɔ we de fɔ mared, we bɔku ɔda kayn rilayshɔnship dɛn de we de kɔmɔt nia di norm?
Wetin fɔ du if tu brɔda ɛn sista dɛn we rili lɛk dɛnsɛf, want fɔ gɛt apatmɛnt togɛda ɛn mɔ, ɛn ivin adopt jɔyn pikin? Wetin mek i fɔ at fɔ dɛn pas di wan dɛn we de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin? Na bikɔs lɔv de bitwin di las wan, bɔt nɔto bitwin di wan dɛn we bin dɔn de bifo, ɔ bitwin ɔda wan dɛn jɔs padi dɛn? ...Ɔl in ɔl, di rɛjista fɔ patnaship na soshal ivin ...If dɛn gi dis kayn chans to pipul dɛn we gɛt di sem sɛks, a stil nɔ ɔndastand wetin mek i fɔ jɔs de fɔ omoseksual pipul dɛn. Ɔ wi tink se ɔl pipul dɛn we gɛt di sem bɔdi, we de liv togɛda ɛn we gɛt tayt padi biznɛs wit dɛnsɛf, na omoseksual? Ɔ wi tink se omoseksualiti nɔ nid fɔ gɛt ɛnitin fɔ du wit mami ɛn dadi biznɛs... If wi tink se i fayn fɔ rɛjista omoseksual rileshɔnship, bɔt nɔto ɔda pipul dɛn, den di tru se na tin fɔ rɛjista sɛksual oriɛnteshɔn,
Bɔku pan di wan dɛn we de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin nɔ kin want fɔ mared . We dɛn dɔn de du mared we nɔ gɛt wanwɔd wit man ɛn uman, wan pan di men tin dɛn we dɛn dɔn tɔk bɔt na fɔ fɛt diskrimineshɔn ɛn nɔ ikwal. Dɛn bin dɔn tink se mared we nɔ gɛt wanwɔd wit man ɔ uman, usay man ɛn uman we de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit dɛnsɛf kin mared, go mek dɛn nɔ de trit dɛn kɔmpin dɛn bad. Bɔt di tru tin na dat, na dɛn kɔntri dɛn de usay dɛn dɔn de du mared we man ɛn uman we de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin fɔ lɔng tɛm, na smɔl pipul dɛn nɔmɔ dɔn want fɔ mared. Insay di Netherlands, mared we man ɛn uman kin mared fɔ tɛn ia, bɔt na 20% pan di wan dɛn we de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin kin mared. If yu kɔmpia am to wan wan pipul dɛn, di nɔmba ivin smɔl. Sɔm pipul dɛn se na 8% nɔmɔ pan di wan dɛn we de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin kin kam fɔ mared. Insay prɔsis, di nɔmba dɛn sho se na smɔl pipul dɛn nɔmɔ we de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit dɛnsɛf dɔn want fɔ mared. Bifo dat, di big big pat pan dɛn nɔ bin want (akɔdin to di sɔpɔta dɛn yon we fɔ tink) fɔ gɛt ikwal rayt ɛn fridɔm frɔm diskrimineshɔn.
STƐSHƆN FƆ PIKIN DƐN . As wi bin dɔn tɔk, mared we nɔ gɛt ɛnitin fɔ du wit man ɛn uman, na tin we rayt frɔm di we aw pipul dɛn de si ikwal rayt ɛn as sɔntin we gɛt fɔ du wit mɔtalman rayt. Dɛn dɔn ɛksplen se if dɛn gri wit dis tin, dat go pul di lɔ we nɔ rayt. Bɔt dɛn jɔs dɔn chɛk dis tɔpik frɔm di we aw big pipul dɛn de si tin ɛn dɛn dɔn fɔgɛt pikin dɛn. Di lɔ bɔt mared we nɔ de tek man ɔ uman, na fɔ tru, na tin we gɛt fɔ du wit mɔtalman rayt, bɔt i difrɛn frɔm wetin dɛn tɔk bɔt: i min se dɛn de pwɛl pikin dɛn mɔtalman rayt. Bikɔs insay dɛn kes dɛn we di wan dɛn we de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit dɛnsɛf kin want fɔ bɔn pikin dɛn (i pɔsibul, fɔ ɛgzampul, tru di sperm bank ɛn fɔ rɛnt di bɛlɛ ɔ se wan pan di omoseksual pipul dɛn dɔn de insay wan tɛmporari heteroseksual rilayshɔn), i min fɔ separet di pikin frɔm in biyolojikal papa ɔ mama frɔm we dɛn bɔn am jɔs bikɔs big pipul dɛn kin si mared we nɔ gɛt ɛnibɔdi fɔ du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs as dɛn rayt. So di lɔ bɔt mared we nɔ de tek man ɔ uman, de trit pikin dɛn difrɛn we pan ɔl we big pipul dɛn de sɔfa. Dɛn put di fridɔm we big pipul dɛn gɛt bifo di men rayt dɛn we pikin dɛn gɛt. Na tru se tin dɛn de we pikin fɔ gro ɔp we i nɔ gɛt papa ɔ mama, bɔt na difrɛn tin fɔ mek dɛn mek pikin nɔ gɛt papa ɔ mama bay wilful jɔs fɔ mek dɛn du wetin big pipul dɛn want. Dis na wetin kin apin na mared we nɔ gɛt wanwɔd usay dɛn kin gɛt pikin dɛn. Insay Frans, bɔku pipul dɛn we de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit dɛnsɛf dɔn tek di sem tin bɔt dis. Dɛn si se di lɔ we de fɔ mared we nɔ de tɔk bɔt man ɔ uman, de agens di rayt we di pikin gɛt fɔ gɛt papa ɛn mama. Dis na di rizin we mek dɛn nɔ gri fɔ mared we nɔ gɛt ɛnitin fɔ du wit man ɔ uman:
Jean-Pierre Delaume-Myard: Mi na omoseksual homophobe... A de agens jenda nyutral mared, bikɔs a de difend pikin in rayt fɔ gɛt papa ɛn mama. (11) .
Jean-Marc Veyron la Croix: Ɔlman gɛt wetin i nɔ ebul fɔ du: di tru se a nɔ gɛt pikin ɛn a mis pikin nɔ de gi mi rayt fɔ tek di lɔv we mama gɛt frɔm pikin. (12) .
Hervé Jourdan: Pikin na frut fɔ lɔv ɛn i fɔ de as di frut fɔ lɔv. (13) .
