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Srɔ̃ɖeɖe kple vi siwo me womedea akpa aɖeke dzi le ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye me o

Srɔ̃ɖeɖe kple ɖeviwo ƒe akpaɖekedzimademade le ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye me, si nye alesi wotua afɔ ɖeviwo ƒe amegbetɔ ƒe gomenɔamesiwo dzi ne wogbe gomenɔamesi na wo dzila ŋutɔŋutɔwo - wozãa amegbetɔ ƒe gomenɔamesiwo kple ame tsitsiwo ƒe tasɔsɔ abe susu ene

Nyati sia ƒo nu tso srɔ̃ɖeɖe si me ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye mele o kple ŋusẽ si ƒome ƒe ɖoɖo kpɔna ɖe ɖeviwo dzi ŋu. Amesiwo doa alɔ srɔ̃ɖeɖe si me womedea akpa aɖeke dzi le ŋutsuwo kple nyɔnuwo dome o eye wotsia tre ɖe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe ablɔɖe ŋu le hadomegbenɔnɔ me la, ƒã hafi wokpɔa nuwo le ɖeviwo ƒe nukpɔsusu nu. Womebua ŋusẽ si ame tsitsiwo ƒe tiatiawɔblɔɖe kple sedede kpɔna ɖe ɖeviwo dzi ŋu o. Ame siawo ƒoa nu tso tasɔsɔ, amegbetɔ ƒe gomenɔamesiwo kple hadome tasɔsɔmasɔ ŋu ko, gake woŋlɔna be be ele be amegbetɔ ƒe gomenɔamesiwo nanɔ ɖeviwo hã si. Ele be gome nanɔ wo si tso wo dzila ŋutɔŋutɔ evea siaa si tso wo dziɣi. Enye kuxi ne womeɖe mɔ ɖe esia ŋu o. Wobua vifofomanɔmanɔ kple vidadamanɔamesi be enye nusi sɔ eye wòdzroa ame. Emegbe wokpɔa mɔ be ɖeviawo natrɔ ɖe nyateƒe si wònye be woxɔ gomenɔamesi vevi sia le wo si ŋu eye woada akpe ɖe eta gɔ̃ hã.

Enye nusi bɔ hã be nyati sia nadze agbagba atrɔ ɖeviwo ŋuti numedzodzroa ɖe nukpɔsusu si nye be tsitretsitsi ɖe srɔ̃ɖeɖe si me ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye mele o ŋu tsi tre ɖi na ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe fuléle kple fuléle ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ. Ame siwo gblɔna alea la susuna be yewonya ame si mewɔ ɖeka kple yewoƒe nukpɔsusuwo o ƒe tamebubu kple seselelãme ememetɔwo eye yewosenɛ le wo ɖokui me. Womebua eŋu be nyateƒenyawo ta koe nàte ŋu anɔ te ɖe nuwo dzi masɔmasɔ le o, gake màlé fu ame aɖeke kokoko o. Srɔ̃ɖeɖe si me ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye mele o taʋlilawo hã mebua eŋu be ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe ame geɖe ŋutɔ tsi tre ɖe nya sia ŋu o. Wokpɔnɛ be eda le gome si le ɖevia si be wòanye vifofo kple dadaa dzi. Mawudzimaxɔsela si nye ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe dzodzro si nye Bongibault gblɔ le gbebiame aɖe me (Wendy Wright, Franseawo ƒe Ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe wɔwɔfia wɔ ɖeka kple ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe srɔ̃ɖeɖe be):

Do ŋgɔ na nu bubu ɖesiaɖe la, ele be míakpɔ ɖevia ta. Le France la, menye srɔ̃ɖeɖe ƒe taɖodzinue nye be woakpɔ lɔlɔ̃ si le ame eve dome ta o. Wotrɔ asi le srɔ̃ɖeɖe ŋu koŋ be wòana ƒome nanɔ vi aɖe si. Numekuku si kpekpe wu vaseɖe fifia – ɖee fia kɔte be ɖeviwo, siwo tsina kple dzila siwo nye ŋutsu siwo dɔna kple ŋutsuwo la, ʋlina vevie ne wole tsitsim. (1) .

NUKATAE AMEWO DOA ALƆ SRƆ̃ƉEƉE SI ME ŊUTSU ALO NYƆNU NYENYE MELE O? Ne wole agbagba dzem be yewoanya nukpɔsusu si ƒomevi le amewo si le ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ŋu - ɖe wònye dzɔdzɔmenɔnɔme alo ɖe nusiwo dzɔ tso eme kple amea ŋutɔ ƒe nuwɔna ɖe wo ŋu kpɔa ŋusẽ ɖe edzi - zi geɖe la, amewo nɔa te ɖe tiatia gbãtɔ dzi. Zi geɖe la, wobua nu sia be enye dzɔdzɔmeŋutete

Ame geɖe siwo woyɔna be Kristotɔwo ƒe ŋutsu siwo dɔna kple ŋutsuwo ƒe habɔbɔ teƒenɔlawo hã (le kpɔɖeŋu me, Yhteys-ha kple Tulkaa kaikki-habɔbɔ le Finland afisia) hã doa dzidzɔ na ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe dzɔdzɔme nu . Liisa Tuovinen, si nye Yhteys-habɔbɔa ƒe ŋgɔnɔla, he nukpɔsusu sia si bɔ ɖe amewo katã me vɛ le television dzi numedzodzro aɖe me le ƒe 2002 me:

Le nyateƒe me la, susu aɖeke mele Paulo si ku ɖe ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ, si nye amegbetɔ ƒe nɔnɔme si wodzi ale gbegbe be womate ŋu atrɔe o. (2) .

Ne wose ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ gɔme be enye dzɔdzɔmenɔnɔme la, kakaɖedzitɔe la, enye susu gãtɔ kekeake siwo ta wobua srɔ̃ɖeɖe si me ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye mele o kple ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe agbenɔnɔ nyuie le egbegbe hadomegbenɔnɔ me hã dometɔ ɖeka. Wosusu be ne enye nɔnɔme si wodzina abe ŋutigbalẽ ƒe amadede alo miame ene la, ekema ɖe mesɔ be woaʋli ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe agbenɔnɔ kple amesiwo si nɔnɔme ma le ta oa? Ðe mesɔ be míado alɔ amewo le woƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe tiatiawɔblɔɖe me oa?

Gake nyateƒe kae le nyaa me? Ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe ame geɖe ŋutɔ gbe be menye dzɔdzɔme nue wònye o. Ame aɖewo ate ŋu aʋli nya be dzɔdzɔme nue wònye, gake ame geɖe lɔ̃ ɖe edzi be vidzinu ɖeka tɔgbe tɔwo ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe ameblenu kple nɔnɔmewo wɔ akpa aɖe le woƒe nɔnɔmewo dzidzi me. Esiawo nye nukpɔsusu siwo bɔ le susuŋutinunya hã me ƒe bla nanewoe nye sia.

Eyata enye nusi sɔ kple dzikudodo alo nusita zi geɖe la, nuvlowɔlawo tsoa nɔnɔme aɖewo me. Ame aɖeke mate ŋu atia nɔnɔme si me wonyi wo le kple nusi wowɔ ɖe wo ŋu o, gake ame ate ŋu atiae na eɖokui nenye be yeadi be yeatsɔe ake, nenye be yeava zu nuvlowɔla alo awɔ ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ. Ate ŋu adzroe be yeawɔ nusiawo, gake vaseɖe afi aɖe la, ate ŋu atia alesi wòdi be yeanɔ agbee:

Mexlẽ numekuku dodzidzɔname aɖe si eŋutinunyala aɖe wɔ: enye numekuku aɖe si wowɔ be woanya alesi ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ veviedonula xɔe se be wodzi yewo nenema. Ame 85 le alafa me siwo wobia gbee ƒe susue nye be yewoƒe ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ nye nuwɔna si wosrɔ̃ si ŋusẽkpɔɖeamedzi gblẽnu le woƒe aƒeme ƒe gɔmedzedze kple ame bubu ƒe ameblenuwɔnawo he vɛ.

Fifia la, zi geɖe la, nye biabia gbãtɔ ne medo go kple ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔe nye, “Amekae na gbɔgbɔmeʋaʋã wò be nàwɔe?” Wo katã woate ŋu aɖo eŋu nam. Mabia ɣemaɣi be, “Nukae adzɔ ɖe dziwò kple wò gbɔdɔdɔ dzi ne ɖe mèdo go fowò o, alo nenye be tɔɖiayɔvi meva wò agbe me o? Alo viwò evelia manɔmeea? Nukae nèsusu be adzɔ hafi?” Esiae nye ɣeyiɣi si me gaƒoɖokuiawo dzea ɖiɖi gɔme. Wogblɔna be, “Ðewohĩ, ɖewohĩ, ɖewohĩ.” (3) .

Gake Ole mexɔe se be "ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe domenyiŋusẽfianu" ƒomevi aɖe li o. Exɔe se be nusiwo gbɔ ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe seselelãmewo tsona la sesẽ wu, eye le kpɔɖeŋu me, eyɔ be yenya venɔvi geɖe siwo ɖi wo nɔewo siwo dometɔ ɖeka koe nye ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ.

Ole xɔe se be nu geɖee na yeƒe nuwɔna dzɔ, abe ƒomedodo sesẽ si nɔ ye kple ye fofo dome esime wònye ɖevi ene.

Ole mehea ɖe megbe ne ele nu ƒom tso ƒomedodo si le woa kple fofoa dome le eƒe ɖevime ŋu o. Ese le eɖokui me be ye fofo mele afima kpɔ o eye wòvɔ̃na na fofoa. Vifofoa ƒe dzi gbãna ɣeaɖewoɣi, eye Ole se le eɖokui me zi ʋɛ aɖewo be ye fofo ɖoe koŋ ɖi gbɔ ye le dutoƒo. Ole gblɔe tẽ be yelé fu ye fofo. (4) .

Harri tsɔ ɖe le numedzodzro si ku ɖe ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ŋu le nyadzɔdzɔgblɔmɔnuwo me eye wòsrɔ̃a nu tso ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ŋu. Eka ɖe edzi be ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ meku ɖe nusiwo wodzina ŋu boo o. Le kpɔɖeŋu me, etu nukpɔsusu sia ɖe nyateƒe si wònye be zi geɖe la, ele bɔbɔe be woanya nusita ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe dzodzro le amewo me. Zi geɖe la, wowɔ gbɔdɔnuwo ɖe wo ŋu alo ƒomedodo sesẽ aɖe le wo kple wo dzilawo alo wo hatiwo dome.

Harri gblɔ be: "Esia na meka ɖe edzi be menye domenyiŋusẽfianu ŋue wòku ɖo gbã o. Ke hã, nyemesusu be manya wɔ be domenyiŋusẽfianu aɖewo nanɔ ame aɖewo si si ana ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe dzodzrowo nate ŋu adze wo dzi bɔbɔe wu o." (5) .

Le ye gome la, Tepi xɔe se be ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ tso nyateƒe si wònye be seselelãme ƒe gbɔdzɔgbɔdzɔ aɖe ƒomevi le ye ŋu si yele agbagba dzem be yeakpɔ gbɔ. Tepi gblɔ be yevɔ̃na na ye fofo le yeƒe ɖevime eye "ŋutsuwo vɔvɔ̃ ma tɔgbe" gakpɔtɔ le ye si. Tepi gblɔ be yele vidada dim le nyɔnuwo dome. Togbɔ be Tepi bua susu siwo ta wòlɔ̃a nyɔnuwo ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ŋu hã la, egblɔ hã tso eƒe lɔlɔ̃ na nyɔnuwo ŋu be: “Esi wòyi le dzɔdzɔme nu wòwɔ nuku ŋutɔ ta la, mebia ɖokuinye ɣeaɖewoɣi ŋutɔŋutɔ be aleke wòate ŋu ayi nenema hã.” Le go bubu me la, exɔe se be susu aɖe li si tae wòle alea hã.

