Homosexuality and being freed from it

What causes homosexuality, its underlying factors and can one get rid of it?

Why is it a sin and lust like greed, bitterness and other wrong attitudes?

In the following lines, we are going to take a look at homosexuality and its background factors. The purpose is to think especially about the origin of homosexuality and whether a person can be freed from it, as well as what the Bible says on the subject. Many may disagree, but they should read the whole text.

BACKGROUND FACTORS OF HOMOSEXUALITY. When looking for a reason for homosexuality, one of the most important arguments has been that homosexuality is innate and that nothing can be done about it. It has been explained that some are born homosexual and just have to accept their identity.

However, when studying homosexuality, it has been impossible to find even one hereditary reason for it. No gene or other hereditary factor has been found that could cause homosexuality. Clear findings from this area are missing.

Instead, certain background factors and special features, which are listed below, seem to be much more important. These factors have been found repeatedly in several studies and interviews that have been conducted. Most of them are related to relationships. We will look at them next:

MALE HOMOSEXUALITY

Rejection by one’s father. Maybe the most typical factor causing homosexuality in men is the absence of a model of a warm and loving father. If one's father has been hot-tempered, indifferent, and hostile, this can result in the boy or the man starting to look for the approval of men, because he did not get it from his own father. Thus, homosexuality is the sexualization of longing for the father (in women, respectively, the mother) in men. If a man has had a good model of a father, it will in part prevent homosexual development. Jerry Arterburn, a former homosexual, talks about this:

Additional support and acceptance given to a child can be enough as such. Many homosexuals have told that they actually mainly longed for the acceptance of men. Had their fathers changed their attitude and given their sons more attention, their whole life could have gone in a positive direction. (1)

Other men. Almost as important a factor as the rejection of the father is also rejection from other important men, such as brothers and schoolmates. This rejection can deprive a boy or a man of a necessary model of identification with his own gender and isolate him from it. Many men have drifted into homosexual relationships because they have found the approval and solidarity of male friends that they did not experience before. Jerry Arterburn has told how this affected him most of all:

I didn't change into a full-blooded gay overnight. The change took place so gradually that I didn’t even immediately notice it. At first, I only thought I was making friends with these new acquaintances. I enjoyed the new friends. They seemed to understand what I had gone through in my childhood. (…) I wanted to find out whether homosexuality was the reason why I felt as I did. I stopped dating girls and started to spend my time with a homosexual couple I knew from the university. I perfectly fitted in this group, and the boys took me under their wings just like brothers. I felt such solidarity, which I hadn't felt even in the company of my own brothers. The feeling of being accepted was miraculous. It tempted me to the homosexual world more than anything else. (2)

Andrew Comiskey has also told how he started to feel a homosexual longing because he had been isolated from his male friends of the same age. This was one of the main reasons for his homosexual longing:

In a large part of my early sexual development, alienation from my own masculinity could be observed. I felt insufficient and unsuitable for the role of a man. It was mostly because of the emotional distance I kept from my father, which was as much due to my own expectations and misperceptions as it was to my father's shortcomings. Alienation from my father was confirmed by the continuous rejections of my male friends that started already in the elementary school and continued through puberty. Because I had distanced myself from my father and my male friends, I started to feel a powerful homosexual longing. I didn't understand the mood of hurt and judgment I had towards men. Neither did I understand how difficult it was for me to deal with my own masculinity. (3)

Mother's influence. The mother may also play a role in the emergence of homosexuality. If she separates the children from their father, ties the son too closely to herself instead of his spouse, and takes her son as her confidant, it can cause great harm. The mother's tenderness can lead the boy psychologically astray, and when the boy is placed in the role of confidant, it is difficult for him to detach his own gender identity from the mother's identity. He may follow the model of his mother instead of that of his father. Leanne Payne has described this:

If the child does not have a strong and supporting father figure, an extremely protective mother who keeps her son harmfully close can cause her son to have difficulties in separating his sexual identity from that of his mother, and the mother can promote homosexual behavior in her son. (4)