Fɔ bɔn pikin dɛn . We i kam pan heteroseksuɛl rilayshɔnship, dɛn gɛt wan big difrɛns we yu kɔmpia am wit di sem sɛks rilayshɔnship: na heteroseksuɛl rilayshɔn nɔmɔ kin bɔn pikin, di las wan nɔ kin bɔn pikin. Dis na wan pan di big rizin dɛn bak we mek man ɛn uman mared na di bɛst say fɔ bigin fɔ pikin dɛn. I de gi pikin dɛn di chans fɔ gro ɔp ɔnda di kia we dɛn biyolojikal papa ɛn mama de kia frɔm di biginin. Di prɔblɛm we de wit omoseksual rilayshɔnship, na dat if dɛn gɛt pikin dɛn tru tɛmporari heteroseksuɛl rileshɔnship ɔ tru atifishal we dɛn lɛk fɔ rɛnt bɛlɛ ɔ fɔ bank swɛt, i kin mek di pikin nɔ gɛt papa ɔ i nɔ gɛt mama. I de mis at le wan pan in biyolojikal mama ɛn papa na os, we i go gro wit. Di pikin gɛt fɔ liv witout in ɔda biyolojikal mama ɛn papa frɔm di biginin bikɔs di big pipul dɛn kin pik. Di wan dɛn we dɛnsɛf gro ɔp na famili we gɛt man ɛn uman we lɛk dɛnsɛf dɔn tɔk bad bɔt di we aw dɛn de mek pikin nɔ gɛt rayt fɔ gɛt papa ɔ mama dis kayn we; bay we dɛn de apil fɔ mek big pipul dɛn ikwal. Dɛn nɔ gɛt rayt fɔ gɛt ɛni wan pan dɛn mama ɛn papa. Jean-Dominique Bunel, we bin gro ɔp wit in lesbian mama ɛn in uman patna, tɔk bɔt aw i bin ɛkspiriɛns am. I bin sɔfa bikɔs i nɔ bin gɛt papa. Ɔdasay, i tɔk bak se if mared we nɔ gɛt ɛnitin fɔ du wit man ɔ uman bin dɔn ɔlrɛdi de we i bin de gro, i fɔ dɔn kɛr di stet go na kɔt, bikɔs i bin mek dɛn ebul fɔ pwɛl in pikin in rayt:
Di kɔmɛnt we de dɔŋ ya de tɔk bak bɔt dis prɔblɛm. We papa ɔ mama nɔ de na di rizin we mek i nɔ izi fɔ mek pikin dɛn gro ɔp na say usay dɛn de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin. I nɔto kwɛstyɔn if wan mama ɔ papa we de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin nɔ ebul fɔ mɛn pikin, bɔt na fɔ mek dɛn nɔ gɛt in ɔda mama ɔ papa we bɔn pikin wit wilful frɔm we dɛn bɔn am:
Rɔbɔt Ɔska Lɔpes (2012) kɔl di ritɔk we dɛn kin tɔk bɔt fɔ et man ɛn uman as pipul dɛn we nɔ lɛk ɔda pipul dɛn ɛn we nɔ gɛt wanwɔd, bikɔs i kin kɔl pipul dɛn lɛk am bak as pipul dɛn we nɔ lɛk man ɛn uman, we gro ɔp na lesbian man ɛn in wɛf dɛn os, liv bɔku pat pan dɛn layf na omoseksual kɔlchɔ, bɔt we stil de agens mared we nɔ gɛt ɛnitin fɔ du wit man ɔ uman bikɔs dɛn fil se i de agens di rayt we di pikin gɛt fɔ gɛt in papa ɛn mama. Akɔdin to Lɔpes, i at fɔ lɛ dɛn kɔl am as homophobic jɔs bikɔs i tɔk opin wan se i bin ɛkspiriɛns di lɔk fɔ papa as i at we i bin de gro ɔp na in mama ɛn in uman patna in os. "If wan man ɛn in wɛf we gɛt di sem sɛks de tray fɔ kɔpi di mɔdel fɔ mɛn pikin dɛn we gɛt difrɛn kɔlɔ dɛn tru surrogacy, artificial insemination, divorce, ɔ commercialized adopshɔn, dɛn de tek bɔku moral risk. Pikin dɛn, we de si dɛnsɛf na di midst fɔ dɛn moral risk ya, dɛn no gud gud wan bɔt di wok we dɛn mama ɛn papa de du fɔ mek dɛn gɛt strɛs ɛn kɔmpleks layf we de mek dɛn separet frɔm kɔlchɔ tradishɔn lɛk Papa ɛn Mama De. Di pozishɔn we pikin dɛn gɛt kin mek i nɔ izi, we dɛn kɔl dɛn ‘homophobic’ jɔs bikɔs dɛn de sɔfa wit – ɛn admit am – di natura strɛs we dɛn mama ɛn papa de put pan dɛn. (Lɔpez 2013.) (15) ɛn di ɔda wan dɛn.
we dεn gεt pikin dεm tru atifishal mεtכd dεm lεk fכ rεnt di uman in bεlε εn fכ bכn di sεl dεm, wi gεt fכ fכs bכku bכku prכblεm dεm we de apin to di bכdi. Di prɔblɛm we de wit di we aw dɛn de rɛnt di bɛlɛ na dat di mama fɔ lɛf di pikin we i de kɛr. Dɛn kin sɛt am as gol fɔ rɛnt di uterin. Dɛn kin op se i go stɔp di we aw i de fil bɔt di pikin ɛn dɛn kin pe am fɔ dat. I de sɛl in rayt to pikin we i nɔ go ɛva si igen. Bɔt fɔ bɔku pipul dɛn dis kin dɔn tu ebi bikɔs ɔf di kayn we aw dɛn kin bɔn pikin, ɛn na dat dɔn mek dɛn want fɔ dɔn di kɔntrakt fɔ mek dɛn nɔ bɔn pikin. Dɛn uman ya dɔn ɔndastand se dɛn lɛk di pikin we de insay dɛn, ɛn dis dɔn mek dɛn chenj dɛn maynd. Apat frɔm dat, fɔ rɛnt bɛlɛ na prɔblɛm fɔ pikin dɛn. Bikɔs we di mama giv ɔp in rayt fɔ di pikin, di pikin kin si am as pɔsin we dɔn lɛf am. Kwɛstyɔn dɛn kin kam fɔ am, wetin mek in mama sɛl am fɔ mɔni ɛn nɔ bisin bɔt am. Pan ɔda tin dɛn, Alana Newman in wɛbsayt we nem AnonymousUS.org de tɔk bɔt di tin dɛn we kin apin to dɛn kayn pikin dɛn ya ɛn aw dɛn kin fil. Frank Litgvoet, we de liv insay omoseksual rileshɔnship, tɔk ɔnɛs wan bɔt wan kes we fiba dis. I tɔk bɔt in adopt pikin dɛn we bin mis dɛn mama. I bin at ɛn i bin de mek di pikin dɛn fil pen fɔ ɔndastand wetin mek di mama lɛf in pikin dɛn fɔs:
Di tin we de apin to pikin we “nɔ gɛt mama” we dɛn de tek am na do nɔ simpul lɛk aw i kin tan lɛk, bikɔs i gɛt fɔ du wit di mama we de bɔn pikin, we kin kam na di pikin in layf ɛn afta dat i kin kɔmɔt. Ɛn we di mama nɔ de na di bɔdi, i stil de, as wi no frɔm di stori dɛn bɔt bɔku pikin dɛn we dɛn dɔn adopt we dɔn big, i de de na drim, imej, we i want, ɛn wɔri. Bɔku tɛm, we mama kam na wi pikin dɛn layf, na fayn tin. I kin at fɔ pikin dɛn we mama kɔmɔt, nɔto jɔs bikɔs i sɔri fɔ se gudbai to big pɔsin we i lɛk, bɔt i kin mek wi aks di kwɛstyɔn we nɔ izi ɛn we kin mek i fil pen bɔt wetin mek di mama lɛf in pikin fɔs. (16) .