Tepi mexɔe se be domenyiŋusẽfianu gbɔe ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ tsona alo be ame ate ŋu anye ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ tso edziɣi o. Le eƒe nukpɔsusu nu la, ame tsina nye ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ, eye dɔléle tɔxɛ aɖeke mele eŋu o gɔ̃ hã. (6) .

Nyateƒee, nye hã, abe ŋutsu siwo dɔna kple ŋutsu geɖe ene la, mebiaa ɖokuinye be afikae ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ tsona hã. Mexɔe se be ɖevi ƒe amenyenye dzɔna le eƒe agbenɔƒe etɔ̃ gbãtɔwo me, eye gbɔdɔdɔ hã le eme. Nutoa me kple amegbetɔ ƒe nugbagbeŋutinunya siaa kpɔa ŋusẽ ɖe esia dzi. Nyemexɔe se kura be ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ nye domenyiŋusẽfianu o. Le nye ƒometɔ aɖewo gome la, nye ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ sesẽna le esi tututu wovɔ̃na be eƒe domenyinyi ta. (7) .

Ðe domenyiŋusẽfianu gbɔe ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ tsona? Abe alesi míede dzesii ene la, numeɖeɖe si wozãna ɖaa le ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ŋu fifiae nye be wodzinɛ eye domenyiŋusẽfianu, alo lãmetsi siwo dona le fufɔɣi gbɔe wòtsona. Amewo susuna be nugbagbeviwo koŋ gbɔe ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ tsona.

Gake numekuku siwo wowɔ tso venɔviwo ŋu meɖo kpe numeɖeɖe sia dzi o. Domenyiŋusẽfianu kple nuto si me wole le vidzidɔa me sɔ pɛpɛpɛ kple venɔvi siwo ɖi wo nɔewo, ke hã wo dometɔ ɖeka koe ate ŋu atsɔ ɖe le eya ŋutɔ ƒe ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye me. Ne domenyiŋusẽfianu gbɔe ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ tso la, mele be esia nanɔ alea o. Nya si gbɔna la tso numekuku gã aɖe si wowɔ tso nya sia ŋu, si wowɔ le Canada eye wòku ɖe nyati siwo ade 20,000 ŋu la me. Eɖee fia be domenyiŋusẽfianu kple domenyiŋusẽfianu menye nu vevi aɖe si na ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ dzɔ tso o.

Numekuku aɖe si wowɔ le venɔviwo ŋu le Canada ɖee fia be hadomenuwɔnawo le vevie wu domenyiŋusẽfianu (...)

Numekukua me tsonu ɖee fia be vevienyenye gã aɖeke mele domenyiŋusẽfianuwo ŋu o. Ne venɔvi eve siwo ɖi wo nɔewo dometɔ ɖeka nye ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ la, ke kakaɖedzi 6.7% li be venɔvi kemɛa hã tsɔ ɖe le vidzinu ɖeka me tɔwo me. Le alafa me na venɔvi siwo mesɔ o nye 7.2% eye le nɔvi siwo nɔa anyi edziedzi gome la nye 5.5%. Nusiwo do tso eme siawo mewɔ ɖeka kple domenyiŋusẽfianu ƒe kpɔɖeŋu si míeyɔ ɖe etame le ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ŋu kura o.

Nɔnɔme si me venɔviwo tsina le wo dada ƒe vidzidɔ me la sɔ pɛpɛpɛ na venɔvi eveawo siaa le lãmetsiŋusẽ gome, eye to esia me la, nusiwo do tso eme siwo Bearman kple Brucker kpɔ la ɖo kpe nufiafia si nye be vidadaa ƒe lãmetsiŋusẽ ƒe masɔmasɔ le fufɔɣi hea ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ vɛ la dzi.

(...) Numekuku vevi siwo wowɔ va yi la xɔ woƒe nyatiwo le atikewɔƒewo alo to ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe habɔbɔwo dzi, alo le mɔ bubu nu la, woƒe kpɔɖeŋu ʋɛ aɖewo koe nɔ wo si. Bearman kple Brucker gblɔ be yewoƒe numekukuae nye esi ŋu kakaɖedzi le wu elabena wotu esia ɖe kpɔɖeŋu siwo woxɔ le vome tso sɔhɛwo ƒe numekuku aɖe si me dukɔ bliboa hã le me dzi. Dodokpɔ siwo ade 20,000 ye nɔ anyi! Gakpe ɖe eŋu la, numekulaawo meɖo ŋu ɖe nya si venɔvi eve aɖewo dometɔ ɖeka gblɔ tso venɔvi la ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe dzodzro ŋu o: Ke boŋ woyi venɔvi kemɛa gbɔ hebia nya wo tso eŋu. (8) .

Zi geɖe la, ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ŋuti numekulawo mexɔ ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe dzɔdzɔme dzi se o. Olli Stålström, si nye Finlandtɔwo ƒe Seta habɔbɔa ɖola, tsɔ nya sia vɛ le eƒe nusɔsrɔ̃ si nye Homoseksuaalisuuden sairausleiman loppu (Ŋutsu si wotsɔ ƒoa ɖi ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ be enye dɔléle ƒe nuwuwu, 1997) me. Egblɔ be ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ŋuti numekulawo meda asi ɖe "I was born gay" nufiafia dzi ɣeyiɣi didi aɖee nye sia. Eƒo nu tso dzɔdzɔmeŋutinunya ƒe takpekpe eve siwo dzɔdzɔmeŋutinunyala alafa geɖe de ŋu:

Woate ŋu abu dzɔdzɔmeŋutinunya ƒe takpekpe eve siwo wowɔ le December 1987 me be wonye nya vevi aɖe le ŋutinya me ...

si me ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ŋuti numekula 100 tso dukɔ vovovo 22 me le dɔwɔha 100 me... Takpekpeawo hã lɔ̃ ɖe edzi be mesɔ be woatsɔ nufiafia siwo ku ɖe dzɔdzɔmenu siwo wodzina ŋu aɖo ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe hatsotso si nye susumedɔléle teƒe o. Wokpɔe be ehiã be woagbe ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe nukpɔsusu vevi si le ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe nukpɔsusu nu la, nu vevi aɖe si le eɖokui si tso ɣeyiɣi kple dekɔnu gbɔ si gbɔ nusi gbɔ wòtso aɖe le la le le goawo katã me. (axa 299-300)

Vi gbemelãwo . Nusiwo ɖea alesi gbegbe gbɔdɔdɔ do ƒome kple nɔnɔmewo kple nutomenuwo fiana dometɔ ɖekae nye ɖevi sue siwo wogblẽ ɖi be woanɔ lãwo gbɔ. Gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe ɖetsɔleme aɖeke kura mele wo me o. Esia ɖee fia be hadomenuwɔnawo hã kpɔa ŋusẽ ɖe amegbetɔ ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ dzi. Menye nugbagbeŋutinunya koe nye nusi atso nya me o. Risto Vuorinen si nye tsitsi ŋuti susuŋutinunya ŋuti numekula kple susuŋutinunya ƒe nufialagã ƒe kpeɖeŋutɔ gblɔ le eƒe agbalẽ si nye Minän synty ja kehitys [Ameɖokui dzidzi kple ameɖokui ƒe tsitsi] (ƒe 1997) me tso ɖevi sue siawo siwo wogblẽ ɖi, siwo woyɔna be gbemelãwo, siwo lãwo nyi ŋu. Ne domenyiŋusẽfianuwo koe dea dzesi gbɔdɔdɔ la, anye ne nɔnɔme siawo tɔgbe manɔ anyi o:

Ðevi siwo nye gbemelãwo ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ manɔsenu nye nu vevi aɖe si ŋu woke ɖo. Togbɔ be woƒe ŋutilã me tsitsi hã la, womeɖea gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe ɖetsɔleme aɖeke fiana o... Edze abe ɣeyiɣi vevi aɖe li do ŋgɔ na gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe ŋgɔyiyi ene.

Srɔ̃ɖeɖe si me ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye mele o taʋlila geɖe ŋutɔ lɔ̃ ɖe edzi tẽ be dzɔdzɔmeŋutete ƒe nyaʋiʋlia menye nyateƒe alo gɔmeɖoanyi nyui aɖeke o. Wo dometɔ ɖekae nye John Corvino, amesi mexɔe se be ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ nye nusi wodzina o. Egblɔ be: "Gake nyaʋiʋli gbegblẽ nye nyaʋiʋli gbegblẽ, aleke kee woate ŋu aƒo nya ta vivi - eye wònye nyateƒe - tso eme o" (9)

Numekukuwo ɖee fia be gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe dzesideŋkɔ hã ate ŋu atrɔ vaseɖe afi aɖe ne ame tsi, gake zi geɖe la, le vidzinu ɖeka tɔgbe tɔwo ƒe mɔ si wozãna ɖaa nu. Le sɔhɛ aɖewo gome la, ɖewohĩ woƒe ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye me mekɔ haɖe o, gake ne wole tsitsim la, wo dometɔ akpa gãtɔ akpɔ vidzinu ɖeka tɔgbe tɔwo ƒe dzesidenu si sɔ:

Amerikatɔwo ƒe numekuku gã aɖe si wota le ƒe 2007 me ku ɖe ƒe 16-22 viwo ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe dzeside si le tɔtrɔm ŋu ɖee fia be ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe dzodzro ate ŋu atrɔ azu ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ le ƒe ɖeka me zi gbɔ zi 25 wu alesi wòatrɔ ɖe eŋu. Le ƒewuivi akpa gãtɔ gome la, ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe seselelãmewo nu yina ne wole tsitsim. Ŋutsuvi siwo xɔ ƒe 17 siwo ɖe ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe ɖetsɔleme fia le akpa ɖeka me la dometɔ siwo ade 70 le alafa me ɖe vidzinu ɖeka tɔgbe tɔwo ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ fia esime woxɔ ƒe 22. (Savin-Williams & Ream 2007: 385 pp.) (10)

ÐE SRƆ̃ÐEŊU ƑE SE SI WOÐO BE WOAÐE VOVODODOA? Nyaʋiʋli ɖeka si wotsɔ ʋli srɔ̃ɖeɖe si me ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye mele o ŋue nye be srɔ̃ɖeɖe ŋuti se si wozãna le blema la nye vovototodedeameme. Esia tae srɔ̃ɖeɖe si me ŋutsuwo kple nyɔnuwo ƒe akpa aɖeke mele o ƒe akpadzinɔlawo ƒoa nu tso tasɔsɔ kple avuwɔwɔ kple vovototodedeameme ŋu, ne wole woƒe nukpɔsusuwo ta ʋlim. Nyadzɔdzɔgblɔmɔnuwo ate ŋu agblɔ gbedasi siwo ŋu wofa nu ɖo nyuie hã tso amegbetɔ ƒe gomenɔamesiwo kple tasɔsɔ ŋu.

Gomenɔamesi si le ame tsitsiwo katã si be woaɖe srɔ̃ kple gɔmesese si le srɔ̃ɖeɖe ŋu tɔtrɔ . Ne wole nu ƒom tso vovototodedeameme le srɔ̃ɖeɖe ŋuti se si wozãna tsã ŋu la, ele be woagblɔ be gome le ame tsitsiwo katã si be woaɖe srɔ̃. Naneke meli si to vovo le afisia o. Ŋutsu alo nyɔnu tsitsi ɖesiaɖe ate ŋu age ɖe srɔ̃ɖeɖe me kple eƒe vidzinu. Eyata srɔ̃ɖeɖe ŋuti se si wozãna le blema la sɔ xoxo eye medea vovototo ame aɖeke dome o. Be woagblɔ be menye nenemae o la tsi tre ɖe nyateƒenyawo ŋu.