The second possible model is a commanding and dominating mother criticizing her husband in front of the children. The mother can be very aggressive and derogatory towards her husband, greatly damaging the son's image of his father. It can also cause the son to have difficulties later on in trusting women, because his mother has given him such a dominating and commanding model. This kind of a background has been described by Andrew Comiskey:

Time after time I have seen how these people are incapable of heterosexual relationships because they feel that the parent of the opposite sex took advantage of the other parent. One man who sought help did not trust women at all because his mother had behaved in a dominating way towards her passive husband and insulted him. (5)

Parents’ negative attitude towards sexuality. One factor causing homosexuality can be the parents’ negative attitude towards sexuality. The parents may, for example, unreasonably punish their child for having shown his body while playing with other children. This can later result in rejecting sexuality as a whole. Sometimes, the parents’ unreasonably negative reactions can only cause damage.

The case may also be a father mocking his son’s awakening interest in girls, whereupon the son can misunderstand it as something unsuitable, dirty, and abnormal (there may be other influencing factors behind this as well). The son may later turn to his own gender to receive sexual approval.

David and Don Wilkerson have described this in their book The Untapped Generation:

Children who are continually warned about the danger of sexual relationships start to think them as boring and dirty. The child interprets his natural sexual feelings during puberty as abnormal and may feel guilty because of them. The child has perhaps been taught to fear people of the opposite sex. Parents who themselves have problems with their sexuality often consciously or unconsciously reflect these feelings to their children.

Parents who bring their children up with a healthy attitude towards sexuality need not be afraid of their child becoming a homosexual; it is very probable that the child will grow up normally. A home filled with a healthy attitude towards sexuality should be filled with signs from which the child can naturally conclude that heterosexuality is not only normal and right, but also rewarding and pleasing. Sexually well-balanced parents instinctively know how to encourage the masculinity in boys and femininity in girls. (…)

Wrong demands. Another factor causing homosexuality can be parents being disappointed in having gotten a boy instead of a girl, and subconsciously trying to force their child in to the role of the opposite sex, for example by dressing a boy in the clothes of a girl. Leanne Payne offers a good example of this:

Loren, an elegant, handsome forty-year-old man, had been openly homosexual since his youth. This had caused great conflicts between him and his father, and problems in his other relationships. He did not accept himself, but defended his behavior passionately when arguing with his father. He understood that his homosexuality included a grudge and a rebellion towards his father, but he was never able to deal with these. This man had genuinely found Christ and salvation, but he often lost the battle against his homosexual tendency, until God brought into light his first memories. This happened when we asked the Lord to find that recollection that would expose the cause of the problem. During this prayer, he relived an occurrence that took place when he was only just born.

He saw his father coming into the room where he had just been born. Disappointment quickly filled the room and heavily weighed on him. His father looked at him with disgust and said, "Boy again!” Then he turned and rushed away from the room. Loren was their third son, they had been hoping for a girl. Loren "saw" all of this and experienced it again – and this time, understood it both intellectually and emotionally. This rejection explained why Loren had later tried to become a girl, to the great astonishment of the family. He wanted to play with dolls and girls, not with boys. He unconsciously tried to be the girl his father had hoped for. (6)

Abuse by someone of the same sex can also cause homosexual behavior. Jerry Arterburn tells how he was a victim of sexual abuse, which was one of the factors that led him in the wrong direction. He also tells how many of his homosexual friends have a similar background. Another quote from a book of Argentinean evangelist Carlos Annacondia speaks about the same issue:

The result of that evening was that my feelings got sidetracked. I had been sexually abused. In my case, that was literally the beginning of the end. (…)

My struggle that lasted for thirty years resembles that of many other gay people. I have met several people like me, who have drifted into homosexuality because older boys or adult men have sexually abused them. Ironically, my first experience gave me the attention from men that I longed for. At the same time, it tore apart my already weak basic security and self-esteem. (7)