Wetin bɔt di etiks fɔ di sperm bank ɛn di tritmɛnt fɔ fɛtilayzeshɔn? Dɛn de bays pan di tru tin se man dɛn dɔn volontia fɔ gi dɛn sperm fɔ insemination, so dɛn man ya nɔ go rili gɛt fɔ sɔfa di sem tranga filin we kin apin we dɛn rɛnt di uterus. Bɔt di prɔblɛm wit di tritmɛnt fɔ bɔn pikin na dat dɛn kin mek pikin dɛn lod wit di lod we dɛn kin gɛt we dɛn nɔ gɛt papa. Pikin dɛn we dɛn mek wit atifishinal kin fil bad bad wan if di mama dɔn mek dɛn put dɛn na say we dɛn nɔ go ebul fɔ no ɛn gɛt kɔntakt wit dɛn papa bay wilful. Tapio Puolimatka de tɔk bɔt di risach we di Yale Yunivasiti saykayatrist Kyle Pruett bin du pan dis tɔpik (Kyle Pruett: Fatherneed, New York, Broadway, 2000). I at fɔ mek pikin dɛn liv na wan kayn intamɛdiet stet we nɔ gɛt rilayshɔn wit dɛn biyolojikal papa:
Yale Yunivasiti saykayatrist Kyle Pruett (2000: 207) kכnklud bays pan in risεch se pikin dεm we dεn bכn as a rizulεt fכ atifishal inseminεshכn εn we dεn mɛn witout papa gεt insatiable "angri fכ di pεrmanεnt prεsεns fכ dεn papa". Di risach we i du gri wit di stɔdi dɛn we dɛn dɔn du bɔt dayvɔs ɛn fɔ bi mama ɔ papa we nɔ mared, we de sho se di sem kayn we aw dɛn nɔ de bi papa. di risach we Pruett du sho bak se pikin dεm we dεn bכn as a rizulכt fכ atifishal inseminεshכn, we nכ gεt nכ infכmeshכn bכt dεn papa, gεt dip εn disturbכn kכwεshכn dεm bכt dεn bayolojikal כrijin εn di famili we dεn biyolojikal dεscended frכm. Dɛn pikin ya nɔ no dɛn papa ɔ dɛn papa in famili, ɛn i nɔ fayn fɔ dɛn fɔ liv na wan kayn in-bitwin stet we nɔ gɛt rilayshɔn wit dɛn biyolojikal papa (Pruett 2000:204-208) (17)
Alana Newman kɔntinyu fɔ tɔk bɔt di sem tɔpik. Dɛn bɔn insɛf bay we dɛn mek am wit atifishal insemination, we dɛn kin yuz swɛlin frɔm pɔsin we nɔ no in nem. I rili agens di prɔsis we dɛn nɔ de gi pikin di chans fɔ mek padi biznɛs wit in yon mama ɛn papa we bɔn am ɛn gro ɔp usay dɛn de kia fɔ am. As a rizulyt of in own expiriens, ih bi sofa wit aydentiti problem en hat to di opozit sex. Insay di tɛstimoni we i rayt to di Kalifonia Lijislɛshɔn, i rayt bɔt dis tɔpik:
... A bin de sɔfa wit aydentiti ishu dɛm we bin de ɔndamin mi mental balans, mistrust ɛn et to di ɔpɔzit sɛks, filin fɔ se dɛn de ɔbjɛkt mi – lɛk se a de jɔs as ɔda pɔsin in pletin. A bin fil lɛk se a na sayɛns ɛkspiriɛns. (18) .
Di impɔtant tin we mama ɛn papa dɛn gɛt fɔ pikin dɛn . Bɔku tɛm, tɛlivishɔn program ɛn nyuspepa atikul dɛn kin tɔk bɔt aw pikin dɛn want fɔ fɛn di mama ɔ papa we dɛn bɔn we dɛn nɔ ɛva mit ɛn we dɔn lɔs na dɛn layf. Dɛn kin want fɔ fɛn dɛn yon rut ɛn fɔ mit di biyolojikal papa ɔ mama we nɔ de pan dɛn. Dis dɔn bi mɔ ɛn mɔ kɔmɔn tide, ɛgz., bikɔs ɔf di bɔku bɔku pipul dɛn we de dayvɔs. Frɔm di we aw di pikin de si am, di tru tin se di mama ɛn papa dɛn ɔl tu de de ɛn dɛn bisin bɔt dɛnsɛf rili impɔtant. Dis kin kɔmɔt bak pan bɔku prɛktikal layf ɔbshɔbishɔn dɛn. Dɛn pikin dɛn we dɛn rilayshɔn wit dɛn mama ɛn papa dɔn pwɛl, ɛgz., bikɔs dɛn dɔn drink rɔm, fɛt fɛt ɔ ɔdinari dayvɔs, kin gɛt bɔku prɔblɛm dɛn na dɛn layf we nɔ kin apin so ɔltɛm fɔ pikin dɛn we mɛn na famili we nɔ gɛt wan prɔblɛm. Wan smɔl ɛgzampul we go ɛp wi de sho dis. I sho aw mɔ fɔ nɔ gɛt papa, we nɔ gɛt papa na os, na prɔblɛm tide:
We a bin de tɔk na wan patikyula man dɛn kamp na Hume Lake insay Kalifonia, a bin tɔk se di avrej papa kin spɛn tri minit nɔmɔ fɔ gɛt kwaliti tɛm wit in pikin ɛvride. Afta di mitin, wan man aks mi infɔmeshɔn. I bin kɔl am se, "Una we de prich de tɔk tin nɔmɔ. Frɔm di las risach, di avrej papa nɔ de spɛn ivin tri minit ɛvride wit in pikin dɛn, bɔt i de spɛn 35 sɛkɔn ." A biliv am bikɔs i bin de wok as skul inspɛkta na sɛntral Kalifonia. Fɔ tru, i bin gi mi wan ɔda statystik we bin mek a sɔprayz. Insay wan patikyula skul distrikt na Kalifonia, na bin 483 studɛnt dɛn we bin de lan spɛshal edyukeshɔn. Nɔn pan dɛn studɛnt dɛn de nɔ bin gɛt papa na os. Na wan patikyula eria na di ɔdasay na Siti, 61% pan di pikin dɛn de liv we nɔ gɛt papa. Di absɛns fɔ papa na swɛ tide. (19) .
Aw dis gɛt sɔntin fɔ du wit di tɔpik we wi de tɔk bɔt? Fɔ tɔk smɔl, di prɛzɛns fɔ di tu biyolojikal mama ɛn papa, di mama ɛn papa fɔ lɛk dɛnsɛf ɛn, fɔ tru, fɔ di pikin impɔtant fɔ di pikin in wɛlbɔdi ɛn divɛlɔpmɛnt. Plɛnti risach de we sho se pikin de gro ɛn divɛlɔp bɛtɛ if dɛn alaw am fɔ de wit in yon mama ɛn papa we bɔn am na famili we nɔ gɛt bɔku cham-mɔt. If di kɔmpiashɔn pɔynt na pikin dɛm, we dɔn ɛkspiriɛns divɔs we dɛn mama ɛn papa gɛt ɔ famili we mama ɔ papa nɔmɔ gɛt, nyu famili ɛn rilayshɔnship we dɛn de liv togɛda, dɛn dɔn si se dɛn na ɔda we we wɔs pas ɔl we i kam pan di pikin dɛn divɛlɔpmɛnt. Insay omoseksual rilayshɔnship, di prɔblɛm kin ivin big (if dɛn gɛt pikin dɛn tru tɛmporari heteroseksual rilayshɔnship ɔ tru atifishal we dɛn), . bikɔs insay dɛn di pikin kin separet frɔm at le wan mama ɔ papa frɔm di biginin fɔ in layf. Fɔ tru, i nɔto fayn tin fɔ pikin dɛn, lɛk aw wi dɔn tɔk ɔp. Sɔm kɔmɛnt dɛn de sho aw i impɔtant fɔ gɛt ɔl tu di mama ɛn papa dɛn we dɛn bɔn na di famili. Pɔsin we de plan fɔ dayvɔs in man ɔ in wɛf fɔ tink tumɔs. Na tru se no mama ɔ papa nɔ pafɛkt, ɛn sɔntɛnde, i kin nid fɔ liv apat bikɔs ɔf, fɔ ɛgzampul, fɛt-fɛt. Bɔt fɔ di pikin dɛn, di bɛst tin we dɛn go du na fɔ mek di mama ɛn papa kam togɛda ɛn lan fɔ gri wit dɛnsɛf:
Risach dɔn sho klia wan se di we aw di famili tan impɔtant fɔ pikin dɛn ɛn di we aw di famili de sɔpɔt dɛn bɛtɛ pas ɔl, we gɛt tu mama ɛn papa dɛn we dɛn bɔn na di mared we de bifo di famili, ɛn we di mama ɛn papa dɛn nɔ gɛt cham-mɔt nɔ bɔku. Pikin dɛn we de na famili we gɛt mama ɔ papa nɔmɔ, pikin dɛn we mama we nɔ mared bɔn, ɛn pikin dɛn we de na famili we blend ɔ we de liv togɛda, kin gɛt mɔ risk fɔ divɛlɔp na bad say... Na dat mek i impɔtant, fɔ di pikin, fɔ mek dɛn gɛt strɔng ɛn stebul mared bitwin mama ɛn papa dɛn we dɛn bɔn. (21) .