Ke boŋ agbagbadzedze be woakeke srɔ̃ɖeɖe ɖe enu wòaɖo vidzinu ɖeka tɔgbe tɔwo gbɔ hã trɔa gɔmesese si le srɔ̃ɖeɖe ŋu. Nya srɔ̃ɖeɖe va xɔ gɔmesese yeye si menɔ esi tsã o. Ele abe nyaʋiʋli be, le kpɔɖeŋu me, dɔwɔɖui ƒe ƒomedodo si sɔ le dɔtɔ kple dɔwɔla dome fia srɔ̃ɖeɖe, alo be keke kple yameʋu nye ʋu ene, ne menye nenemae o gɔ̃ hã. Eyata nya sia si gɔme wose ƒe alafa geɖe le amegbetɔ ƒe ŋutinya me be ŋutsu kple srɔ̃nyɔnu dome ƒomedodo koe fia la, eƒe gɔmesese trɔna zua bubu to srɔ̃ɖeɖe ƒe nukpɔsusu si me womedea akpa aɖeke dzi le ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye me o me. Etrɔa nuwɔna aɖe si xɔ aƒe ɖe dekɔnu gãwo katã me ƒe akpe geɖe.

Lɔlɔ̃wɔwɔ ƒomevi bubuwo. Nyagbɔgblɔ be srɔ̃ɖeɖe ƒe se si me womedea akpa aɖeke dzi le ŋutsuwo kple nyɔnuwo dome o aɖe tasɔsɔmasɔ kple vovototodedeameme ɖa nye nyaʋiʋli gbegblẽ elabena ƒomedodo ƒomevi bubuwo li. Elabena ne woyɔ ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ be srɔ̃ɖeɖe la, aleke ame ate ŋu aɖo kpe edzi be woaɖe ƒomedodo ƒomevi bubuwo ɖa le se ɖeka ma ke me? Nukatae wòle be ŋutsu siwo dɔna kple ŋutsuwo ɖeɖeko nade srɔ̃ɖeɖe ŋuti sea me? Ne míewɔ ɖe susu ma ke si amewo tsɔ le agbagba dzem fifia be yewoaʋli nya sia ta dzi la, ele be woatsɔ ƒomedodo ƒomevi siwo gbɔna hã ade sea ƒe akpa si woawɔe me. Ne woɖe wo ɖa la, le susu ma ke nu la, enye vovototodedeameme kple kpekpeɖeŋu nana tasɔsɔmasɔ. Woɖoa emetsonu mawo gbɔ ne míewɔ ɖe amesiwo doa alɔ srɔ̃ɖeɖe si me ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye mele o ƒe susuwo dzi eye ne míetrɔ gɔmesese si le nya srɔ̃ɖeɖe ŋu:

• Vidada kple vianyɔnu dome ƒomedodo, esi wole aƒe ɖeka me ta

• Amegbetɔ, si nɔa eƒe avu gbɔ

• Srɔ̃ geɖe ɖeɖe ƒe ƒomedodowo

• Sukuvi eve siwo le xɔdɔme ɖeka me

• Ƒomedodo kplikplikpli gbɔ dɔdɔ hã nye ƒomevi ɖeka. Zi geɖe la, ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe srɔ̃ɖeɖe taʋlilawo gɔ̃ hã meda asi ɖe ƒomedodo mawo dzi o elabena wobua wo be wosɔ le agbenyuinɔnɔ gome. Gake amesiwo ƒe susu menyo o ɖe srɔ̃ɖeɖe si me ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye mele o ŋu ate ŋu agbee le susu ma ke ta. Ðewohĩ woabui be enye nu gbegblẽ le agbenyuinɔnɔ gome.

Nufialagã, Anto Leikola, ŋlɔ nu tso nya sia ŋu le Yliopisto [Yunivɛsiti] magazine (8 / 1996) me kple tanya si nye Olisiko rakkauskin rekisteröitävä? [Ðe wòle be woade lɔlɔ̃ hã agbalẽ mea?] . Egblɔ be ne míewɔ ɖe susu ma ke dzi la, mesɔ be woaɖo nya la ɖe ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ɖeɖeko dzi o. Nukatae wòle be woawo ɖeɖeko nade srɔ̃ɖeɖese ƒe akpa si wòle be woawɔ la me, evɔ ƒomedodo ƒomevi bubu geɖewo li siwo to vovo tso nusi bɔ gbɔ?

Ke ne nɔvi eve siwo ku ɖe wo nɔewo ŋu vevie, di be yewoaxɔ xɔ ɖekae kple bubuwo, eye woaxɔ vi ɖeka gɔ̃ hã ya ɖe? Nukatae wòle be wòasesẽ na wo wu ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ? Ðe lɔlɔ̃ le mamlɛtɔawo dome, gake menye le esiwo do ŋgɔ dome o, alo le xɔlɔ̃wo dzrowo dome tae? ...Le wo katã me la, hadomehabɔbɔ ƒe ŋkɔ dede agbalẽ me nye hadomewɔna ...Ne wona mɔnukpɔkpɔ sia tɔgbe ame siwo nye ŋutsu kple nyɔnu la, nyemese nusita wòle be wòanye ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ko gɔme haɖe o. Alo ɖe míesusuna be vidzinu ɖeka tɔgbe tɔwo, siwo katã nɔa anyi ɖekae eye woku ɖe wo nɔewo ŋu la, nye ŋutsu siwo dɔna kple ŋutsuwoa? Alo ɖe míebua eŋu be mehiã be ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ nado ƒome kple gbɔdɔdɔ oa... Ne míebu be enyo be woade ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe ƒomedodowo agbalẽ me, gake menye ame bubuwo o la, ekema nyateƒe si wònye be enye gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe dzodzro dede agbalẽ me, .

Ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe ame akpa gãtɔ medi srɔ̃ɖeɖe o . Ne woti srɔ̃ɖeɖe si me womedea akpa aɖeke dzi le ŋutsuwo kple nyɔnuwo dome o yome la, nya vevi siwo ŋu woƒo nu tsoe dometɔ ɖekae nye avuwɔwɔ kple vovototodedeameme kple tasɔsɔmasɔ. Wosusui be srɔ̃ɖeɖe si me ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye mele o, si me ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ate ŋu aɖe wo nɔewo le, aɖe vovototodedeameme ɖa.

Gake nyateƒeae nye be le dukɔ mawo siwo me ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe srɔ̃ɖeɖe le dɔ wɔm le ɣeyiɣi didi aɖee nye sia me la, ame ʋɛ aɖewo koe di be yewoaɖe srɔ̃. Le Netherlands la, vidzinu ɖeka tɔgbe tɔwo ƒe srɔ̃ɖeɖe le dɔ wɔm ƒe ewo enye sia, gake ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe srɔ̃ɖeɖe 20% koe ɖea srɔ̃. Ne wotsɔe sɔ kple ame ɖekaɖekawo la, xexlẽmea le ʋɛ wu gɔ̃ hã. Le akɔntabubu aɖewo nu la, ŋutsu siwo dɔna kple ŋutsuwo ƒe 8% koe gena ɖe srɔ̃ɖeɖe me. Le nyateƒe me la, xexlẽmeawo ɖee fia be ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe ame ʋɛ aɖewo koe tsɔ ɖe le srɔ̃ɖeɖe me. Ke boŋ wo dometɔ akpa gãtɔ medi (le amesiwo kpe asi ɖe eŋu ŋutɔ ƒe tamebubu nu) be yewoakpɔ tasɔsɔ kple ablɔɖe tso vovototodedeameme me o.

ÐEVIWO ƑE DƆWƆƑE . Abe alesi wogblɔe ene la, srɔ̃ɖeɖe si me ŋutsuwo kple nyɔnuwo ƒe vovototodedeameme mele o sɔ le tasɔsɔ ƒe nukpɔsusu nu eye wònye amegbetɔ ƒe gomenɔamesiwo ƒe nya. Woɖe eme be ne wolɔ̃ ɖe nya sia dzi la, aɖe sea ƒe madzɔmadzɔnyenye ɖa.

Gake ame tsitsiwo ƒe nukpɔsusu nu koe wodzro nyati sia me eye woŋlɔ ɖeviwo be. Srɔ̃ɖeɖe ƒe se si me womedea akpa aɖeke dzi le ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye me o la nye amegbetɔ ƒe gomenɔamesiwo ƒe nya vavã, gake nusi to vovo na nusi wofia: efia ɖeviwo ƒe amegbetɔ ƒe gomenɔamesiwo dzi dada. Elabena le nɔnɔme mawo siwo me ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ɖoe be yewoadzi vi (le kpɔɖeŋu me, ate ŋu adzɔ, to tsinyenyedzraɖoƒewo kple vidzidɔ haya dzi alo be ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe ƒomedodo aɖe me nɔnɔ hena ɣeyiɣi aɖe), efia be woaɖe ɖevia ɖa tso fofoa ŋutɔŋutɔ gbɔ alo vidada tso esime wodzii le esi ame tsitsiwo bua srɔ̃ɖeɖe si me ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye mele o be enye yewoƒe gomenɔamesi ta ko. Eyata srɔ̃ɖeɖe ŋuti se si me womedea akpa aɖeke dzi le ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye me o la dea vovototo ɖeviwo me le ame tsitsiwo ƒe asixɔxɔ ta. Wotsɔ ame tsitsiwo ƒe ablɔɖe ɖo ɖeviwo ƒe gomenɔamesi veviwo ŋgɔ.

Nɔnɔme aɖewo li siwo me wòle be ɖevi natsi fofo alo vidada manɔmee ya, gake nya bubue wònye be woaɖoe koŋ awɔ ɖevi fofomanɔsitɔ alo vidadamanɔsitɔ be yeatsɔ awɔ ame tsitsiwo ƒe didiwo dzi ko. Esiae dzɔna le srɔ̃ɖeɖe si me ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye mele o si me wokpɔa viwo le me.

Le France la, ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe ame geɖe ŋutɔ hã tsɔ ɖe le nya sia me. Wokpɔe be srɔ̃ɖeɖe ƒe se si me womedea akpa aɖeke dzi le ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye me o la da le gome si le ɖevia si be wòanye vifofo kple vidada dzi. Esia tae wogbea srɔ̃ɖeɖe si me ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye mele o:

Jean-Pierre Delaume-Myard: Ðe menye ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe fuléla... Metsi tre ɖe srɔ̃ɖeɖe si me ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye mele o ŋu, elabena meʋlia ɖevi ƒe gomenɔamesi be fofo kple vidada nanɔ esi ta. (11) .

Jean-Marc Veyron la Croix: Seɖoƒe li na amesiame: nyateƒe si wònye be vi mele asinye o eye vi le ŋunye mena gomem be maxɔ vidada ƒe lɔlɔ̃ le vi si o. (12) .

Hervé Jourdan: Ðevi nye lɔlɔ̃ ƒe kutsetse eye ele be wòanɔ anyi abe lɔlɔ̃ ƒe kutsetse ene. (13) .

Vidzidzi . Ne míeƒo nu tso vidzinu ɖeka tɔgbe tɔwo ƒe ƒomedodowo ŋu la, vovototo gã ɖeka le wo dome ne wotsɔe sɔ kple vidzinu ɖeka tɔgbe tɔwo ƒe ƒomedodowo: vidzinu ɖeka tɔgbe tɔwo ƒe ƒomedodowo koe ate ŋu adzi vi, mamlɛtɔa mate ŋu adzi vi o. Esia hã nye susu gãtɔ siwo tae srɔ̃ŋutsu kple srɔ̃nyɔnu ƒe srɔ̃ɖeɖe nye gɔmedzedze nyuitɔ kekeake na ɖeviwo la dometɔ ɖeka. Enaa mɔnukpɔkpɔ ɖeviwo be woatsi le wo fofo kple wo dada ŋutɔŋutɔ ƒe dzikpɔkpɔ te tso gɔmedzedzea me ke.

Gake kuxi si le ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe ƒomedodowo ŋue nye be ne wokpɔ viwo to vidzinu ɖeka tɔgbe tɔwo ƒe ƒomedodo siwo nɔa anyi ɣeyiɣi kpui aɖe me alo to mɔnu siwo wowɔ kple asi abe vidzidɔ haya alo tsinyenye ƒe gadzraɖoƒe ene dzi la, enaa ɖevia tsia vifofo alo vidadamanɔsitɔ. Dzila ŋutɔŋutɔ ɖeka ya teti bu nɛ le aƒeme, amesi wòate ŋu atsi kplii. Ele be ɖevia nanɔ agbe edzila ŋutɔŋutɔ bubu manɔmee tso gɔmedzedzea me ke le ame tsitsiawo ƒe tiatiawɔwɔ ta.