Many people whom God has freed from homosexuality have told us that they have either been raped or abused sexually in the childhood. Often such words as “You are a sissy,” which the parents say, and so hurt a child, can discourage a little boy. But when Jesus comes into their life, the evil spirit has to leave and they are released. I can assure you that no other treatment is needed. (8)

FEMALE HOMOSEXUALITY. While the background of men's homosexuality is usually a bad father relationship, women have problems with their mother relationship. It is the most common reason for female homosexuality. Leanne Payne has observed this to be the most typical reason for female homosexuality:

I now understood that emotional emptiness which made Lisa especially sensitive and had caused her to easily drift into a relationship with her lesbian teacher. Lesbian behavior (except when it is a question of a hysterical personality) as a sexual neurosis is not as complicated as homosexual behavior in men. According to my experience, it is generally caused by the need to climb into the mother's lap that was not fulfilled at all or not enough in childhood. (9)

Erik Ewalds has made the same observation about female homosexuality. He writes in his book (Tahdotko tulla terveeksi, p. 94):

When treating male homosexuals, I have noticed that one reason behind their disposition is that they did not have a father figure to whom they could relate as children. They did not receive any assistance in finding their gender or the ego that would have set them free. For a long time, I have also been trying to find out what lies behind women's homosexuality. At least one reason is that the mother has not been a good role model.Then the girl has gone out to compete to identify with men. So she tries to buy dignity for herself by competing with men. I’m not claiming that this is the only reason for female homosexuality that applies to all female homosexuals but there are such cases, women with whom I’ve spoken and whom I’ve had the privilege of assisting in finding themselves.

• One reason for women's homosexuality is the woman's fear and hatred towards her father and other men, because they have behaved unlovingly towards her. Also, if she has experienced sexual harassment from men, it may expand her fear and hatred towards men. In his longing for love, he may turn to a member of his own sex.

• If the parents have wished for a boy instead of a girl and subconsciously try to force the girl into the role of a boy, that is a predisposing factor. This is a common background factor in male homosexuality as well.

REACTING TO CIRCUMSTANCES. The background to the birth of homosexuality is often unfavorable factors, which were mentioned above.

However, it must be stated that although many people have similar circumstances, it has not made them homosexual. They have been able to suffer from the same things and yet have not drifted into a similar life.

Our reaction to our own circumstances matters a lot. A good example is that although prostitutes and criminals usually always come from certain kinds of homes, many people from similar circumstances have not ended up as prostitutes or criminals. It shows that everyone can influence their own choices.

Alan Medinger, himself a former homosexual, tells more about the subject. He mentions that it was not the circumstances themselves that caused his homosexuality, but rather how he reacted to the circumstances. His story is surely true of many other people who are now practicing homosexuality:

You can find from my past almost all of those circumstances that are usually thought to lead to homosexuality: I was not a wanted child, my parents had hoped for a daughter, I had an older brother who better-met our father’s expectations, and a father who had big problems in his emotional life. He could hardly manage his own life, not to mention being a real father for his sons. I know that these circumstances did not cause my homosexuality. Rather, how I reacted to these led me into this direction. (10)

IS CHANGE POSSIBLE? As stated, homosexual behavior has often been justified by the notion that it is innate and that change is not possible. Even the wrong kind of pity has been shown and said, "You were born this way; you just have to accept your lot." This is a common notion that is repeatedly brought up.

But as we noted before, homosexuality is not inborn, but is a question of circumstances and one's own choices. If it were hereditary, it would be likely that, for example, among three children, everyone, not just one, would end up homosexual. However, most of the time this does not happen, and the matter can be limited to only one sibling. Likewise, if it were hereditary, the parents and grandparents should also be similarly oriented. However, they have not been this. It shows that homosexuality is not a matter of hereditary or inborn.

What about experiencing change? It is certainly possible, although many homosexuals may say that they never can or will not change.

However, God, who created man male and female, can heal a broken person, because that is what this is also about. He can heal a person's brokenness and repair whole what has been broken down inside over the years. A person just has to surrender his life to God first.