If dɛn aks wi fɔ disayn wan sistɛm fɔ mek shɔ se dɛn de kia fɔ ɔl di tin dɛn we pikin dɛn nid, sɔntɛm wi go dɔn sɔmsay, we fiba di fayn we aw dɛn kin gɛt tu mama ɛn papa. Insay tiori, dis kayn plan nɔ de jɔs mek shɔ se di pikin dɛn gɛt tu big pipul dɛn tɛm ɛn tin dɛn, i de gi dɛn bak wan kɔntrol ɛn balans sistɛm, we de mek dɛn bi ay klas mama ɛn papa. Di mama ɛn papa ɔl tu in biyolojikal rilayshɔn wit di pikin de mek di prɔbabiliti fɔ mek di mama ɛn papa ebul fɔ no dɛnsɛf wit di pikin ɛn rɛdi fɔ mek sakrifays fɔ di pikin. I de mek bak di chans fɔ mek di mama ɛn papa yuz di pikin bad bad wan. (22) .
Dɛn dɔn sho klia wan se pikin dɛn nɔ de gro fayn, pan ɔl we dɛn de kia fɔ dɛn fayn fayn wan if dɛn de kip dɛn na say dɛn we nɔ gɛt pɔsin, ɛn we dɛn separet frɔm di mama – mɔ pan sɔm tɛm dɛn – kin rili pwɛl di pikin. Tipik implikashɔn dɛm fɔ institiushɔn kia na mental retardation, indifference, regressing ɛn ivin day, we inɔf sɔrogɛt mama nɔ de. (23) .
As wi bin dɔn tɔk, dɛn dɔn si se di impɔtant tin we mama ɛn papa dɛn ɔl tu impɔtant na pikin dɛn layf rili impɔtant. Dis kin pruv bay prɛktikal ɛkspiriɛns ɛn bɔku stɔdi dɛn. Mama ɔ papa we nɔ mared kin bi ɛgzampul fɔ di wok we dɛn de du as mama ɔ papa, bɔt dat nɔ de tek di ples fɔ di mama ɔ papa we nɔ gɛt di sem bɔdi. Akɔdin to risach, pikin dɛm we gro ɔp na famili we brok (famili we mama ɔ papa nɔmɔ gɛt, nyu famili...) gɛt mɔ pan dɛn kayn prɔblɛm ya. Dɛn de sho aw i impɔtant fɔ lɛ dɛn tu mama ɛn papa dɛn ɔl tu de de wit lɔv:
• SMƆL TƆK: Ɛdyukeshɔn lɛvɛl ɛn skul gradyueshɔn rɛt smɔl
• SMƆL TƆK: Bɔku tɛm, dɛn kin drɛb bɔy pikin dɛn we nɔ gɛt papa fɔ go na di rod fɔ fɛt-fɛt ɛn kraym
• SMƆL TƆK: Dɛn kin gɛt prɔblɛm wit dɛn filin, pwɛl hat ɛn fɔ tray fɔ kil dɛnsɛf kin bɔku pan pikin dɛm wae nɔr gɛt dɛn mama ɛn papa ɔl tu na di famili
• SMƆL TƆK: Di yus fɔ drɔgs ɛn rɔm kin bɔku
• SMƆL TƆK: Di pikin dɛn we gɛt bɛlɛ ɛn we dɛn de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit pikin dɛn kin bɔku
Aw pikin dɛn we man ɛn uman we de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin mɛn, de na dis say? Fɔ tɔk smɔl, dɛn gɛt di sem prɔblɛm dɛn we ɔda pikin dɛn kin gɛt we dɛn kin gɛt prɔblɛm wit dɛn famili. Di tebul we de kam biɛn ya, we gɛt fɔ du wit di risach we di Australian Sotirios Sarantokis bin du pan di tɔpik (22), de gi sɔm tin dɛn we de sho di tɔpik. Di stɔdi we i bin pripia insay 1996 na bin di big wan we kɔmpia di pikin dɛn divɛlɔpmɛnt rizɔlt te to di ia 2000. Di stɔdi bin tek kɔnt ɔf di we aw mama ɛn papa dɛn yon asɛsmɛnt, di skul rizɔlt ɛn di ticha dɛn asɛsmɛnt fɔ di pikin dɛn divɛlɔpmɛnt:
Wan ɔda stɔdi we tan lɛk dis, na wan prɔfɛsɔ we nem Mak Rɛgnɛrɔs we de stɔdi bɔt pipul dɛn layf, bin du am. I bin chɛk di ifɛkt we famili strɔkchɔ gɛt pan pikin dɛn. Di bɛnifit we di stɔdi bin gɛt na dat, dɛn bin tek am bay we dɛn tek random sampling ɛn wan big sampul (15,000 yɔŋ pipul dɛn na Amɛrika). Apat frɔm dat, dɛn bin mek di sampul bɔku bay we dɛn bin put os dɛn we wan pan di big pipul dɛn bin dɔn de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pipul dɛn sɔntɛnde. Dɛn bin pul di stɔdi na Social Science Research, we na di tɔp soshiɔlɔji pɔblikeshɔn. Dis stכdi sho se pikin dεm we man εn uman we de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pipul dɛn gɛt mɔ prɔblɛm wit dɛn filin ɛn soshal prɔblɛm pas pikin dɛn we gro ɔp wit dɛn tu mama ɛn papa dɛn we na dɛn mama ɛn papa. Rɔbɔt Ɔska Lɔpes, we insɛf bin gro ɔp wit wan mama we lɛk uman ɛn in uman patna, bin tɔk bɔt di risach we Rɛgnɔs bin du:
Risach we Regnerus bin du sho se 248 big pikin dɛn we dɛn mama ɛn papa bin gɛt lɔv wit pɔsin we gɛt di sem sɛks. We dɛn bin gi dɛn big pikin ya di chans fɔ asɛs dɛn pikin tɛm tru tru wan bak frɔm di we aw dɛn bin de si dɛn we dɛn dɔn big, dɛn bin gi ansa dɛn we nɔ bin fit fayn wit di ikwal klem we de insay di mared ajenda we nɔ gɛt wanwɔd wit wɛda man ɔ uman. Bɔt dɛn tin ya we kin apin kin sɔpɔt sɔntin we impɔtant na layf, dat na kɔmɔn sɛns: I nɔ kin izi fɔ mek dɛn gro difrɛn frɔm ɔda pipul dɛn, ɛn dɛn prɔblɛm ya kin mek pikin dɛn gɛt prɔblɛm fɔ ajɔst ɛn dɛn go mɛn dɛnsɛf wit rɔm ɛn ɔda kayn we dɛn fɔ biev we de mek pɔsin denja. Wi nɔ gɛt wan dawt fɔ se ɛni wan pan dɛn 248 pipul dɛn de we dɛn intavyu gɛt in yon mɔtalman stori wit bɔku bɔku tin dɛn we kin mek i nɔ izi. Lɛk mi yon stori, . di stori dɛm fɔ dɛn 248 pipul ya fayn fɔ tɛl. Di omoseksual muvmɛnt de du ɔl wetin dɛn ebul fɔ mek shɔ se nɔbɔdi nɔ lisin to dɛn. (25) .