Amesiwo ŋutɔ tsi le ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe ƒome me ɖe ɖeklemi nuwɔna si nye be woaxɔ vifofo alo vidada ƒe gomenɔamesi le esi le mɔ sia nu; to kukuɖeɖe be ame tsitsiwo nasɔ pɛpɛpɛ me. Woxɔa gome si le wo dzilawo dometɔ ɖesiaɖe si la le wo si.

Jean-Dominique Bunel, si tsi kple dadaa si nye nyɔnuvi si nye nyɔnuvi kple eƒe zɔhɛ nyɔnu la gblɔ alesi wòto emee. Vifofo ƒe anyimanɔmanɔ ɖe fu nɛ. Le teƒe bubu la, egblɔ hã be ne ɖe srɔ̃ɖeɖe si me ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye mele o nɔ dɔ wɔm xoxo esime yenɔ tsitsim la, anye ne yetsɔ nya ɖe dziɖuɖua ŋu, elabena ena woate ŋu ada ye vi ƒe gomenɔamesiwo dzi:

Mekpɔ vifofo ƒe anyimanɔmanɔ abe lãɖeɖe ene... Mekpe fu le vifofo ƒe anyimanɔmanɔ ta, eƒe gbesiagbe anyinɔnɔ kple ŋutsu ƒe nɔnɔme kple kpɔɖeŋu si ana danye ƒe ƒomedodo kple eƒe aƒenɔ nada asɔ hafi. Menya gbɔdzɔgbɔdzɔ sia le gɔmedzedzea me ke. (14) .

Nya si wogblɔ le ete hã ƒo nu tso nya sia ŋu. Vifofo alo vidada ƒe anyimanɔmanɔe nye nusi tae tsitsi le ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe nɔnɔme me sesẽna na ɖeviwo ɖo. Menye nyae wònye be dzila ɖeka kolia si nye ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ mesɔ gbɔ le vihehe me o, ke boŋ enye nya si nye be woaɖoe koŋ axɔ ɖevi aɖe be wòaganɔ edzila ŋutɔŋutɔ bubu si tso edziɣi ke o:

Robert Oscar Lopez (2012) ɖe ɖeklemi ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe nyagbɔgblɔ be enye nazãbubu kple susu kpui, elabena egayɔa amewo abe eya ene be ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe fuléle, amesi tsi le nyɔnuvi siwo nye nyɔnuviwo ƒe aƒeme, nɔ woƒe agbenɔnɔ ƒe akpa gã aɖe le ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe dekɔnu me, gake siwo gakpɔtɔ tsi tre ɖe srɔ̃ɖeɖe si me ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye mele o ŋu le esi wose le wo ɖokui me be eda le ɖevia ƒe gomenɔamesi siwo le vifofo kple dadaa si dzi ta. Le Lopez ƒe nya nu la, esesẽna be woayɔ ye be ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe fuléle le esi wògblɔ gaglãa be yeto vifofo ƒe anyimanɔmanɔ me wòsesẽ nenema esime wònɔ tsitsim le dadaa kple eƒe zɔhɛ nyɔnu ƒe aƒeme ta ko. "Eɖanye srɔ̃tɔ siwo nye vidzinu ɖeka tɔgbe tɔwo di be yewoasrɔ̃ vidzidzi si nye vidzinu ɖeka tɔgbe tɔwo ƒe kpɔɖeŋu to vidzidzi teƒenɔla, vidzidzi si wowɔ kple asi, srɔ̃gbegbe, alo vixɔxɔnyi le asitsanyawo me o, wole agbenyuinɔnɔ ƒe afɔku geɖe dem. Ðeviwo, siwo kpɔe be yewole agbenyuinɔnɔ ƒe afɔku siawo dome la, nya akpa si wo dzilawo wɔna le agbe si me nuteɖeamedzi kple seselelãme sesẽ si ma wo ɖa tso dekɔnuwo abe Fofowo kple Dada ƒe Ŋkeke ene gbɔ la toto vɛ me nyuie. Wona ɖeviwo ƒe nɔnɔme sesẽna, ne woyɔ wo be ‘homophobic’ le esi wole fu kpem le – eye wolɔ̃ ɖe edzi – dzɔdzɔme nuteɖeamedzi si wo dzilawo dea wo dzi ta ko. (Lopez ƒe 2013.) (15) .

Ne woto mɔnu siwo wowɔ kple asi abe vidzidɔ haya kple tsinyenye ƒe gadzraɖoƒe ene dzi xɔ viwo la, ele be míado go agbenyuinɔnɔ ƒe kuxi gbogbo aɖewo. Kuxi si le vidzidɔ haya ŋue nye be ele be vidadaa nagblẽ vi si wòtsɔ la ɖi. Woɖoe be wòanye taɖodzinu le vidzidɔ haya me. Wokpɔa mɔ be wòatsi eƒe seselelãme ɖe ɖevia ŋu nu eye woxea fe nɛ ɖe eta. Edzraa eƒe gomenɔamesiwo na ɖevi si ɖewohĩ magakpɔ gbeɖe o. Gake le ame geɖe gome la, ɖewohĩ esia sesẽ akpa le woƒe vidada ƒe dzɔdzɔmeŋutete ta, si na wodi be yewoatso vidzidzi teƒenɔla ƒe nubabla la me. Nyɔnu siawo se egɔme be yewolɔ̃ ɖevi si le yewo me, si na yewotrɔ yewoƒe susu.

Tsɔ kpe ɖe eŋu la, vidzidɔ haya nye kuxi na ɖeviwo. Elabena ne vidadaa ɖe asi le eƒe gomenɔamesi si le ɖevia ŋu la, ɖevia ate ŋu akpɔe be wogblẽe ɖi. Nyabiasewo ate ŋu ado mo ɖa nɛ, nukatae dadaa dzrae ɖe ga ta eye metsɔ ɖeke le eme o. Alana Newman ƒe nyatakakadzraɖoƒe si nye AnonymousUS.org ƒo nu tso ɖevi mawo ƒe nuteƒekpɔkpɔwo kple seselelãmewo ŋu le bubuwo dome.

Frank Litgvoet, si le ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe ƒomedodo me la gblɔ nya ma tɔgbe ŋu nya anukwaretɔe. Eƒo nu tso vi siwo wòxɔ nyi siwo susu wo dada ŋu. Esesẽ eye wòvea ɖeviawo be woase nusita vidadaa gblẽ viawo ɖi le gɔmedzedzea me gɔme:

Ðevi “dadamanɔsitɔ” ƒe nɔnɔme le vixɔxɔnyi le gaglãgbe me mele bɔbɔe abe alesi wòadze ene o, elabena elɔ vidada si le vi dzim, si va ɖevia ƒe agbe me eye emegbe wòdzona la ɖe eme. Eye ne vidadaa mele afima ŋutɔŋutɔ o la, egakpɔtɔ nɔa anyi le drɔ̃ewo, nɔnɔmetatawo, didi vevie, kple dzimaɖitsitsi me, abe alesi míenyae le vi geɖe siwo woxɔ nyi siwo ɖo tsitsime ƒe ŋutinyawo me ene. Zi geɖe la, Dada ƒe vava le mía viwo ƒe agbe me nyea nuteƒekpɔkpɔ wɔnuku aɖe. Esesẽna na ɖeviwo wu ne vidada dzo, menye le esi wònye nublanuinya be woado gbe na ame tsitsi lɔlɔ̃ aɖe ta ko o, ke boŋ le esi wòfɔ nyabiase sesẽ si me vevesese le si nye nusita vidadaa gblẽ via ɖi le gɔmedzedzea me hã ɖe te. (16) .

Ke tsinyenye ƒe gadzraɖoƒewo kple vidzidzi ƒe atikewɔwɔwo ƒe agbenyuinɔnɔ ya ɖe? Wotu wo ɖe nyateƒe si wònye be ŋutsuwo lɔ̃ faa tsɔ woƒe tsinyenye na be woatsɔ ado vidzidɔe dzi, eyata kakaɖedzitɔe la, mahiã be ŋutsu siawo nase seselelãme sesẽ siwo ate ŋu ado mo ɖa ne wohaya vidzidɔ me la ke o.

Gake kuxi si le vidzidzitikewo ŋue nye be wotsɔa vifofomanɔsitɔ ƒe agba doa agba na ɖeviwo. Ðevi siwo wodzi kple asi ate ŋu asesẽ ŋutɔ ne vidadaa ɖoe koŋ tsɔ wo de nɔnɔme si me womate ŋu anya wo fofo ahanɔ kadodo me kplii o me. Tapio Puolimatka ƒo nu tso Yale Yunivɛsiti ƒe tagbɔdɔdala Kyle Pruett ƒe numekuku si wòwɔ le nya sia ŋu ŋu (Kyle Pruett: Fatherneed, New York, Broadway, 2000). Esesẽna na ɖeviwo be woanɔ domedome nɔnɔme ƒomevi aɖe me ne ƒomedodo aɖeke mele wo kple wo fofo ŋutɔŋutɔ dome o:

Yale Yunivɛsiti ƒe tagbɔdɔdala Kyle Pruett (2000: 207) nɔ te ɖe eƒe numekuku dzi ƒo nya ta be ɖevi siwo wodzi le vidzidzi si wowɔ kple asi me eye wonyi vifofo manɔmee la ƒe "dɔwuame le wo fofo ƒe anyinɔnɔ tegbee" si womate ŋu aɖi ƒo o. Eƒe numekukua sɔ kple srɔ̃gbegbe kple dzilaɖekɛnyenye ŋuti numekuku siwo ɖe vifofonyenye ƒe anyimanɔmanɔ ma tɔgbe fia. Pruett ƒe numekukua te gbe ɖe edzi hã be ɖevi siwo wodzi le vidzidzi si wowɔ kple asi me, siwo si nyatakaka aɖeke mele tso wo fofo ŋu o la, biaa nya goglo siwo ɖea fu na ame ku ɖe woƒe dzɔdzɔme dzɔtsoƒe kple ƒome si me wotso le nugbagbewo me ŋu. Ðevi siawo menya wo fofo alo wo fofo ƒe ƒomea o, eye wònye ŋunyɔnu na wo be woanɔ nɔnɔme si le wo dome ƒomevi aɖe me evɔ ƒomedodo aɖeke mele wo kple wo fofo ŋutɔŋutɔ dome o (Pruett 2000:204-208) (17)

Alana Newman yi edzi le nyati ma ke ŋu. Wodzi eya ŋutɔ to vidzidɔ si wowɔ kple asi me, si zãa tsinyenye si tso ame aɖe si ƒe ŋkɔ womeyɔ o gbɔ. Etsi tre ɖe nuwɔna si me mɔnukpɔkpɔ le ɖevi si be wòaɖo ƒomedodo kple eya ŋutɔ dzila ŋutɔŋutɔwo eye wòatsi le woƒe dzikpɔkpɔ te la ŋu vevie. Le eya ŋutɔ ƒe nuteƒekpɔkpɔwo ta la, amenyenye ƒe kuxiwo kple fuléle ɖe vidzinu si to vovo na etɔ ŋu ɖe fu nɛ. Le eƒe ɖaseɖiɖi si wòŋlɔ na California Sewɔtakpekpea me la, eŋlɔ tso nya sia ŋu be:

Medze egɔme tso vidzidzi kple tsinyenye si wowɔ kple asi tso ame aɖe si ƒe ŋkɔ womeyɔ o gbɔ. Togbɔ be danye ƒe tameɖoɖo nyo eye wòlɔ̃m vevie hã la, metsi tre ɖe nuwɔna sia tɔgbe ŋu vevie. ... Togbɔ be enye dɔmenyonyo be woade bubu ƒome vovovowo ŋu hã la, bubudedeameŋu ma tsi tre ɖe ɖeviwo ƒe gomenɔamesiwo ŋu tẽ ɣeaɖewoɣi: gome le ɖevia si be wòaɖo ƒomedodo kple eya ŋutɔ dzila ŋutɔŋutɔwo eye wòatsi le woƒe dzikpɔkpɔ te. Gome le ɖevi si be woagadzrae alo adzrae alo anae o negbe ɖe wòhiã hafi. Le gɔmesese nu la, wogbea ƒomedodo kple wo dzila ŋutɔŋutɔ ɖeka ya teti na ɖevi ɖesiaɖe si ame ɖeka alo vidzinu ɖeka tɔgbe tɔwo dzi, eye le esia ta enye amegbetɔ ƒe gomenɔamesiwo dzi dada...