A good example of how God works is seen in Cor. 6. In this passage, it is described how homosexuals will not inherit the kingdom of God, but then Paul adds, "And such were some of you." This indicates that some of these people were previously homosexual but were not anymore. Paul wrote:

- (1 Cor 6:9,11) Know you not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortionists, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

11 And such were some of you: but you are washed, but you are sanctified, but you are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.

Alan Medinger has also told about his own change. His release happened suddenly, which doesn't always happen to everyone:

The following day and the days after it I noticed that a whole lot of miracles had taken place. Homosexual fantasies that I had had every day over the past 25 years had disappeared. I experienced such a love towards Willa, that I had not even imagined it to be possible. And what is perhaps even more important, God was not a distant judge to me anymore, but He had become my personal Savior. Jesus loved me, and I loved Him a lot. It was the first time I understood what loving and to be loved really mean. (…)

Because the healing from homosexuality took place so suddenly, I am often asked how perfect the healing really is. I can answer by saying that time is a proof of its genuineness and that a blessed marriage is the fruit of it. Over the last ten years, I have not experienced any homosexual temptations. With temptation I mean that I would have seriously considered or wished to have sex with men. However, after the basic healing I in a way missed having an older, stronger man in my life. Also this has now gone, and I regard men as my brothers, not as fathers or protectors. (11)

Let's look at another quote that is related to the topic. It tells about a transsexual woman who lived 37 years in the role of a man (The title of the writing is: 37 years in the role of a man: God restored my identity). She acted like a man, dressed like a man and used a man's nickname. She suppressed everything feminine in herself and very few knew that she was actually a woman.

The reason for her behaviour was mainly the conditions of her childhood and life, which is a common background for homosexuals and the sexually disabled. Her parents had wanted a boy instead of a girl, and she found that she pleased her parents better in the role of a boy. However, liberation and recovery started when she gave her life to God:

… - I’m from the Netherlands. My father was an Italian and my mother a Romany of the Netherlands. My family was very broken. I had to cope with the criminal world of Rotterdam already in youth. At the age of fourteen, I was sentenced to prison for three and half years, La Serpe tells.

Because of problems at home, the girl spent several years of her childhood with her grandmother in Italy. Her parents had hoped for their firstborn to be a boy. The girl noticed already at an early age that she pleased her parents and managed in streets better as a boy. The dresses, jewellery and make-up were not for her. Luisa suppressed all things feminine in herself and took as her name the masculine name Loid.

Only a few knew her right sex because she shaved her hair, used men’s clothes and behaved like other men.

(...) This is how Luisa’s change from a drug dealer to an evangelist began. Femininity began to be in proportion as she started to recover from her internal wounds, of which the rejection experiences of her childhood were biggest. It took, however, several years before she dared to give up her male identity wholly to God’s care.

(...) God assured that He knew how Luisa was doing. He promised to heal the wounds of her heart if Luisa only returned to Him.

- That night, the Holy Spirit came and took care of me. I got to be healed thoroughly from my internal wounds and to be in His arms like a child. I repented that I had lived in the role of a man up to the age of 37. Only then did I dare to give up my male identity wholly to God and accept my femininity.

The tall, beautiful woman breaks with emotion many times as she remembers the old days. The journey has not been easy but today she is happy. Luisa is full of joyful tension as she waits to see what God has planned for her next.

After her recovery, Luisa returned to slum work among the most miserable of Fortaleza in Brazil. She shows photographs in which she poses with a saved, former Macumba priest or prays with a crying woman whose lower extremities are gangrened because of untreated diabetes.

- Poverty, diseases, criminality and prostitution are the daily reality in slums. Sometimes I had to flee with my friends from gangsters armed with jungle knives. But still the work was worth the while, Luisa La Serpe rejoices. (12)

Human relationships are important for healing and change, both for homosexuals and other people. Many have rejection experiences in the past in the background, where they were rejected by e.g. father, mother, teacher or school friends. (A radio program reported how 50% of young homosexuals had planned suicide, which indicates difficult life experiences. For others, the number was many times lower.) As a result of their experiences, it is difficult for them to accept themselves and their self-image is negative. They can hate themselves, be critical of their appearance and being, but also be suspicious of other people. These are normal consequences of rejection experiences and rejection in the past.