Wi nɔ fɔ sɔprayz fɔ si se di pikin dɛn we man ɛn uman we de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit dɛnsɛf kin gɛt prɔblɛm. Na di sem tin kin apin to ɔl pikin dɛn we kɔmɔt na os dɛn we dɔn brok. Dɛn gɛt bɔku prɔblɛm dɛn na dɛn layf pas pikin dɛn we dɔn gɛt di ɔnɔ fɔ gro wit famili we nɔ gɛt wan prɔblɛm. Apat frɔm dat, omoseksual kɔlchɔ na prɔblɛm fɔ pikin dɛn, ɛgz., fɔ dɛn rizin ya. Dɛn kin briŋ instability na pikin dɛn layf:
• SMƆL TƆK: Gay pipul dɛn gɛt mɔ lɔs rilayshɔnship. Dis na tru mɔ fɔ man dɛn we de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin, we akɔdin to wan stɔdi (Mercer et al 2009) gɛt fayv tɛm mɔ mami ɛn dadi biznɛs pas man dɛn we de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin.
• SMƆL TƆK: Di uman dɛn we de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit dɛnsɛf kin gɛt shɔt rilayshɔnship. Dɛn dɔn si se di difrɛns pasɛnt pan uman mared pipul dɛn rili ay pas di wan we man mared pipul dɛn gɛt. Pantap dat, we yu kɔmpia di mared pipul dɛn we gɛt difrɛn kɔlɔ, di difrɛns pasɛnt dɛn rili ay. Dis kin briŋ bak instability na pikin dɛn layf.
• SMƆL TƆK: We di mared pipul dɛn we de tɔn to ɔda pipul dɛn bɔku ɛn at le wan pan di big pipul dɛn nɔto di pikin in yon mama ɔ papa, di risk fɔ mek dɛn du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit am kin bɔku. Wan stɔdi we Regnerus bin du sho se na 2% pan di pikin dɛn nɔmɔ we dɛn biyolojikal papa ɛn mama mɛn se dɛn dɔn tɔch dɛn wit mami ɛn dadi biznɛs, we 23% pan di pikin dɛn we dɛn mama we lɛk uman we lɛk dɛnsɛf mɛn dɛn se dɛn dɔn ɛkspiriɛns di sem tin. Di sem tin nɔ bin de apin to man dɛn we de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit dɛnsɛf pas uman dɛn we mared.
• SMƆL TƆK: As wi no, bɔku pipul dɛn we de fɛt fɔ di omoseksual muvmɛnt dɔn agens ɛn tɔk bad bɔt dɛn kayn tin ya usay pipul dɛn kin want fɔ pul di omoseksual layf bay dɛnsɛf. Dɛn dɔn atak am se i de ambɔg am. Bɔt di layf we bɔku pipul dɛn we de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit dɛnsɛf kin rili bad ɛn i kin gɛt prɔblɛm bikɔs ɔf bɔku mami ɛn dadi biznɛs. Na man dɛn mɔ kin gɛt bɔku sik dɛn we dɛn kin gɛt we dɛn de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs ɛn ɔda sik dɛn we kin kɔmɔt frɔm wan pɔsin to ɔda pɔsin. Pan ɔda tin dɛn, AIDS na prɔblɛm. Dis kin mek dɛn yon layf shɔt bad bad wan, bɔt i kin tek ɔda mama ɔ papa bak frɔm di pikin. Dis kin mek bak pikin dɛn layf nɔ kin chenj. Di kot we de kam biɛn ya de tɛl mɔ bɔt di tɔpik. Na wan stɔdi we Dɔktɔ Rɔbɔt S. Hɔg bin lid. In grup bin gɛda data bɔt gay ɛn bayseksual man dɛn na di Vankuv eria frɔm 1987-1992. Di stɔdi bin luk pan di ifɛkt we sik kin gɛt, nɔto di we aw i kin biev, pan di avɛrej layf we pɔsin kin liv. Bɔt gud tin na dat, dɛn dɔn mek vaysin dɛn frɔm trade trade, .
Di prɔbabiliti fɔ bi ɛn omoseksual man fɔ liv frɔm 20 ia to 65 ia bin difrɛn bitwin 32 ɛn 59 pasɛnt. Dɛn nɔmba ya rili smɔl pas ɔda man dɛn injɔnal, we bin gɛt 78 pasɛnt chans fɔ liv frɔm 20 ia to 65. Fɔ dɔn: Insay wan big siti na Kanada, di layf we gay ɛn bayseksual man dɛn we ol 20 ia kin liv na 8-20 ia smɔl pas di wan we ɔda man dɛn gɛt. If di sem tin we de apin we pipul dɛn de day go kɔntinyu, akɔdin to wi ɛstimat, lɛk af pan gay ɛn bayseksual man dɛn we dɔn pas 20 ia naw nɔ go rich dɛn batde we ol 65 ia. Ivin bay di asɔmpshɔn dɛn we rili fri, gay ɛn bayseksual man dɛn na dis ɔban sɛnta naw gɛt layf we ikwal to ɔl man dɛn na Kanada insay 1871. (26)
AW PIPUL DƐN DE RIACT TO DIS? As wi bin dɔn tɔk, mama ɔ papa we nɔ mared to in pikin kin du in bɛst pan in wok as mama ɔ papa ɛn tray fɔ bi gud mama ɔ papa to in pikin. Yu nɔ go ebul fɔ dinay dat. Bɔt, na tru bak se di we aw di famili tan impɔtant. Bɔku stɔdi dɛn, prɛktikal layf ɛkspiriɛns ɛn kɔmɔn sɛns sho se i bɛtɛ fɔ mek pikin dɛn gro ɔp na di kɔmni ɛn kia fɔ dɛn yon mama ɛn papa we bɔn wit lɔv. Na tru se dis nɔ kin apin pafɛkt wan ɔltɛm bikɔs di mama ɛn papa gɛt fɔlt, bɔt in jɔnal, dɛn dɔn si se pikin dɛn kin du bɛtɛ if dɛn tu mama ɛn papa we na dɛn mama ɛn papa de de. So aw di wan dɛn we de sɔpɔt mared we nɔ gɛt ɛnitin fɔ du wit wɛda man ɔ uman kin biev we dɛn kam to dis infɔmeshɔn, ɔ if i de mek pipul dɛn aks kwɛstyɔn bɔt di we aw dɛn de liv dɛn layf we lɛk dɛnsɛf? I kin sho as dɛn tin ya we de apin:
Dɛn kin aks pipul dɛn se dɛn nɔ lɛk dɛn kɔmpin dɛn ɛn dɛn kin et ɔda pipul dɛn . Bɔku pipul dɛn kin tɔk dis, bɔt dɛn nɔ kin tink se ilɛksɛf wi nɔ gri pan tin, dat nɔ min se wi fɔ et di ɔda pɔsin. Di wan dɛn we de mek di agyumɛnt nɔ go ebul fɔ no di we aw di ɔda pɔsin de tink insay ɛn dɛn nɔ go ɔndastand se pan ɔl we dɛn nɔ gri, dɛn kin lɛk di ɔda pɔsin, ɔ at ɔl tray fɔ lɛk am. Wi fɔ ɔndastand dis difrɛns. Bɔt i kɔmɔn fɔ mek di wan dɛn we de sɔpɔt mared we nɔ gɛt wanwɔd wit wɛda man ɔ uman, de tɔk bad bɔt pipul dɛn we de si tin difrɛn we pas dɛn. Pan ɔl we dɛn se dɛn tinap fɔ lɔv, dɛn nɔ de du wetin dɛn se. If yusɛf na pɔsin we de tɔk bad bɔt pɔsin da kayn we de, wetin yu go gɛt frɔm am ɔ if ɔlman gri wit yu fɔ di we aw yu de liv yu layf?