... Mekpe fu tso amenyenye ŋuti nya siwo gblẽ nye susu ƒe dadasɔ me, kakaɖedzimanɔamesi kple fuléle ɖe vidzinu si to vovo na ema ŋu, seselelãme be wotsɔ nya ɖe ŋunye – abe ɖe menɔ anyi abe ame bubu ƒe fefenu ene ko ene. Mese le ɖokuinye me abe dzɔdzɔmeŋutinunya me dodokpɔ aɖee menye ene. (18) .

Dzilawo ƒe vevienyenye na ɖeviwo . Zi geɖe la, television dzi wɔnawo kple nyadzɔdzɔgbalẽwo me nyatiwo ƒoa nu tso alesi ɖeviwo dina be yewoake ɖe dzila ŋutɔŋutɔ si yewomedo goe kpɔ o eye wòbu le yewoƒe agbe me ŋu. Wodi vevie be yewoadi yewo ŋutɔ yewoƒe kewo eye yewoado go vifofo alo dada ŋutɔŋutɔ si bu le yewo me. Esia va bɔ ɖe edzi egbea, le kpɔɖeŋu me, le srɔ̃gbegbe ƒe dzidziɖedzi ta.

Le ɖevia ƒe nukpɔsusu nu la, nyateƒe si wònye be dzila ŋutɔŋutɔ eveawo siaa le afima eye wotsɔa ɖe le eme na wo nɔewo la le vevie ŋutɔ. Esia dona le agbemenudzɔdzɔ ŋutɔŋutɔ gbogbo aɖewo hã me. Ðevi mawo siwo ƒe ƒomedodo kple wo dzilawo dome gblẽ, le kpɔɖeŋu me, le ahanono, ŋutasẽnuwɔwɔ alo srɔ̃gbegbe dzro aɖe ta la, doa go kuxi geɖe le woƒe agbe me siwo mebɔ na ɖevi siwo tsi le ƒome siwo me gblẽ o me. Kpɔɖeŋu sue aɖe si wɔa dɔ la fia asi esia. Eɖe alesi vevietɔ vifofomanɔmanɔ, vifofo ƒe anyimanɔmanɔ le aƒeme, nye egbegbe kuxie fia:

Esi menɔ nu ƒom le ŋutsuwo ƒe asaɖa aɖe me le Hume Lake le California la, megblɔ be aɖabaƒoƒo etɔ̃ koe vifofo mamã dedie zãa ɣeyiɣi nyui aɖe ɖe via ŋu gbesiagbe. Le kpekpea megbe la, ŋutsu aɖe ke ɖi nye nyatakakawo.

Eƒo fi de be, "Nuwo koe mi mawunyagblɔlawo miegblɔna. Le numekuku yeyetɔ nu la, vifofo mamã dedie mezãa miniti etɔ̃ gɔ̃ hã ɖe viawo ŋu gbesiagbe o, ke boŋ sɛkɛnd 35 ye ."

Mexɔ edzi se elabena ewɔ dɔ abe sukudzikpɔla ene le titina California. Le nyateƒe me la, ena akɔntabubu bubu si wɔ nuku nam.

Le sukunutome aɖe me le California la, sukuvi 483 ye nɔ suku tɔxɛwo me. Vifofo aɖeke menɔ sukuvi mawo dometɔ aɖeke si le aƒeme o.

Le nuto aɖe si le Seattle ƒe gbɔto me la, ɖevi 61% nɔa agbe vifofo manɔmee.

Vifofo ƒe anyimanɔmanɔ nye fiƒode egbea. (19) .

Aleke esia do ƒome kple nyati si me míedzro? Kpuie ko la, dzila ŋutɔŋutɔ eveawo siaa ƒe anyinɔnɔ, dzilawo ƒe lɔlɔ̃ na wo nɔewo kple, le nyateƒe me, na ɖevia le vevie na ɖevia ƒe nyonyo kple tsitsi. Numekuku geɖe li siwo ɖee fia be ɖevi tsina eye wòtsina nyuie wu ne woɖe mɔ nɛ be wòanɔ eya ŋutɔ dzila ŋutɔŋutɔwo gbɔ le ƒome si me masɔmasɔwo mesɔ gbɔ ɖo o me. Ne nusi woatsɔ asɔ kple wo nɔewoe nye ɖeviwo, amesiwo to dzilawo ƒe srɔ̃gbegbe alo dzila ɖeka ƒe ƒomewo, ƒome yeyewo kple ƒomedodo siwo me wonɔa anyi ɖekae me la, wokpɔe be wonye mɔnu bubu siwo vɔ̃ɖi wu le ɖeviwo ƒe tsitsi gome. Le ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe ƒomedodowo me la, kuxia galolona wu (ne woto vidzinu ɖeka tɔgbe tɔwo ƒe ƒomedodo siwo nɔa anyi ɣeyiɣi kpui aɖe me alo to mɔnu siwo wowɔ kple asi dzi kpɔ viwo), . elabena le wo me la, ɖevia klã tso dzila ɖeka ya teti gbɔ tso eƒe agbe ƒe gɔmedzedze. Kakaɖedzitɔe la, menye tiatia nyui aɖeke na ɖeviwo o, abe alesi míegblɔe le etame xoxo ene.

Nya ʋɛ aɖewo ɖe alesi wòle vevie be dzila ŋutɔŋutɔ evea siaa nanɔ ƒomea me fia. Ele be ame si le ɖoɖo wɔm be yeagbe ye srɔ̃ la nabu tame zi eve. Nyateƒee, dzila aɖeke mede blibo o, eye ɣeaɖewoɣi ate ŋu ahiã be woanɔ wo nɔewo gbɔ le, le kpɔɖeŋu me, ŋutasẽnuwɔwɔ ta. Gake le ɖeviawo gome la, tiatia nyuitɔe nye be dzilawo nawɔ ɖeka kple wo nɔewo eye woasrɔ̃ alesi woaxɔ wo nɔewo:

David Poponoe, hadomenunyala, Rutgers Yunivɛsiti: Hadomegbenɔnɔ ŋuti numekukuwo mekpɔa emetsonu siwo ŋu kakaɖedzi le gbeɖe o. Gake le ƒe blaetɔ̃ siwo metsɔ wɔ dɔ abe hadomenunyala ene me la, meva nya nyateƒenya ʋɛ aɖewo siwo me kpeɖodziwo ƒe kpekpeme le vevie ŋutɔ le akpa ɖeka: le nusianu me la, ƒome siwo dzila eve (dzila ŋutɔŋutɔwo) le nyo na ɖevi wu tre -dzila alo ƒome siwo wotsaka. (20) .

Numekukuwo ɖee fia kɔte be ƒomea ƒe wɔwɔme le vevie na ɖeviwo eye be ƒome ƒe ɖoɖo, si me dzila ŋutɔŋutɔ eve le srɔ̃ɖeɖe me kplɔa ƒomea le, eye dzilawo ƒe masɔmasɔ ƒe agbɔsɔsɔme le sue wu, ye doa alɔ wo nyuie wu. Ðevi siwo le dzilaɖekɛƒomewo me, vi siwo vidada siwo meɖe srɔ̃ o dzi, kple ɖevi siwo le ƒome siwo me tɔwo tsaka alo esiwo le wo nɔewo dome la le afɔku gã aɖe me be woatsi ayi mɔ gbegblẽ aɖe dzi... Esia tae wòle vevie, na ɖevia, be woado srɔ̃ɖeɖe sesẽ siwo li ke ɖe ŋgɔ ɖo dzila ŋutɔŋutɔwo dome. (21) .

Ne wobia tso mía si be míawɔ ɖoɖo aɖe si akpɔ egbɔ be wole ɖeviwo ƒe nuhiahiã veviwo katã gbɔ kpɔm la, ɖewohĩ míava wu enu ɖe teƒe aɖe, si sɔ kple susu si nye be dzila eve nanɔ mía si. Le susu me la, menye ɖeko ɖoɖo sia ƒomevi kpɔa egbɔ be ɖeviawo kpɔ ame tsitsi eve ƒe ɣeyiɣi kple nunɔamesiwo ko o, ke enaa ɖoɖo si dzi woaɖu ahada asɔ hã, si doa dzilanyenye si le ɖoƒe kɔkɔ ɖe ŋgɔ. Dzila evea siaa ƒe ƒomedodo ŋutɔŋutɔ kple ɖevia dzia alesi wòanya wɔ be dzilawo nate ŋu ade dzesi wo ɖokui kple ɖevia eye woanɔ klalo be yewoatsɔ nanewo asa vɔe ɖe ɖevia ta. Eɖea alesi wòate ŋu adzɔe be dzilawo nawɔ ɖevia ŋudɔ hã dzi kpɔtɔna. (22) .

Woɖee fia kakaɖedzitɔe be ɖeviwo metsina o, togbɔ be wokpɔa wo dzi nyuie le ŋutilã me ne wole wo lém ɖe dɔwɔƒe siwo me amenyenye mele o hã, eye be kaklã tso vidadaa gbɔ – vevietɔ le ɣeyiɣi aɖewo me – gblẽa nu le ɖevia ŋu ŋutɔ. Nusiwo wògblẽna le dɔwɔƒe ƒe beléle ŋu zi geɖee nye susu ƒe dɔmawɔmawɔ nyuie, ɖekematsɔleme, megbedede kple ku gɔ̃ hã, ne vidada teƒenɔla si sɔ meli o. (23) .

Abe alesi míegblɔe ene la, wokpɔe be dzila evea siaa ƒe vevienyenye le ɖeviwo ƒe agbenɔnɔ me le vevie ŋutɔ. Nuteƒekpɔkpɔ ŋutɔŋutɔwo kple numekuku gbogbo aɖewo ɖo kpe esia dzi. Dzilaɖekɛ ate ŋu anye kpɔɖeŋuɖola le woƒe akpa si wowɔna abe dzila ene me, gake ema mexɔ ɖe dzila si bu si nye ŋutsu alo nyɔnu si bu la teƒe o. Le numekukuwo nu la, ɖevi siwo tsi le ƒome gbagbãwo me (dzila ɖeka ƒe ƒomewo, ƒome yeyewo...) la ƒe kuxi ƒomevi siwo gbɔna la sɔ gbɔ wu. Woɖe alesi gbegbe dzila ŋutɔŋutɔ eveawo siaa ƒe anyinɔnɔ lɔlɔ̃tɔe le vevie la fia:

• Sukudede ƒe ɖoƒe kple sukunuwuwu ƒe agbɔsɔsɔme le ʋɛ wu

• Zi geɖe la, wokplɔa ŋutsuvi siwo tsi fofo manɔmee la yia ŋutasẽnuwɔwɔ kple nuvlowɔwɔ ƒe mɔ dzi

• Seselelãme ƒe kuxiwo, blanuiléle kple ameɖokuiwuwu ƒe agbagbadzedze bɔ ɖe ɖevi siwo dzila evea siaa mele ƒomea me o la me wu

• Atike vɔ̃ɖiwo kple aha sesẽ zazã bɔ wu

• Ƒewuiviwo ƒe fufɔfɔ kple gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe agbegbegblẽnɔnɔ me toto bɔ wu

Aleke ɖevi siwo ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ nyi la le nɔƒe sia?