How can a person free himself from the unpleasant experiences of the past and a negative self-image? One way is God's direct action and his touch: he can touch us in an instant so that we heal from the traumas of the past; they no longer trouble our minds. He can do in a few minutes what would otherwise require a process of years.

Another way to heal is through good human relations. When a person expects to be rejected but receives acceptance, it can help them heal and develop a better self-image. This applies to all people, both those with a homosexual background and other people. Let's look at a quote where a former homosexual talks about how good relationships helped him accept himself:

I started a new phase in my life when I was more and more convinced as a young believer that God could free me from my homosexuality and that He was calling me to free others in His name. The most important in this all was my changing schools: I transferred from my old university to the University of California in Los Angeles (UCLA). I moved into a house for Christian males, which was both a challenge and a blessing for me in equal measures.

I was forced to face my own fears and prejudices about men – particularly conservative heterosexual men. My old ambivalence rose to the surface. These men represented traditions and orthodoxy, the kind of normality that rejected me and against which I naturally rebelled. (...) I learned something huge and unexpected during my first year there: all these men loved me. Despite all the signs showcasing my unconventional cultural background (long hair, sharp tongue, sinister sense of humour), they brought out the good in me and really blessed me. Their love was quite rough sometimes. One of them once told me to repent my pride and elitist attitude (my sinful way of protecting myself from rejection). But most of my brothers showed their love by praying for me and encouraging me to grow in the Lord.

I was surprised at meeting such whole men who were able to love other men freely, even tenderly, without any erotic agenda. My attitude towards them was sometimes reserved but I revelled in the clearly masculine affirmation they offered me. When I felt safe enough, I opened up to tell one of the guys in the house about myself, putting myself at risk to be rejected, which allowed me to experience inner healing I had never before experienced. I was one of them and I loved it. I understood that I was finally able to enjoy true love with people of the same sex in the manner God intended.

Jesus gave me courage during the time I lived with these men. He helped me by allowing me to lean on Him and use the gifts He has given me. For the first time in my life, others told me that I may have gifts as a speaker and counselor.

I started to see myself as a dynamic worker in the Kingdom of God, instead of being a “recovering” homosexual. I enjoyed life and felt that I was valuable with my roots in His love and His purpose. I felt that I was living God’s great plan to the fullest, seeking for God and rejoicing in His care. His care was clear and continuous over the course of the eighteen months or so I spent in the house. (13)

"I HAVE THIS TENDENCY". When we look at whether homosexuality is inborn, many people may argue by saying that they have this tendency and can do nothing about it (we noted before that homosexuality is not inborn). They may also say that their tendency cannot be morally wrong.

However, the fact that someone has a tendency, such as homosexuality, is not exceptional. Others may have tendencies toward excessive alcohol use, smoking, anger, extramarital affairs, pornography use, or other things. Those are tendencies too. Homosexuality is not much different from the previous things.

However, the fact that we have a certain tendency - be it innate or not - does not make us just a victim of circumstances. We can, at least to some extent, choose how much our inclination guides us. Thus, a person with a homosexual tendency can choose whether to have sex at all or only with one or more people. Likewise, a married spouse can decide whether to remain faithful to his or her spouse, even if he or she is tempted to fall in love with another person outside the marriage. Likewise, a food lover can curb his appetite to some extent, just as a smoker can decide at what moment he puts a cigarette in his mouth.

The question is whether we let our wrong tendencies rule our lives. Paul wrote:

- (Rom 6:12) Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in the lusts thereof.

God's help in overcoming tendencies. The previous paragraph talked about tendencies and overcoming them. In addition, it is possible that a person is addicted to these things. Perhaps you are the kind of person who has struggled with homosexuality or some other dependency but have not been able to get rid of it.