Akyuz fɔ blem. Bifo dis tɛm dɛn bin dɔn tɔk bɔt aw di famili strɔkchɔ impɔtant fɔ mek pikin dɛn gɛt wɛlbɔdi. Dɛn dɔn si se titi dɛn we gɛt bɛlɛ, kraym, we dɛn de yuz sɔbstans ɛn prɔblɛm wit dɛn maynd kin bɔku na famili dɛn usay at le wan pan di mama ɛn papa we dɛn bɔn am nɔ de. Dis kin gɛt impak bak pan mɔni biznɛs, as di sosayti in soshal kɔst dɛn kin go ɔp. Fɔ ɛgzampul, wan stɔdi we dɛn du na USA insay 2008 sho se divɔs ɛn pikin dɛn we dɛn bɔn we dɛn nɔ mared, kin kɔst di wan dɛn we de pe taks 112 bilyɔn dɔla ɛvri ia (Girgis et al 2012:46). Semweso, Etelä-Suomen sanomat bin ripɔt Ɔktoba 31, 2010: I nɔ go te igen di institiushɔnal kia fɔ pikin ɛn yɔŋ pipul dɛn go kɔst wan bilyan, Pikin dɛn prɔblɛm dɔn wɔs bad bad wan frɔm di fɔs 1990s... Institiushɔnal kia fɔ wan pikin de kɔst te to 100,000 yuro fɔ wan ia .... Apat frɔm dat, Aamulehti bin ripɔt Mach 3, 2013: Wan yɔŋ pɔsin we dɛn nɔ de tek mek natin, de kɔst 1.8 milyɔn. If dɛn briŋ ivin wan bak na di sosayti, di rizɔlt na fayn tin. Aw ɔda pipul dɛn kin biev we dɛn tɛl dɛn dis infɔmeshɔn? Dɛn kin tɔk se naw dɛn de blem mama ɛn papa dɛn we nɔ mared, mama ɛn papa dɛn we de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin ɔ di wan dɛn we nɔ ebul fɔ mared. Bɔt, yu nɔ nid fɔ luk am frɔm da say de. Jɔs lɛk dat, ɔlman kin tink bɔt aw dɛn go fiks tin dɛn fɔ mek dɛn bɛtɛ. If sɔmbɔdi de plan, fɔ ɛgzampul, fɔ lɛf in man ɔ in wɛf ɛn in famili, i fɔ tink tumɔs, bikɔs i kin rili afɛkt di pikin dɛn ɛn dɛn tumara bambay. (Na so ɔltɛm na pikin dɛn we dɔn si ɛn gɛt fɛt-fɛt we dɛn dɔn bɔku tɛm kin gɛt we dɛn mama ɛn papa separate as rilif.) Ɔ if man we de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin we de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin de plan fɔ bɔn pikin tru atifishal we dɛn, i fɔ tink bɔt aw di pikin de fil se i nɔ gɛt papa ɔ we i nɔ gɛt pikin ɔ wan mama. Infɔmeshɔn bɔt aw famili strɔkchɔ impɔtant fɔ pikin dɛn, tan lɛk infɔmeshɔn bɔt di bɛnifit dɛn we pɔsin kin gɛt we i de du ɛksɛsayz ɔ di denja dɛn we pɔsin kin gɛt we i smok fɔ gɛt wɛlbɔdi. Dis infɔmeshɔn de, bɔt nɔto ɔlman de riak to am. Bɔt if wi fala di tin dɛn we ɔlman gɛt, dat go mek wi bɔdi gɛt wɛlbɔdi.
"Trash risach" . Pan ɔl we prɛktikal sɛns ɛn ɛvride layf ɛkspiriɛns de sɔpɔt se i fayn fɔ pikin dɛn if dɛn alaw dɛn fɔ gro ɔp na di famili we dɛn ɔl tu gɛt dɛn mama ɛn papa, sɔm pan di wan dɛn we rili sɔpɔt mared we nɔ gɛt ɛnitin fɔ du wit wɛda man ɔ uman kin tray fɔ dinay dis. Dɛn kin tɔk se fɔ de wit in mama ɔ papa we na in mama ɔ papa nɔ impɔtant, bɔt ɔda big pɔsin kin tek di ples fɔ di mama ɔ papa we dɔn mis. Na ya dɛn tɔk bɔt patikyula stɔdi dɛn we de sho se dis na tru. pan di sem tεm, dεn εksplen se כl di infכmeshכn dεm we bin de bifo bכt di minin fכ famili strכkchכ na "junk risach" εn infכmeshכn we nכ de fכ sayɛns. Na dat mek dɛn tink se dɛn fɔ rijɛkt am. Bɔt if yu luk di stɔdi dɛn we di wan dɛn we de sɔpɔt mared we nɔ gɛt ɛnitin fɔ du wit man ɛn uman de tɔk bɔt, dɛn kin lɛk fɔ mit di mak dɛn we de sho di tin dɛn we nɔ rayt na sayɛns. Di rizin na ɛgz., dɛn tin ya:
Di sampul fɔ di stɔdi dɛn smɔl , pan avɛj na 30-60 pipul dɛn nɔmɔ we dɛn intavyu. Smɔl sampul saiz nɔ kin gi statistically signifyant rizɔlt. Fɔ mek dɛn ebul fɔ mek jenɛralizeshɔn, di sampul saiz fɔ bi bɔku bɔku wan.
Kɔmpia grup dɛn nɔ de ɔ dɛn na famili dɛn we dɔn brok. Di prɔblɛm wit bɔku stɔdi na dat dɛn nɔ gɛt kɔmpiashɔn grup fɔ mared pipul dɛn we gɛt difrɛn sɛks atɔl. Ɔ if kɔmpia grup de, bɔku tɛm na famili we gɛt mama ɔ papa nɔmɔ, we dɛn dɔn mek bak ɔ we de liv togɛda. Mared we mama ɛn papa we bɔn, we dɛn no se na di wan we fayn pas ɔl fɔ mek pikin dɛn gro, dɛn nɔ kin yuz dɛn as grup we dɛn kin kɔmpia. Dɛn bin dɔn tɔk bifo tɛm se pikin dɛn we de na famili we dɔn brok gɛt mɔ prɔblɛm dɛn.
Frɔm di 59 stɔdi dɛn we APA yuz, 26 nɔ bin gɛt kɔmpiashɔn grup we gɛt kɔpl dɛn we gɛt difrɛn jɛnɛral atɔl. 33 stɔdi dɛn bin gɛt da kayn kɔmpiashɔn grup de, bɔt insay 13 stɔdi dɛn di kɔmpiashɔn grup na bin famili dɛn we gɛt wan mama ɔ papa. Insay di ɔda 20 stɔdi dɛn, i nɔ klia if di kɔmpiashɔn grup na mama ɔ papa we nɔ mared, man ɛn in wɛf we de liv togɛda, nyu famili ɔ mared we di pikin in mama ɛn papa we bɔn. Dis dɛfisiɛns nɔmɔ de mek jenɛralizeshɔn prɔblɛm, bikɔs Brown (2004: 364) tɔk insay in stɔdi we i analayz 35,938 Amɛrikin pikin dɛn ɛn dɛn mama ɛn papa se ilɛksɛf dɛn gɛt mɔni ɛn aw fɔ mɛn pikin dɛn, yɔŋ pipul dɛn (12-17 ia ol) kin gɛt smɔl autkam na famili dɛn we gɛt man ɛn uman we de liv togɛda pas na famili dɛn we gɛt tu mama ɛn papa we mared. (27) .