Kpuie ko la, kuxi siwo le wo ŋu abe ɖevi bubu siwo tso ƒomekadodo siwo me gblẽ me ene. Tabla si gbɔna, si do ƒome kple Australiatɔ Sotirios Sarantokis ƒe numekuku le nya sia ŋu (22), ɖe nya sia fia vie. Numekuku si wòdzra ɖo le ƒe 1996 me lae nye numekuku gãtɔ kekeake si tsɔ ɖeviwo ƒe tsitsi me tsonu sɔ kple wo nɔewo vaseɖe ƒe 2000. Numekukua bu dzilawo ŋutɔ ƒe dodokpɔwo, suku me tsonu kple nufialawo ƒe ɖeviwo ƒe tsitsi ŋuti numekukuwo ŋu:

Gbegbɔgblɔ ŋuti dzidzedzekpɔkpɔ	Ƒome si ɖe srɔ̃ 7,7	Ƒome si nɔa anyi ɖekae 6,8	Ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe ƒome 5,5
Akɔntabubu me dzidzedzekpɔkpɔ	Ƒome si ɖe srɔ̃ 7,9	Ƒome si nɔa anyi ɖekae 7,0	Ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe ƒome 5,5
Hadomegbenɔnɔ ŋuti nunya ƒe hehenana	Ƒome si ɖe srɔ̃ 7,3	Ƒome si nɔa anyi ɖekae 7,0	Ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe ƒome 7,6
Kamedefefewo ƒe modzakaɖeɖe	Ƒome si ɖe srɔ̃ 8,9	Ƒome si nɔa anyi ɖekae 8,3	Ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe ƒome 5,9
Hadomegbenɔnɔ	Ƒome si ɖe srɔ̃ 7,5	Ƒome si nɔa anyi ɖekae 6,5	Vidzinuɖekatɔwo ƒe ƒome 5,0
Nɔnɔme si le ame si ɖe nusɔsrɔ̃ ŋu	Ƒome si ɖe srɔ̃ 7,5	Ƒome si nɔa anyi ɖekae 6,8	Ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe ƒome 6,5
Dzila – suku ƒe ƒomedodo	Ƒome si ɖe srɔ̃ 7,5	Ƒome si nɔa anyi ɖekae 6,0	Vidzinuɖekatɔwo ƒe ƒome 5,0
Kpekpeɖeŋunana le sukudɔdasiwo wɔwɔ me	Ƒome si ɖe srɔ̃ 7,0	Ƒome si nɔa anyi ɖekae 6,5	Ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe ƒome 5,5

Hadomegbenɔnɔ ŋuti nufialagã Mark Regnerus hã wɔ numekuku sia tɔgbe bubu. Edzro ŋusẽ si ƒome ƒe ɖoɖowo kpɔna ɖe ɖeviwo dzi me. Viɖe si le numekukua ŋue nye be wotu esia ɖe kpɔɖeŋu siwo woxɔ le vome kple ame gbogbo aɖewo (Amerika sɔhɛ 15,000) dzi. Tsɔ kpe ɖe eŋu la, wokeke kpɔɖeŋua ɖe enu to aƒe siwo me ame tsitsiawo dometɔ ɖeka nɔ ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe ƒomedodo me ɣeaɖewoɣi la dede eme. Wota numekukua ɖe Social Science Research, si nye hadomenunya ƒe agbalẽ vevitɔ kekeake me. Numekuku sia ɖee fia be seselelãme kple hadomekuxiwo le srɔ̃tɔ siwo nye ŋutsu siwo dɔna kple ŋutsuwo ƒe viwo ŋu wu ɖevi siwo tsi kple dzila ŋutɔŋutɔ eveawo siaa. Robert Oscar Lopez, amesi ŋutɔ tsi kple vidada si nye nyɔnuvi si nye nyɔnuvi kple eƒe zɔhɛ nyɔnu la ƒo nu tso Regnerus ƒe numekukua ŋu be:

Regnerus ƒe numekukua ɖe ɖevi tsitsi 248 siwo dzilawo dome le lɔlɔ̃ me kple vidzinu ɖeka tɔgbe tɔwo. Esi wona mɔnukpɔkpɔ ɖevi tsitsi siawo be woada woƒe ɖevimeɣi kpɔ anukwaretɔe le woƒe tsitsime ƒe nukpɔsusu nu la, wona ŋuɖoɖo siwo mewɔ ɖeka kple tasɔsɔ ƒe nya si le srɔ̃ɖeɖe si me womedea akpa aɖeke dzi le ŋutsuwo kple nyɔnuwo dome o la nyuie o. Gake nane si le vevie le agbe me, si nye susu nyui, ye ɖo kpe emetsonu siawo dzi: Esesẽna be woatsi to vovo na ame bubuwo, eye kuxi siawo dzia afɔku si li be ɖeviwo nasesẽ na wo be woatrɔ asi le wo ŋu eye woatsɔ aha ada wo ɖokui kple nuwɔna siwo me afɔku le ƒomevi bubuwo. Ðikekemanɔmee la, ame 248 mawo siwo wobia gbee dometɔ ɖesiaɖe kple eya ŋutɔ ƒe amegbetɔ ŋutinya si me nu geɖe siwo sesẽ. Abe nye ŋutɔ nye ŋutinya ene la, . ame 248 siawo ƒe ŋutinyawo sɔ be woagblɔ. Ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe habɔbɔa wɔa nusianu si wòate ŋui be yeakpɔ egbɔ be ame aɖeke meɖo to yewo o. (25) .

Mele be wòawɔ nuku na mí be kuxiwo le srɔ̃tɔ siwo nye ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe viwo ŋu o. Nenema kee wòle le ɖevi siwo katã tso aƒe gbagbãwo me hã gome. Kuxi geɖe le wo ŋu le woƒe agbe me wu ɖevi siwo mɔnukpɔkpɔ su wo si be woatsi kple ƒome si me womegblẽ nu le o. Gakpe ɖe eŋu la, ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe dekɔnuwo nye kuxi na ɖeviwo, le kpɔɖeŋu me, le susu siwo gbɔna ta. Wohea malikenyenye vaa ɖeviwo ƒe agbenɔnɔ me:

• Ƒomedodo siwo me mekɔ o le ŋutsu siwo dɔna kple ŋutsuwo dome wu. Esia nye nyateƒe vevietɔ na ŋutsu siwo dɔa ŋutsu gbɔ, amesiwo le numekuku aɖe nu (Mercer et al 2009) ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe ƒomedodowo sɔ gbɔ wu ŋutsu siwo ƒe vidzinu to vovo na wo nɔewo zi gbɔ zi atɔ̃.

• Ƒomedodo kpui aɖee ɖea nyɔnu siwo dɔa ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe dzodzro fiana fiana. Wokpɔe be nyɔnu srɔ̃tɔwo ƒe vovototo ƒe alafa memamã sɔ gbɔ ŋutɔ wu ŋutsu srɔ̃tɔwo tɔ. Gawu la, ne wotsɔe sɔ kple srɔ̃tɔ siwo ƒe vidzinu to vovo la, vovototoa ƒe alafa memamãwo sɔ gbɔ ŋutɔ. Esia hã hea malikenyenye vaa ɖeviwo ƒe agbenɔnɔ me.

• Ne srɔ̃tɔwo ƒe tɔtrɔ yi teƒe bubuwo sɔ gbɔ eye ame tsitsiawo dometɔ ɖeka ya teti menye ɖevia ŋutɔ dzila o la, gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe agbegbegblẽnɔnɔ ƒe afɔkua dzina ɖe edzi. Numekuku aɖe si Regnerus wɔ ɖee fia be ɖevi siwo wo fofo kple wo dada ŋutɔŋutɔ nyi la dometɔ 2% koe gblɔ be woka asi yewo ŋu le gbɔdɔdɔ me, gake ɖevi siwo vidada si nye nyɔnuvi nyi nyi la dometɔ 23% gblɔ be yewo hã yewoto nɔnɔme ma ke me kpɔ. Nu ma ke mebɔ le ŋutsu siwo nye ŋutsu siwo dɔna kple ŋutsuwo dome o wu nyɔnu srɔ̃tɔwo.

• Abe alesi míenyae ene la, ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe habɔbɔa ƒe taʋlila geɖe tsi tre ɖe nuwɔna mawo tɔgbe siwo me amewo dina be yewoalɔ̃ faa aɖe ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe agbenɔnɔ ɖa le ŋu eye wogblɔ busunya wo. Wodze edzi hegblɔ be egblẽa nu le ame ŋu.

Gake le nyateƒe me la, ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe agbenɔnɔ gblẽa nu le ame ŋu eye afɔku le eme le gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe ƒomedodo geɖe ta. Ŋutsuwo koŋ ƒe afɔku dzina ɖe edzi be woaxɔ gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe dɔlélewo kple dɔléle bubu siwo woxɔna tso ame ɖeka gbɔ yia ame bubu gbɔ. Le nu bubuwo dome la, AIDS nye kuxi. Esia ate ŋu ana woawo ŋutɔ ƒe agbenɔƒe nanɔ kpuie ŋutɔ, gake ate ŋu axɔ dzila bubu le ɖevia si hã. Esia hã nana ɖeviwo ƒe agbenɔnɔ meli ke o. Nya si gbɔna la gblɔ nya geɖe tso nyatia ŋu. Enye numekuku aɖe si Ðɔkta Robert S. Hogg nɔ ŋgɔ na. Eƒe ƒuƒoƒoa ƒo nyatakakawo nu ƒu tso ŋutsu siwo nye ŋutsu siwo dɔna kple ŋutsuwo kple ŋutsu siwo nye ŋutsu siwo dɔna kple ŋutsuwo le Vancouver nutoa me ŋu tso ƒe 1987-1992 me. Numekukua lé ŋku ɖe ŋusẽ si dɔléle kpɔna ɖe ame ƒe agbenɔƒe le mama dedie nu dzi, ke menye alesi wòdi be yeawɔe o. Dzɔgbenyuietɔe la, woto atikewɔmɔnu vɛ tso blema ke, .

Ŋutsu siwo nye bi kple ŋutsu siwo nye ŋutsu siwo dɔna kple ŋutsuwo be woanɔ agbe tso ƒe 20 va ɖo ƒe 65 la to vovo tso 32 va ɖo 59 le alafa me. Xexlẽme siawo ɖiɖi ŋutɔ wu ŋutsu bubuwo le agbɔsɔsɔ me, amesiwo ƒe mɔnukpɔkpɔ 78 le alafa me be woanɔ agbe tso ƒe 20 va ɖo ƒe 65. Nyataƒoƒo: Le Canada du gã aɖe me la, ŋutsu siwo nye ŋutsu siwo dɔna kple ŋutsuwo kple ŋutsu siwo dɔna kple ŋutsuwo ƒe agbenɔƒe le woƒe ƒe 20-awo me nye ƒe 8-20 si mede ŋutsu bubuwo tɔ nu o. Ne ku ƒe nɔnɔme ma ke ayi edzi la, le míaƒe akɔntabubu nu la, ŋutsu siwo nye ŋutsu siwo dɔna kple ŋutsuwo kple ŋutsu siwo dɔna kple ŋutsuwo ƒe afã kloe maɖo woƒe dzigbezã 65 lia gbɔ o. Le susu siwo me woɖe mɔ ɖe nu ŋu le wu gɔ̃ hã nu la, ŋutsu siwo nye ŋutsu siwo dɔna kple ŋutsuwo kple ŋutsu siwo ƒe vidzinu to vovo le dugã sia me ƒe agbenɔƒe sɔ kple ŋutsu siwo katã nɔ Canada le ƒe 1871 me tɔ fifia. (26)

ALEKE AMEWO WƆNA NE ÐE NYA SIA? Abe alesi míegblɔe ene la, dzila ɖeka si nye ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ate ŋu awɔ eƒe ŋutete katã le eƒe akpa si wòwɔna abe dzila ene me eye wòadze agbagba anye dzila nyui na via. Màte ŋu agbe nya ma o.