The fact that you have such an addiction is actually a sign that you belong to a certain group of people. You are, according to the Bible, the servant of sin as Jesus said:

- (John 8:34,35) Jesus answered them, Truly, truly, I say to you, Whoever commits sin is the servant of sin.

35 And the servant stays not in the house for ever: but the Son stays ever.

However, if you suffer from the slavery of sin, you can be set free. Jesus, who said the previous words about the slavery of sin, is also a friend of sinners (Matthew 11:19) as his enemies called him. He accepts sinners, i.e. people like each of us:

- (Luke 15:1,2) Then drew near to him all the publicans and sinners for to hear him.

2 And the Pharisees and scribes murmured, saying, This man receives sinners, and eats with them.

So, if you are suffering from homosexuality or are in some other way a slave to sin, you can be freed if you turn to Jesus Christ. He has promised to make you free:

- (John 8:36) If the Son therefore shall make you free, you shall be free indeed.

Homosexuality is a sin. The most serious thing about homosexuality is that it is a sin and that its practitioners will not inherit the kingdom of God. Many people may not like it, but it was written about 2,000 years ago, completely independently of us. The following verses refer to this:

- (1 Cor 6:9,10) Know you not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortionists, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

- (Lev 18:22) You shall not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.

- (Rom 1:26,27) For this cause God gave them up to vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:

27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was meet.

- (1 Tim 1:9,10) Knowing this, that the law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and for sinners, for unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for murderers,

10 For fornicators, for them that defile themselves with mankind, for enslavers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine;

- (Jude 1:7) Even as Sodom and Gomorrah, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.

The next example illustrates how important it is to understand that practicing homosexuality and lust is a sin. If one does not understand this, he can never find peace with God and get a clear conscience. It also bars his possibility to be saved:

I remember another person who, too, consulted doctors often. He came to talk also with me. People had prayed for him a lot, but he did not find peace with God. Everybody said: “Just believe in God. That is enough.” But the Lord told me about the matter and I dared to ask the patient a frightening question: “Are you a homosexual?” He said: “How can you know?” I answered: “The Lord showed me that.” “It happened as I was still young”, he said. “Have you confessed this sin to the Lord? When you confess your sin, you will be healed”, I answered. “But that’s not a sin. It’s an illness.” I said: “Then I cannot help you.” I said goodbye to the patient. Six weeks later he came to me and said: “Now I am convinced that it is a sin.” I said again: “Confess it to the Lord.” He answered: “I cannot do it.” For a half hour we battled for his soul, until he confessed his acts to the Lord. From that day he has been a happy man. Never again did he have to go to a mental hospital. Happiness could be seen on his face! There is power in the blood of Jesus Christ. God gives the fullness of His Holy Spirit so that we can help people to freedom. People are enslaved by sin, and a superficial message about Jesus cannot free them. (14)

However, many people think that homosexuality is not a sin and they can defend it in the name of love and tolerance. But it is good to ask that if the previous passages of the Bible are correct and true, doesn't that turn the matter the other way around? In light of this, the statements of people who promote and support the homosexual lifestyle will only lead others away from God, into damnation. These persons, who do not care about the souls of men, set themselves up as the greatest authorities when they claim the preceding verses of the Bible as lies. Perhaps what Jesus said about those through whom temptations come applies to such people (Luke 17:1,2, See also James 3:1,2)

The most important thing, however, is that no-one has to go to hell because of homosexuality or any other sin. If we turn to God and repent, then everything can change and we will receive forgiveness in our life.

This is based on what took place nearly 2,000 years ago through Jesus. The Bible tells us very clearly that God sent Him - Jesus the Messiah - because God loved the world and each of us:

- (John 3:16) For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

The Bible tells us that when Christ came to the Earth, he took away the sin of the world by dying on the cross. Because the sin of the world was put onto Him and taken away, our sins were also taken away. This enables God to forgive us for our sins, and gives us a new life here on Earth, if we want to receive it:

- (John 1:29) The next day John sees Jesus coming to him, and said, Behold the Lamb of God, which takes away the sin of the world.