Nɔ random sampling ɛn awareness fɔ di impɔtants fɔ intavyu . We di sampul dɛn smɔl, wan ɔda prɔblɛm na dat sɔm pan dɛn nɔ de bays pan random sampling, bɔt dɛn kin tek di wan dɛn we dɛn intavyu frɔm aktivist fɔm dɛn. Di wan dɛn we dɛn intavyu kin no di pɔlitikal minin fɔ di risach ɛn dat mek dɛn kin gi "aprɔpriet" ansa. Apat frɔm dat, udat want fɔ tɛl negatif bɔt di wɛlbɔdi fɔ dɛn yon pikin ɔ pikin bɔt in mama ɛn papa, we i nid fɔ gri wit? Insay dis sɛns, sɔm stɔdi dɛn we dɛn dɔn du pan dis wok de mɛmba wi bɔt stɔdi dɛn we Alfrɛd Kinsi bin dɔn pripia bɔku bɔku ia bifo dis tɛm. Dɛn nɔ bin biys pan random sampling, bɔt wan impɔtant pat pan Kinsey in risach rizɔlt kɔmɔt frɔm sɛks ɔfɛnsɔ, repist, pimp, pedofil, kɔstɔma dɛn na gay ba ɛn ɔda pipul dɛn we nɔ de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pipul dɛn. Dɛn bin tɔk se di rizɔlt dɛn we Kinsey bin gɛt na di avɛrej Amɛrikin, bɔt di stɔdi dɛn we dɛn bin du afta dat dɔn gi difrɛn rizɔlt dɛn ɔl ɛn dɛn nɔ gri wit di infɔmeshɔn we Kinsey bin gi. Dɔktɔ Judit Reisman dɔn rayt bɔt dis tɔpik insay in buk we gɛt pawa we nem "Kinsey: Crimes & Consequences" (1998).
Fɔ fɛn rizin? We dɛn bin dɔn mek fɔ pwɛl bɛlɛ ligal wan, dɛn bin tɔk se bɔku bɔku pipul dɛn kin pwɛl bɛlɛ we nɔ rayt. Fɔ ɛgzampul, dɛn bin tɔk se 30,000 pipul dɛn we de pwɛl bɛlɛ we nɔ rayt na Finland ɛvri ia, pan ɔl we afta dɛn chenj di lɔ, di nɔmba dɛn bin jɔs setul lɛk 10,000. Wetin bin mek dɛn kayn big big difrɛns dɛn de? Sɔm pipul dɛn we de sɔpɔt fɔ pwɛl bɛlɛ dɔn gri opin wan afta dat se dɛn bin ɛgzajarayt di nɔmba dɛn fɔ mek dɛn go mek di wan dɛn we de mek lɔ ɛn di pipul dɛn tink. Wan kin aks if di sem kayn gol ɔriɛnteshɔn de pan bɔku stɔdi dɛn we gɛt fɔ du wit mared we nɔ de tek man ɔ uman. Sɔm pipul dɛn dɔn gri se dɛn kayn gol dɛn de dɔn apin. Risach pipul dεm nכ bin ignore di klia difrεns dεm we dεn kin si biכs dεn bin want fכ sho se famili strכkchכ nכ rili impɔtant to pikin dεm divεlכpmεnt. Di kɔmɛnt we de dɔŋ ya de tɔk bɔt dis:
Stacey ɛn Biblarz (2001: 162) admit se bikɔs di wan dɛn we de du risach bin want fɔ sho se di we aw man ɛn uman we de du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs di we aw Gɔd nɔ want fɔ mɛn pikin dɛn fayn lɛk aw man ɛn uman we gɛt difrɛn kɔlɔ fɔ mɛn pikin dɛn, di wan dɛn we de du risach we gɛt sɛnsitiv tin dɛn kin tek tɛm trit di difrɛns bitwin dɛn famili fɔm ya. In ɔda wɔd, pan ɔl we di wan dɛn we de stɔdi bɔt dis bin rili si se difrɛns de pan aw fɔ mɛn big pipul dɛn we de liv togɛda, dɛn nɔ bin pe atɛnshɔn to dɛn, dɛn nɔ bin tek dɛn impɔtant tin, ɔ dɛn nɔ bin du mɔ risach bɔt di difrɛns dɛn. Di mami ɛn dadi biznɛs we di mama ɛn papa bin gɛt bin afɛkt dɛn pikin dɛn pas wetin di wan dɛn we du di risach bin mɛn (Stacey & Biblarz 2001: 167). (28) .
Wi no bak se na sɔm risach pipul dɛn de du bɔku pan di risach. Sɔntɛnde, dɛn dɔn wok togɛda. Dɔn bak, sɔm pan dɛn gɛt omoseksual bakgrɔn ɔ dɛn kin sɔpɔt mared we nɔ gɛt ɛnitin fɔ du wit man ɔ uman. Dis na bad tin fɔ mek dɛn du risach we nɔ gɛt wanwɔd.
Di impak we di we aw wan wan risach pipul dɛn de si tin, de mɔna bikɔs sɔm risach pipul dɛn dɔn du big pat pan di 60 stɔdi dɛn we dɛn de tɔk bɔt. Charlotte J. Patterson na kɔ-ɔda fɔ twɛlv pan dɛn 60 stɔdi dɛn de, Henny Bos na nayn, Nanette Gartrell na sɛvin, Judith Stacey ɛn Abbie Goldberg na kɔ-ɔda fɔ 4, ɛn sɔm ɔda wan dɛn na kɔ-ɔda fɔ tri stɔdi. Bɔku tɛm, dɛn dɔn du risach togɛda. Dis de ridyus di nɔmba fɔ di indipɛndɛnt stɔdi dɛn ɛn i de mek di inflɛns we di risach pipul dɛn gɛt fɔ bias. Dis de ɛksplen wetin mek dɛn kin ripit di sem tin dɛn we dɛn kin tɔk bɔt na bɔku stɔdi dɛn. Charlotte Patterson na prɔfɛsɔ we de stɔdi bɔt pɔsin in maynd na di Yunivasiti na Vijinia. Apat frɔm di bɔku risach wok we i de du, i gɛt fɔs-han ɛkspiriɛns bak bɔt aw fɔ mɛn pikin dɛn na famili we gɛt man ɛn in wɛf we gɛt di sem sɛks: i dɔn mɛn tri pikin dɛn na in 30 ia union wit Dɛbora Kɔn. Nanette Gartrell, togɛda wit in man ɔ wɛf Dee Mosbacher, dɔn aktiv wan fɔ difend di rayt dɛm we omoseksual pipul dɛn gɛt ɛn dɛn dɔn bi di men risachman na di risach projɛkt US National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study (NLLFS) we sɔm big big omoseksual ɔganayzeshɔn dɛn dɔn gi mɔni fɔ. Henny Bos de wok as profesa fɔ ɛdyukeshɔn na di Yunivasiti ɔf Amstadam ɛn i dɔn tek pat togɛda wit Nanette Gartrell na di NLLFS risach projɛkt. Abbie Goldberg na prɔfɛsɔ fɔ sayɛns na Klak Yunivasiti na Wostɛd, Masachusɛt. I se frɔm di biginin fɔ in risach wok, i bin gɛt di prɔblɛm se "sɔshial prɔsis ɛn mas midia de sho di tin we dɛn kɔl dominant norm, we nɔ so dominant igen (dat na, di heteroseksuɛl nyuklia famili strɔkchɔ)". Insay bɔku pan di tin dɛn we Judit Stesi bin tɔk bɔt masta sabi bukman dɛn, i dɔn fɛt fɔ mared we nɔ gɛt ɛnitin fɔ du wit man ɔ uman, pan ɔl we i tink se di bɛst tin fɔ du na fɔ pul di wan ol institiushɔn fɔ mared. Insay in opinion, di institiushɔn fɔ mared insɛf de mek pipul dɛn nɔ gɛt di sem rayt. (29) . pan ɔl we i tink se di bɛst tin fɔ du na fɔ pul di wan ol institiushɔn fɔ mared. Insay in opinion, di institiushɔn fɔ mared insɛf de mek pipul dɛn nɔ gɛt di sem rayt. (29) . pan ɔl we i tink se di bɛst tin fɔ du na fɔ pul di wan ol institiushɔn fɔ mared. Insay in opinion, di institiushɔn fɔ mared insɛf de mek pipul dɛn nɔ gɛt di sem rayt. (29) .