Ke hã, enye nyateƒe hã be ƒomea ƒe ɖoɖo le vevie. Numekuku gbogbo aɖewo, agbemenuteƒekpɔkpɔ ŋutɔŋutɔwo kple susu nyui ɖee fia be anyo wu be ɖeviwo natsi le dɔwɔƒea kple beléle na woawo ŋutɔ dzila ŋutɔŋutɔwo me lɔlɔ̃tɔe. Nyateƒee, esia medzɔna pɛpɛpɛ ɣesiaɣi le esi dzilawo da vo ta o, gake le goawo katã me la, wokpɔe be ɖeviwo wɔa dɔ nyuie wu ne dzila ŋutɔŋutɔ eveawo siaa le afima.

Eyata aleke srɔ̃ɖeɖe si me ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye mele o ƒe akpadzinɔlawo wɔa nui ɖe nyatakaka sia ŋu, alo ne ena ɖikeke le ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe agbenɔnɔ ŋu? Zi geɖe la, edzena abe nuwɔna siwo gbɔna ene:

Nutsotso be wolé fu ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ kple fuléle nuƒoƒo bɔ. Ame geɖe fɔa nutsotso sia ɖe te, gake womebunɛ be ne míaƒe susu mewɔ ɖeka le nuwo me o hã la, mefia be míalé fu ame kemɛa o. Amesiwo le nya hem la mate ŋu anya ame kemɛa ƒe tamebubu ememetɔ o eye ɖewohĩ womase egɔme be togbɔ be masɔmasɔa le wo dome hã la, woate ŋu alɔ̃ ame kemɛa, alo adze agbagba ya teti be yealɔ̃e o. Ele be woase vovototo sia gɔme.

Le go bubu me la, ebɔ be amesiwo doa alɔ srɔ̃ɖeɖe si me womedea akpa aɖeke dzi le ŋutsuwo kple nyɔnuwo me o la doa vlo ame heƒoa ɖi ame siwo kpɔa nuwo le mɔ bubu nu. Togbɔ be wogblɔna be yewole lɔlɔ̃ teƒe hã la, womewɔa nu ɖe edzi o. Ne wò ŋutɔ ènye ameŋugblẽla alea la, viɖe kae nèkpɔna tso eme alo ne amesiame kpɔ ŋudzedze ɖe wò agbenɔnɔ ŋu?

Nutsotso be wobu fɔ ame. Do ŋgɔ la, wogblɔ alesi ƒome ƒe ɖoɖo le vevie na ɖeviwo ƒe nyonyo. Wokpɔe be ƒewuiviwo ƒe fufɔfɔ, nuvlowɔwɔ, atike muamewo zazã kple seselelãmekuxiwo bɔ ɖe ƒome siwo me dzila ŋutɔŋutɔawo dometɔ ɖeka ya teti bu le la me. Esia kpɔa ŋusẽ ɖe ganyawo hã dzi, esime hadomegbenɔnɔ ƒe gazazãwo le dzidzim ɖe edzi. Le kpɔɖeŋu me, numekuku aɖe si wowɔ le USA le ƒe 2008 me ɖee fia be srɔ̃gbegbe kple vi siwo wodzi le srɔ̃ɖeɖe godo gblẽa ga dɔlar biliɔn 112 na adzɔxelawo ƒe sia ƒe (Girgis et al 2012:46). Nenema ke Etelä-Suomen sanomat ka nya ta le October 31, 2010 dzi be: Eteƒe madidi o ɖeviwo kple sɔhɛwo dzi kpɔkpɔ le dɔwɔƒewo axɔ ga biliɔn ɖeka, Ðeviwo ƒe kuxiwo gagblẽ ɖe edzi ŋutɔ tso ƒe 1990 ƒeawo ƒe gɔmedzedze... Dɔwɔƒewo dzi kpɔkpɔ na ɖevi ɖeka xɔa euro 100,000 ƒe sia ƒe .... Tsɔ kpe ɖe eŋu la, Aamulehti ka nya ta le March 3, 2013 dzi be: Sɔhɛ si woɖe ɖe aga la xɔa ga miliɔn 1.8. Ne wogbugbɔ ame ɖeka gɔ̃ hã va hadomegbenɔnɔ me la, nu nyui aɖe dona tso eme.

Aleke ame bubuwo wɔa nui ɖe nyatakaka sia ŋu? Woate ŋu agblɔ be fifia wole fɔ bum dzilaɖekɛwo, dzila siwo nye ŋutsu siwo dɔna kple ŋutsu alo amesiwo do kpo nu le woƒe srɔ̃ɖeɖewo me.

Ke hã, mehiã be nàlé ŋku ɖe eŋu le nukpɔsusu ma nu o. Nenema ke amesiame ate ŋu abu alesi woate ŋu aɖɔ nuwo ɖo be woanyo wu ŋu. Le kpɔɖeŋu me, ne ame aɖe le ɖoɖo wɔm be yeadzo le ye srɔ̃ kple yeƒe ƒomea gbɔ la, ele be wòabu tame zi eve, elabena ate ŋu akpɔ ŋusẽ gã aɖe ɖe ɖeviawo kple woƒe etsɔme dzi. (Zi geɖe la, ɖevi siwo kpɔ ŋutasẽnuwɔwɔ enuenu eye woto wo me enuenu koe ate ŋu akpɔ wo dzilawo ƒe kaklã abe gbɔdzɔe ene.) Alo ne ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ le ɖoɖo wɔm be yeadzi vi to mɔnu siwo wowɔ kple asi dzi la, ele be wòabu alesi ɖevia ase le eɖokui me be yele agbe fofo manɔmee alo . vidada aɖe.

Nyatakaka siwo ku ɖe ƒome ƒe ɖoɖo ƒe vevienyenye na ɖeviwo ŋu sɔ kple nyatakaka siwo ku ɖe viɖe siwo le kamedede ŋu alo afɔku siwo le atamanono me na lãmesẽ ŋu vie. Nyatakaka sia li, gake menye amesiamee wɔa nu ɖe eŋu o. Ke hã, ne míewɔ ɖe nyatakaka siwo le amesiame si dzi la, ana míaƒe ŋutilã ƒe lãmesẽ nanyo ɖe edzi.

"Gbeɖuɖɔ ŋuti numekuku" . Togbɔ be nugɔmesese ŋutɔŋutɔ kple gbesiagbegbenɔnɔ me nuteƒekpɔkpɔwo ɖo kpe edzi be enyo na ɖeviwo ne woɖe mɔ na wo be woatsi le dzila ŋutɔŋutɔ eveawo siaa ƒe ƒome me hã la, srɔ̃ɖeɖe si me ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye mele o ƒe akpadzinɔla veviedonula aɖewo dzea agbagba be yewoagbe esia. Wogblɔna be dzila ŋutɔŋutɔ ƒe anyinɔnɔ mele vevie o, gake ame tsitsi bubu ate ŋu axɔ ɖe dzila si bu ƒe anyinɔnɔ teƒe. Woyɔ numekuku aɖewo koŋ siwo ɖo kpe nukpɔsusu sia dzi le afisia. Le ɣeyiɣi ma ke me la, woɖe eme be nyatakaka siwo katã wogblɔ va yi ku ɖe gɔmesese si le ƒome ƒe ɖoɖowo ŋu ŋu la nye "numekuku gbegblẽ" kple nyatakaka siwo menye dzɔdzɔmeŋutinunya o. Esia tae wosusu be ele be woagbee ɖo.

Gake ne èlé ŋku ɖe numekuku siwo ŋu srɔ̃ɖeɖe si me ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye mele o taʋlilawo ƒo nu tsoe ŋu la, ke boŋ woɖoa nyatakaka siwo mesɔ ɖe dzɔdzɔmeŋutinunya me o ƒe dzesiwo gbɔ. Nusitae nye le kpɔɖeŋu me, nusiwo gbɔna:

Numekukuawo ƒe kpɔɖeŋu le sue , le mamã dedie nu la, ame 30-60 koe wobia gbee. Kpɔɖeŋu suewo mate ŋu ana emetsonu siwo ɖe dzesi le akɔntabubu nu o. Be woate ŋu awɔ nya siwo wogblɔna le mɔ gbadza nu la, ele be kpɔɖeŋua ƒe lolome nasɔ gbɔ.

Ƒuƒoƒo siwo wotsɔ sɔ kple wo nɔewo bu alo wonye ƒome siwo me gblẽ. Kuxi si le numekuku geɖe ŋue nye be srɔ̃tɔ siwo ƒe vidzinu to vovo ƒe ƒuƒoƒo siwo wotsɔ sɔ kple wo nɔewo mele wo si kura o. Alo ne ƒuƒoƒo aɖe li si wotsɔ sɔ kple wo nɔewo la, zi geɖe la, enye dzilaɖekɛ, ƒome si wogbugbɔ ɖo anyi alo esi nɔa anyi ɖekae. Ƒã hafi wozãa dzila ŋutɔŋutɔwo ƒe srɔ̃ɖeɖe, siwo wonya be wonyo na ɖeviwo ƒe tsitsi wu la, abe ƒuƒoƒo si wotsɔ sɔ kple wo nɔewo ene. Wogblɔe do ŋgɔ xoxo be kuxi geɖe wu ɖevi siwo le ƒome siwo me gblẽ me.

Le numekuku 59 siwo APA zã me la, 26 mekpɔ ƒuƒoƒo si me wotsɔa wo nɔewo sɔna kple wo nɔewo si me srɔ̃tɔ siwo ƒe ŋutsuwo kple nyɔnuwo to vovo kura o. Ƒuƒoƒo si wotsɔ sɔ kple wo nɔewo alea nɔ numekuku 33 me, gake le numekuku 13 me la, ƒuƒoƒo si wotsɔ sɔ kple wo nɔewoe nye dzilaɖekɛƒomewo. Le numekuku 20 susɔeawo me la, womenya nenye be dzilaɖekɛ, srɔ̃tɔ siwo le wo nɔewo gbɔ, ƒome yeye alo srɔ̃tɔ siwo ɖevia dzila ŋutɔŋutɔwo ɖo lae nye ƒuƒoƒo si wotsɔ sɔ kple wo nɔewo o. Gbɔdzɔgbɔdzɔ sia ɖeɖe dzaa na be generalization nye kuxi, elabena Brown (2004: 364) gblɔ le eƒe numekuku si me wòku Amerika ɖevi 35,938 kple wo dzilawo me be ga kple vihehe ƒe nunɔamesiwo ka kee ɖale o, sɔhɛwo (ƒe 12-17 viwo) ƒe emetsonuwo bɔbɔna le srɔ̃tɔ siwo nɔa anyi ɖekae ƒe ƒomewo me wu le dzila ŋutɔŋutɔ eve siwo ɖe srɔ̃ ƒe ƒomewo me. (27) .

Womaxɔ amewo ƒe kpɔɖeŋuwo le vome o eye womenya gbebiamewo ƒe vevienyenye o . Ne kpɔɖeŋuawo le sue la, kuxi bubue nye be wometu wo dometɔ geɖe ɖe kpɔɖeŋu siwo woxɔ le vome dzi o, gake woxɔa amesiwo wobia gbee tso aʋawɔlawo ƒe nyamedzroƒewo. Ame siwo wobia gbee ate ŋu anya dunyahehe me vevienyenye si le numekukua ŋu eye le esia ta woana ŋuɖoɖo "siwo sɔ". Gakpe ɖe eŋu la, amekae adi be yeagblɔ nya manyomanyowo tso yewo ŋutɔ yewo viwo ƒe nyonyo ŋu alo ɖevi aɖe tso ye dzilawo ŋu, amesiwo ƒe ŋudzedzekpɔkpɔ hiãe?