- (2 Cor 6:1,2) We then, as workers together with him, beseech you also that you receive not the grace of God in vain.

2 (For he said, I have heard you in a time accepted, and in the day of salvation have I succored you: behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.)

Receiving life. If someone has gone away from God for a long time, he or she can still be saved and have a connection with Him. He or she can also overcome his or her tendencies, so that they will not control the main part of his or her life. This includes the following aspects:

Coming to the Heavenly Father. The first step is when we turn to our Heavenly Father. It only happens through Jesus Christ, as Jesus Himself said:

- (John 14:6) Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man comes to the Father, but by me.

So, when you personally turn to God through Jesus Christ, you can tell Him that you want to be in connection with Him and that you need salvation. Luke 15 tells the story of the prodigal son. The son confessed his sins and returned to his father. As a result, the father was filled with compassion for him and ran to him. Our Heavenly Father's attitude towards you and all of us who turn to Him is the same:

- (Luke 15:18-20) I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before you,

19 And am no more worthy to be called your son: make me as one of your hired servants.

20 And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.

Understand God's love! Next, understand that God loves you. He has loved you always, even when you did not know Him. It has been written:

- (Rom 5:6-8) For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.

7 For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die.

8 But God commends his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

You must also understand that the same applies to the present if you have turned to God. God's love does not depend on how successful your life has been or how well you have defeated sin, it is full-time love. This is what Paul's letter to the Romans says about it:

- (Rom. 8:35, 39) Who shall separate us from the love of Christ…

39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Trust! The third important thing is that you trust in the power of God in your life. This is based on the fact that you have been grafted onto Christ (John 15:5). When you are tempted (and that certainly will happen!), you can look at Christ and wait for Him to do what to you is impossible. You will certainly not become perfect in the blink of an eye, but you can rely on His help in your life:

- (Phil 1:6) Being confident of this very thing, that he which has begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.

So, if you have a temptation or tendency towards homosexuality, remember that you can conquer it in the same way that you can conquer anger, criticism, alcoholism, and other sins: by the power of Jesus Christ. This was very common in the early congregation and we can certainly expect it now. You must only turn to God and wait for His miracle to happen in your life:

- (Tit 3:3-5) For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another.

4 But after that the kindness and love of God our Savior toward man appeared,

5 Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy He saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;

References:

1. Jerry Arterburn: Kun kulissit kaatuvat (How Will I Tell My Mother), p.131

2. Same, p. 73

3. Andrew Comiskey: Täyteen miehuuteen ja koko naiseksi (Pursuing Sexual Wholeness), p. 131

4. Leanne Payne: Särkynyt minäkuva (The Broken Image), p. 46

5. Andrew Comiskey: Täyteen miehuuteen ja koko naiseksi (Pursuing Sexual Wholeness), p. 139,140

6. Leanne Payne: Särkynyt minäkuva (The Broken Image), p. 84, 85

7. Jerry Arterburn: Kun kulissit kaatuvat (How Will I Tell My Mother), p. 39,40

8. Carlos Annacondia: Kuuntele minua Saatana! (Listen to me, satan!), p. 122

9. Leanne Payne: Särkynyt minäkuva (The Broken Image), p.30

10. Roland Werner: Toisenlainen rakkaus (Homosexualität – ein Schicksal?), p.48

11. Same, p.50,51

12. Näky-magazine 4 / 2008, p. 10-12

13. Andrew Comiskey: Täyteen mieheyteen ja koko naiseksi (Pursuing Sexual Wholeness), p. 171,172

14. Michael Harry: Te saatte voiman, p. 75

THE MOST IMPORTANT SOURCES:

Arterburn jerry: How Will I Tell My Mother

Comiskey Andrew: Pursuing Sexual Wholeness

Payne Leanne: The Broken Image

Werner Roland: Homosexualität – ein Schicksal?