Lɔv . We di Nazi dɛn bin de fɛt fɔ mek dɛn kil pɔsin, wan pan di rizin dɛn na fɔ sɔri-at. Dɛn bin ɛksplen se nɔto ɔl mɔtalman layf fayn fɔ liv, ɛn na dat mek, pan ɔda tin dɛn, dɛn bin de mek fim dɛn we de mek lay lay tɔk fɔ tray fɔ difend dis prɔblɛm. Insay di nem fɔ sɔri-at, dɛn bin de disayd fɔ du sɔntin we kin mek bad bad tin apin. Bɔku tin dɛn de difend ivin tide insay di nem fɔ lɔv. Na tru se i nɔ bad fɔ mek dɛn difend lɔv, bɔt bɔku tɛm insay rial layf i kin bi mask fɔ mek pɔsin bisin bɔt insɛf nɔmɔ, mɔ fɔ di we aw big pɔsin de tink bɔt insɛf nɔmɔ to pikin. As nyu kɔrɛnt dɛn dɔn de na di sosayti insay di las dikɛd ia, bɔku pan dɛn gɛt sɔntin fɔ du wit pikin dɛn. Dɛn kin fos pikin dɛn fɔ ɛkspiriɛns di bad tin dɛn we kin apin we big pipul dɛn kin disayd fɔ du sɔntin. Di rivɔlɔshɔn pan mami ɛn dadi biznɛs, fɔ pwɛl bɛlɛ, ɛn mared we nɔ de tek man ɔ uman na tri ɛgzampul dɛn:
• Di aidia fɔ di sɛkshɔnal rivɔlɔshɔn na bin se i fayn fɔ du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs we yu nɔ gɛt mared kɔmitmɛnt. Dɛn bin difend di mata bay we dɛn se "natin nɔ bad wit am if ɔl tu pipul dɛn lɛk dɛnsɛf". Wetin dɔn bi ɛn wetin kin apin if dɛn bɔn pikin na dis kayn tin we di mama ɛn papa nɔ de kɔmit to dɛnsɛf bifo dat? Di wan we gladi pas ɔl na di opshɔn usay di mama ɛn papa kin gɛt tayt padi biznɛs wantɛm wantɛm ɛn dɛn kin bɔn di pikin na os wit in mama ɛn papa ɔl tu. Bɔt bɔku tɛm, di tin we dɛn kin du kin difrɛn. Di mama ɛn papa kin pul bɛlɛ ɔ dɛn kin separet ɛn di pikin kin de na di say we mama we nɔ mared (ɔ papa we nɔ mared) de kia fɔ am. So fridɔm fɔ du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs, we dɛn kin dɔn fɛt wit lɔv, nɔto fayn tin fɔ di pikin.
• SMƆL TƆK: Fɔ pwɛl bɛlɛ bin kam afta di sɛkshɔnal rivɔlɔshɔn. Ivin tide, di wan dɛn we de fɛt fɔ dis tin nɔ ebul fɔ gi ɛksplen bɔt wetin mek pikin we de na di mama in bɛlɛ, we gɛt di sem bɔdi pat dɛn (ay, nos, mɔt, leg, an) lɛk pikin we dɛn jɔs bɔn ɔ, fɔ ɛgzampul, a 10 ia ol pikin, go bi less human. Fɔ jɔs de na di mama in bɛlɛ nɔ fɔ bi di bɛnifit.
• SMƆL TƆK: Mared we nɔ de tek man ɔ uman – we na di tɔpik fɔ dis atikul – kin bi prɔblɛm bak fɔ pikin dɛn. Bikɔs if dɛn gɛt pikin dɛn na dis kayn union tru atifishal we ɔ tɛmporari hetero rilayshɔnship, i kin lɛf di pikin na say we i nɔ gɛt at le wan pan in biyolojikal mama ɛn papa na os.
References:
1. Wendy Wright: French Homosexuals Join Demonstration Against Gay Marriage, Catholic Family & Human Rights Institute, January 18, 2013 2. Liisa Tuovinen, ”Synti vai siunaus?” Inhimillinen tekijä. TV2, 2.11.2004, klo 22.05. 3. Bill Hybels: Kristityt seksihullussa kulttuurissa (Christians in a Sex Crazed Culture), p. 132 4. Espen Ottosen: Minun homoseksuaalit ystäväni (”Mine homofile venner”), p. 104 5. Espen Ottosen: Minun homoseksuaalit ystäväni (”Mine homofile venner”), p. 131 6. Lesboidentiteetti ja kristillisyys, p. 87, Seta julkaisut 7. Sinikka Pellinen: Homoseksuaalinen identiteetti ja kristillinen usko, p. 77, Teron kertomus 8. Ari Puonti: Suhteesta siunaukseen, p. 76,77 9. John Corvino: Mitä väärää on homoseksualisuudessa?, p. 161 10. Tapio Puolimatka: Seksuaalivallankumous, perheen ja kulttuurin romahdus, p. 172 11. Jean-Pierre Delaume-Myard: Homosexuel contre le marriage pour tous (2013), Deboiris, p. 94 12. Jean-Pierre Delaume-Myard: Homosexuel contre le marriage pour tous (2013), Deboiris, p. 210 13. Jean-Pierre Delaume-Myard: Homosexuel contre le marriage pour tous (2013), Deboiris, p. 212 14. Jean-Marc Guénois: “J’ai été élevé par deux femmes”, Le Figaro 1.10.2013 15. Tapio Puolimatka: Lapsen ihmisoikeus, oikeus isään ja äitiin, p. 28,29 16. Frank Litgvoet: “The Misnomer of Motherless Parenting”, New York Times 07/2013 17. Tapio Puolimatka: Lapsen ihmisoikeus, oikeus isään ja äitiin, p. 43,44 18. Alana Newman: Testimony of Alana S. Newman. Opposition to AB460. To the California Assembly Committee on Health, April 30, 2013. 19. Edwin Louis Cole: Miehuuden haaste, p. 104 20. David Popenoe (1996): Life without Father: Compelling New Evidence That Fatherhood and Marriage Are Indispensable for the Good of Children and Society. New York: Free Press. 21. Kristin Anderson Moore & Susan M. Jekielek & Carol Emig:” Marriage from a Child’s Perspective: How Does Family Structure Affect Children and What Can We do About it”, Child Trends Research Brief, Child Trends, June 2002, http:www. childrentrends.org&/files/marriagerb602.pdf.) 22. Sara McLanahan & Gary Sandefur: Growing Up with a Single Parent: What Hurts, What Helps, p. 38 23. Margaret Mead: Some Theoretical Considerations on the Problem of Mother-Child Separation, American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, vol. 24, 1954, p. 474 24. Sotirios Sarantakos: Children in Three Contexts: Family, Education and Social Development, Children Australia 21, 23-31, (1996) 25. Robert Oscar Lopez: Growing Up With Two Moms: The Untold Cgildren’s View, The Public Discourse, Augustth, 2012 26. International Journal of Epidemiology Modelling the Impact of HIV Disease on Mortality in Gay and Bisexual men; International Journal of Epidemiology; Vol. 26, No 3, p. 657 27. Tapio Puolimatka: Lapsen ihmisoikeus, oikeus isään ja äitiin, p. 166 28. Tapio Puolimatka: Lapsen ihmisoikeus, oikeus isään ja äitiin, p. 176 29. Tapio Puolimatka: Lapsen ihmisoikeus, oikeus isään ja äitiin, p. 178,179
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Milyan ia / dainosaur / mɔtalman evolushɔn? |