Le gɔmesese sia nu la, numekuku geɖe siwo wowɔ le go sia me ɖo ŋku numekuku siwo Alfred Kinsey dzra ɖo ƒe bla nanewoe nye sia dzi. Menye kpɔɖeŋu siwo woxɔ le vome dzie wotu wo ɖo o, gake Kinsey ƒe numekukua me tsonu ƒe akpa ɖedzesi aɖe tso gbɔdɔdɔnuwɔlawo, amegbɔdɔlawo, adzodalawo, ɖevigbɔdɔlawo, ŋutsu siwo dɔna kple ŋutsuwo ƒe ahadzraƒewo ƒe asisiwo kple gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe agbegbegblẽnɔnɔ ƒe ame bubuwo gbɔ. Wogblɔ be Kinsey ƒe numekukua me tsonuawo nye Amerikatɔ mamã dedie teƒenɔlawo, gake numekuku siwo wowɔ emegbe na nusiwo to vovo kura eye wogbe nyatakaka siwo Kinsey na. Ðɔkta Judith Reisman ŋlɔ nu tso nya sia ŋu le eƒe agbalẽ si kpɔ ŋusẽ ɖe amewo dzi si nye "Kinsey: Crimes & Consequences" (1998) me.

Tameɖoɖo didi? Esi woɖe mɔ ɖe fuɖeɖe ŋu le se nu mlɔeba la, wogblɔ be woɖe fu le se nu le agbɔsɔsɔ gã aɖe me. Le kpɔɖeŋu me, wogblɔ be fuɖeɖe manɔsenu 30,000 ye woɖena le Finland ƒe sia ƒe, togbɔ be le sea ƒe tɔtrɔ megbe la, xexlẽmeawo va ɖo abe 10,000 ene ko hã. Nukae he vovototo gã mawo vɛ? Fuɖeɖe taʋlila aɖewo lɔ̃ ɖe edzi gaglãa emegbe be yewogbɔ xexlẽmeawo ŋu be yewoatsɔ aʋuʋu sewɔlawo kple dukɔa ƒe nukpɔsusu.

Ame ate ŋu abia be ɖe taɖodzinu ma tɔgbe aɖe le numekuku gbogbo aɖewo siwo ku ɖe srɔ̃ɖeɖe si me ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye mele o ŋu hã. Ame aɖewo lɔ̃ ɖe edzi be taɖodzinu mawo va eme. Numekulawo ŋe aɖaba ƒu vovototo siwo dze ƒã siwo woate ŋu akpɔ dzi elabena wodi be yewoaɖee afia be ƒome ƒe ɖoɖo meku ɖe ɖeviwo ƒe tsitsi ŋu o. Nya si gbɔna la ƒo nu tso esia ŋu:

Stacey kple Biblarz (2001: 162) lɔ̃ ɖe edzi be esi numekulawo di be yewoaɖee afia be vihehe si ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ nyo abe ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe vidzidzi nyo ene ta la, numekula siwo sea nu gɔme nyuie la wɔa nu ɖe vovototo siwo le ƒome ƒe nɔnɔme siawo dome ŋu nyuie. Ne míagblɔe bubui la, togbɔ be le nyateƒe me la, numekulawo kpɔ vovototowo le ame tsitsi siwo nɔa anyi ɖekae ƒe vihehe me hã la, woŋe aɖaba ƒu wo dzi, woɖe woƒe vevienyenye dzi kpɔtɔ, alo womete ŋu wɔ numekuku bubuwo tso vovototoawo ŋu o. Dzilawo ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe dzodzro kpɔ ŋusẽ ɖe wo viwo dzi wu nusi numekulaawo he (Stacey & Biblarz 2001: 167). (28) .

Míenya hã be numekula ʋɛ aɖewoe wɔa numekuku akpa gãtɔ. Ɣeaɖewoɣi la, wowɔ nu aduadu. Gakpe ɖe eŋu la, wo dometɔ aɖewo nye ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ alo wodoa alɔ srɔ̃ɖeɖe si me ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye mele o la vevie. Esia nye gɔmeɖoanyi nyui aɖe si dzi woanɔ te ɖo awɔ numekuku si me ameŋkumemakpɔmakpɔ le.

Wogate gbe ɖe ŋusẽ si numekula ɖekaɖekawo ƒe nukpɔsusu kpɔna ɖe ame dzi dzi elabena numekula ʋɛ aɖewoe wɔ numekuku 60 siwo ŋu nya ku ɖo la ƒe akpa gã aɖe. Charlotte J. Patterson nye agbalẽŋlɔla ɖeka le numekuku 60 mawo dometɔ wuieve me, Henny Bos le enyi me, Nanette Gartrell le adre me, Judith Stacey kple Abbie Goldberg nye kpeɖeŋutɔ agbalẽŋlɔla le ene me, eye ame ʋɛ bubuwo nye kpeɖeŋutɔ ŋlɔlawo le numekuku etɔ̃ me. Wowɔ numekuku ɖekae zi geɖe. Esia ɖea numekuku siwo wowɔna le wo ɖokui si ƒe xexlẽme dzi kpɔtɔna eye wòdzia numekulawo ƒe akpaɖekedzimademade ƒe ŋusẽkpɔɖeamedzi ɖe edzi. Esia ɖe nusita wogbugbɔ gblɔ nya mawo ke le numekuku geɖe me la me.

Charlotte Patterson nye susuŋutinunyafialagã le Virginia Yunivɛsiti. Tsɔ kpe ɖe eƒe numekukudɔ geɖe ŋu la, nuteƒekpɔkpɔ gbãtɔ hã le esi le vihehe ƒe nuwɔnawo ŋu le srɔ̃tɔ siwo nye vidzinu ɖeka tɔgbe tɔwo ƒe ƒome aɖe me: ehe vi etɔ̃ le eƒe ƒe 30 ƒe ɖekawɔwɔ kple Deborah Cohn me. Nanette Gartrell, kpakple srɔ̃a Dee Mosbacher, ʋli ŋutsu siwo dɔna kple ŋutsuwo ƒe gomenɔamesiwo ta vevie eye wonye numekula vevitɔ le numekuku si wowɔ le United States Dukɔa ƒe Nyɔnuviwo ƒe Ƒomedodo Ŋuti Nusɔsrɔ̃ (NLLFS) si ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe habɔbɔ xɔŋkɔ geɖewo na gae la me. Henny Bos wɔa dɔ abe sukudede ƒe nufialagã ene le Amsterdam Yunivɛsiti eye wokpɔ gome ɖekae kple Nanette Gartrell le NLLFS ƒe numekukudɔa me. Abbie Goldberg nye susuŋutinunyafialagã le Clark Yunivɛsiti le Worcester, Massachusetts. Egblɔ be tso yeƒe numekukudɔa ƒe gɔmedzedze ke la, yekpɔ kuxi si nye be "hadomegbenɔnɔ ƒe nuwɔnawo kple nyadzɔdzɔgblɔmɔnuwo ɖea nusi woyɔna be nusi ɖua dzi, si megaxɔ aƒe ɖe amewo me nenema gbegbe o (si nye, vidzinu to vovo ƒe nuklia ƒome ƒe ɖoɖo) fiana". Le eƒe eŋutinunyalawo ƒe nukpɔsusu geɖe me la, Judith Stacey ʋli srɔ̃ɖeɖe si me ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye mele o ta, togbɔ be ebu tiatia nyuitɔ kekeake be yeaɖe srɔ̃ɖeɖe ƒe ɖoɖo bliboa ɖa hã. Le eƒe nukpɔsusu nu la, srɔ̃ɖeɖe ƒe ɖoɖowɔwɔ le eɖokui si dzia tasɔsɔmasɔ ɖe edzi. (29) . togbɔ be ebua tiatia nyuitɔ si nye be yeaɖe srɔ̃ɖeɖe ƒe ɖoɖo bliboa ɖa hã. Le eƒe nukpɔsusu nu la, srɔ̃ɖeɖe ƒe ɖoɖowɔwɔ le eɖokui si dzia tasɔsɔmasɔ ɖe edzi. (29) . togbɔ be ebua tiatia nyuitɔ si nye be yeaɖe srɔ̃ɖeɖe ƒe ɖoɖo bliboa ɖa hã. Le eƒe nukpɔsusu nu la, srɔ̃ɖeɖe ƒe ɖoɖowɔwɔ le eɖokui si dzia tasɔsɔmasɔ ɖe edzi. (29) .

Lɔlɔ̃ . Esime Nazitɔwo ʋli amewuwu ta la, susuawo dometɔ ɖekae nye dɔmetɔtrɔ. Woɖe eme be menye amegbetɔwo ƒe agbenɔnɔ katãe sɔ be woanɔ agbe o, eye esia tae, le nu bubuwo dome la, wowɔ alakpanyawo ŋuti sinimawo tsɔ dze agbagba be yewoaʋli nya sia ta ɖo. Le dɔmetɔtrɔ ƒe ŋkɔ me la, wowɔ nyametsotso siwo he emetsonu dziŋɔwo vɛ mlɔeba.

Woʋlia nu geɖe ta egbea gɔ̃ hã le lɔlɔ̃ ƒe ŋkɔ me. Nyateƒee, megblẽ be woaʋli lɔlɔ̃ ta o, gake zi geɖe le nyateƒe me la, ate ŋu anye ɖokuitɔdidi ƒe nutsyɔnu, vevietɔ na ame tsitsi ƒe ɖokuitɔdidi ɖe ɖevi. Esi nu yeyewo do mo ɖa le hadomegbenɔnɔ me le ƒe bla nane siwo va yi nyitsɔ laa me ta la, wo dometɔ geɖe ku ɖe ɖeviwo ŋu pɛpɛpɛ. Wozia ɖeviwo dzi be woakpɔ ame tsitsiwo ƒe tiatiawɔblɔɖe me tsonuwo. Gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe tɔtrɔ, fuɖeɖe, kple srɔ̃ɖeɖe si me ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye mele o nye esia ƒe kpɔɖeŋu etɔ̃:

• Gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe tɔtrɔ kpata ƒe susue nye be naneke megblẽ le eŋu be woadɔ kple ame srɔ̃ɖeɖe ƒe adzɔgbeɖeɖe manɔmee. Woʋli nya la ta esi wogblɔ be "naneke megblẽ le eŋu ne ame evea siaa lɔ̃ wo nɔewo o".

Nukae dzɔ eye nukae do tso eme ne wodzi vi ɖe nɔnɔme sia tɔgbe me si me dzilawo metsɔ wo ɖokui na wo nɔewo o do ŋgɔ na ema?

Nusi doa dzidzɔ na ame wue nye tiatia si me dzilawo doa ka kple wo nɔewo enumake eye wodzia ɖevia ɖe aƒe si me dzila eveawo siaa le me ya.

Gake zi geɖe la, nuwɔna la toa vovo. Dzilawo ate ŋu aɖe fu alo woate ŋu aklã eye ɖevia nanɔ vidada srɔ̃manɔsitɔ (alo vifofo srɔ̃manɔsitɔ) ƒe dzikpɔkpɔ te. Eyata gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe ablɔɖe, si ɖewohĩ wotsɔ lɔlɔ̃ ʋli tae, menye tiatia nyui aɖeke na ɖevia o.

• Fuɖeɖe va le gbɔdɔdɔ ƒe tɔtrɔ kpata megbe. Egbea gɔ̃ hã la, nya sia taʋlilawo mete ŋu na numeɖeɖe aɖeke le nusita ɖevi si le vidadaa ƒe dɔme, si ƒe ŋutilã ƒe akpa aɖewo (ŋku, ŋɔti, nu, afɔ, asiwo) sɔ kple vidzĩ yeye alo, le kpɔɖeŋu me, a Ðevi si xɔ ƒe 10, anye amegbetɔ si mede nenema o. Mele be vidadaa ƒe vidzidɔ me nɔnɔ dzro ko nanye nusi dzi woanɔ te ɖo o.

• Srɔ̃ɖeɖe si me ŋutsu alo nyɔnu nyenye mele o – si ŋu nyati sia ƒe tanya le – ate ŋu anye kuxi na ɖeviwo hã. Elabena ne wokpɔ viwo le ɖekawɔwɔ sia tɔgbe me to mɔnu siwo wowɔ alo ɣeyiɣi kpui aɖe ƒe hetero ƒomedodowo dzi la, egblẽa ɖevia ɖe nɔnɔme si me edzila ŋutɔŋutɔ ɖeka ya teti bu le aƒeme.

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